girlofprey

Yesterday I had a Jobseeker's appointment at 10am. I woke up at 9:23. Thankfully, it's only about a 20 minute walk from my house into town, so I jumped up, brushed my teeth, my hair, put on some clothes and whizzed out of the house. I made it to the Jobcentre for 10, then sat around waiting for my appointment. After fifteen minutes I was still waiting, and no-one looked like they were late with their appointments or in a rush or coming to see me any time soon. You're supposed to tell someone if you're waiting 15 minutes or more, so I double-checked my appointment time. And the appointment was actually for today. So I went home, and had some breakfast.

The reason I was probably so tired was because I decided to finally give myself a breast exam, which I haven't done in a few months. I never like to do them, because I get so wound up it ends up taking me a couple of hours, and I get so worried about checking everything that feels like a lump I usually end up hurting myself. I sort of need to get on it though, because I'm on the pill now, and the hormones will probably end up changing them a bit anyway, plus it slightly increases my chance of getting breast cancer. So I did one, rather than continuing to worry about the fact I hadn't done one in a while. It took me three and a half hours, and I hurt myself so much I was still getting really sharp pains the following morning. I get the feeling my technique is not the best.

Anyway. Overall, it has led to me feeling tired, still, today, and I had to get up for my actual Jobseeker's appointment this morning (which went fine). So now I don't know if I'm too tired for kickboxing tonight. I really ought to go, because I haven't been in over a month now, and I am planning to switch over to the Wakefield branch, so I need to at least call and tell my instructors about it. But I am tired, and it's sparring tonight, which is really high energy and involves keeping up with other people, and sometimes when I go and I am tired I start feeling really light-headed and like I'm about to pass out. Ugh. Maybe I will just call them. I'm definitely switching over though - I gave my notice in at the Hospice on Saturday. I'm going to miss it, but I just think I get more out of kickboxing (when I go regularly), so...life moves on. My boss woman is coming in to see me on Saturday if she can, since she's away during my last weekend. So yeah. It's a shame, but I think it's for the best.

Other adventures I have had this week: my mum was working on Monday, so I decided to go out and get Chinese takeaway for dinner. I forgot that our Chinese takeaway isn't open on Mondays, so I had to walk in the complete opposite direction to get pizza. On the plus side: pizza. On the minus side: ughhhhladkjaslkd.

Emmerdale is the worst at the moment. I can't believe Robron.

I'm pretty sure my period has started. Which is nice, because it's due, but after the stress of last week I wasn't sure if it wouldn't be delayed a little bit, and I might end up getting it when I was supposed to be going to Insomnia (the computer game convention) next week, and I might end up missing it again. Which I'd rather not do, number one because I actually want to go, and number two because an email has informed me there'll be Playstation VR stuff there - which seems pretty obvious now. And I'd quite like to try it out, given that I still keep dallying with the idea of getting it. It'd be nice to know if I'm one of the people that gets motion sickness just from VR before shelling out a bunch of money on it. It's probably a bit of a pipe dream anyway, because some leaked materials have suggested you need a 6ft by 4ft area of completely empty space to use it, so the headset doesn't get confused, and I'm basically planning to get it just for sitting-on-my-bed play. But. It's worth checking out at the very least.

Another mark against getting it is the fact that my bank account is quickly dwindling. I do have savings - what little I have that my parents haven't borrowed - but still. It's probably an idea to get on Jobseeker's pretty soon, or just start looking for a job. The sheer amount of time it took to find out I couldn't apply for Jobseeker's until a calendar month after my last ESA payment, though, makes me think getting onto Jobseeker's isn't going to be an easy and stress-free experience. Part of me wants to leave it until after this week's 'home holiday', to make up for the holiday last week, before getting into it.

I went to kickboxing last night, and accidentally banged my foot, which before then had been pretty much getting better. So I'm icing it now and it's been hurting all day. So that's awesome.

Things that are genuinely awesome: Machias and Jusis in Trails of Cold Steel. I hope they get married by the end of the trilogy, just to show those nobles.

Oh my God, I forgot. I forgot that when you have a cold and then it gets better, it doesn't actually get better, it just moves further down your throat. I spent most of last night not being able to sleep or breathe. Technically I spent most of today not being able to sleep (or breathe) either. Ughhhhh....

I finished most of the Deep Roads main quest on Dragon Age: Origins today. ( Spoilers, sort of )

My appeal hearing is next week. A week tomorrow, in fact. I called an ESA assistance charity earlier this week to see if they had any tips for me, and they suggested trying to get medical evidence. I have no idea what medical evidence I can really get, since I hardly ever see my doctor about my OCD, even for a medical note, and my counselling wasn't through the NHS. I have called my counselling service, to see if my old counsellor would write me a letter, only to be told that the receptionist 'didn't know of anyone there by that name' (??), but that someone could write me a letter just generally on behalf of the service. They said that person would call me back on Tuesday, but they didn't, so I called again yesterday, and they told me that that person - the only one who apparently has the authority to write this letter - was training this week, but might be back tomorrow. If they do call tomorrow, I'm not entirely sure what to say. If they're not my counsellor and can't talk to her they won't know about my problems, specifically, and I don't know if she kept notes, she never mentioned it. And the charity people said it would be better if the medical evidence could specifically address the questions they ask in the ESA assessment, and whether I would be able to manage with those problems. Which seems like a complicated thing to have to write with no personal knowledge of me, before next Friday. But there we go. I can't think of anything else to do other than to ask my GP to give a general run-down of OCD. And the doctor on the panel ought to know enough about that.

Partly it's my own fault, I know, for leaving it this late. I guess I thought I'd have more time between getting the court date and having to attend it. But I had months before that, and I left it. The charity people did say that I could ask the Tribunal to adjourn until I had more medical evidence, if I didn't know I was supposed to have it, but they do ask you to get any medical evidence you need in the tribunal papers. And I don't know if I could go to the court next week not knowing whether we were actually going to have the Tribunal, or adjourn it. So I don't know. I don't know how much of an option that is. I guess it depends what response I get from the counselling service and/or my GP, and how long it would take to get evidence from them. The charity people also said that the government keeps changing the parameters for being eligible for benefits, so someone who got them last year might not get them this year. So. There's that.

Blah blah blah blah blah. I'm so tired. And so ill. :(

At least if I don't get ESA awarded to me next week, I have enough money in the bank and in an ISA to be able to cope for a few weeks while I decide what to do next, and what I want to do. I don't really want to have to go back at Jobseeker's. Particularly not if they really are making some people be slave labour. But I might have to.

So. Late night posts about Casualty and Pairing Picspam aside. Obviously I'm pretty horrified about what's happening in Japan at the moment. I can't really say I hope everyone's okay when they haven't got the official death toll yet, and there's all this danger of nuclear accidents, but you. I'm sending good thoughts. As a lot of people have said, Japan is more prepared than most countries for earthquakes, so hopefully they'll get back on their feet again. I hope anyone on my flist who lives there or has friends or relatives near there is okay at the moment.

Is it just me, or are me seeing a lot of natural disasters lately, in the past few years? More than we used to? Or is it just that the news stations and papers are reporting more often on them? Then again, it's only in the last few years I've been properly paying much attention to the news, so maybe it's just me.

Anyway. On a personal note, the big news I have from my life this week is that I've come off Jobseeker's Allowance. I've been thinking about it for awhile, and sort of assuming I would be coming off, and I guess I was already thinking that I wasn't going to do it anymore, because I had an appointment on Wednesday and I really wasn't prepared for it, I didn't fill in my job seeking diary, or go to bed, and then I got up late. I was probably going to be late for my appointment anyway, so I took a bit more time and when I got in the car with my mum I told her to just go to Weightwatchers, and I'd walk over to the Jobcentre, because I was signing off. I told them I wanted to go onto incapacity instead and they gave me the number for them. I tried to call them that day, but my mobile's battery was nearly dead and I had to stay out and go to Wakefield for an appointment. So I ended up calling them on Thursday. My paperwork came through for me to check this morning, and I need to get an appointment with my doctor to try to get a sicknote or whatever. Which I might not get, so this might all go nowhere. But I'm going to try to do that this week, and I'll see what happens. I need to send my P45 as well, whenever the Jobcentre send that through. According to the paperwork I got today my claim with them hasn't ended yet, so I have no idea what's happening with that, or when that will be. So I'll just have to wait for that. But yes. Apart from that, I'm getting on with it.

Part of it was going to this new service in Wakefield, for people with mental health problems trying to get back into work. I came to realise while talking to them that actually I'm a little bit afraid of the idea of suddenly going back into a full-time job at the moment. Sometimes I feel like I'm actually doing about as much as I can at the moment, especially after looking after one of my nephews for a day or something. And I've had a few weird episodes where I went a bit weird mentally, and it was usually after something like doing a lot of things at once, day after day for a little while. So I really do feel like I'd like to try to ease myself back into work, maybe with a volunteer placement or a part-time job just to start with. I know you can look for part-time work with the Jobcentre, especially if you talk to the DEA and stuff, but I do find it a bit of an extra workload anyway, and quite stressful, so I'd like to just try using this service in Wakefield and trying to get on incapacity, if I can, for now. If it doesn't work, I will be straight back onto Jobseeker's I guess. Or not doing that, and having no money for a while.

Anyway. So that's what I'm doing at the moment. Actually, I've been doing a few useful things lately. I cashed a cheque I finally got on behalf of my dad for an insurance claim we made after getting stuck in Barcelona last year, and wrote him out a cheque for it this week. I changed my phone to a Pay As You Go tariff, in an effort to reduce some of my bills. And I called a woman who I'd forgotten called me one morning when I was at cakesy's the other week, who is apparently sorting out or doing my new counselling sessions, and said she'd either be calling me in a few days or a few weeks. She hasn't called me, so I called her on Thursday, and she hasn't called back. I will be calling her again next week probably, if she doesn't get in touch.

In other news, I watched Thursday's second Emmerdale episode, and based on things I'd read in the soap mags beforehand, it was about as violent and awful as I was expecting it to be. But at least they seem to be making the point that Cain's behaviour is NOT OKAY, and treating your partner or ex-partner like that is NOT OKAY, and making fun of someone for having become a prostitute at 14 is NOT OKAY. And just that Cain and Charity's relationship is at least partly a pretty unhealthy one. I don't know if they weren't retconning Charity's prostitute past a bit, because I've never heard her talk about being awful like that before. But then, I didn't watch it when she first came into it, when she was a prostitute, and I don't think I've heard her talk about it before either. I didn't realise she became one so young, either. But it's still a pretty good point to make, even if it's a change from how they've treated it/talked about it before. And Charity was amazing, at any rate. And Nicola, in the same episode, was also amazing, oh God I love Nicola. And then I watched Coronation Street, and Rita was amazing. And David was running around trying to emotionally protect his girlfriend from his mother and grandmother, and trying to protect them from her comments. He wanted his girlfriend to go away and make some mood boards. Oh. I actually quite like the relationship David's got with Kylie, although I haven't seen all of it since she came back into it. But I think it works, and they do seem to really like/fancy each other. I don't know if they'll actually get down the aisle though. Mostly I'm picturing something going wrong on the day, and one of them leaving, and there being no wedding, and when David leaves the church Gary is outside waiting for him, all "Right. You ready to go?" But maybe they will go for it. Who knows.

Later on, David tried to reassure his girlfriend that his grandmother used to be a 'slapper from the wrong side of the tracks' as well, and that then she married a shopkeeper, and ended up being lady mayoress, so his mum and grandma would probably come around to her (Kylie) as well. Kylie was not that impressed with that bit of 'reassurance'. Oh David. I wish he would make friends with Becky soon. They could bond over their hatred of Tracy. But given the fact that he loves Kylie and Kylie and Becky hate each other a bit at the moment, that doesn't seem that likely. I didn't watch last night's soaps, though. My oldest nephew was here, so we played Monkeyball on the Wii instead.

My main news from today is that my dad has apparently been drilling up into the base of my set-into-the-wall wardrobe, thinking he was drilling into the floor of the room next door to mine, from a room underneath mine and the bedroom next door to me. No drillbits came up through the carpet, not even through the wardrobe really, but he's pretty sure the floor underneath it is where it came up. He's decided to stop his drilling project now, based on that. I think.

Gary, Gary, Gary. You are never going to get that shag out of David if you keep making cracks about his mother. And he'll never get to see your "new moves".

(I love tonight's Coronation Street. David caught Gary sneaking home, and first they went to the shed in Gary's garden where David used to hang out when Darryl lived there, and they confused each other about words that were made up of other words, and then David invited Gary round to his house 'for crisps', and they drank beer and talked about David's mum being in prison, and Gary being on the run from the army, and then argued, and then Gary made David give his word that he wouldn't mention having seen him, and then left, and David was laughing, but then looked kind of thoughtful. It was brill.)

Anyway. Ways in which administration has screwed me over slightly today:

• I'm on a scheme at the Jobcentre which means I have extra appointments and see an advisor outside of my signing on appointments, which is apparently something they did on the old scheme, but Nottingham was on the new scheme, but at my local Jobcentre they're still on the old scheme, so I'm doing that. Or something. But basically I had my first appointment at the beginning of April/end of March, and I couldn't have another one until today at 10am because my advisor woman was doing a training course and going on holiday. But then on Saturday I got an envelope from the Jobcentre with just another appointment card, with the same woman, with an appointment on in for next Tuesday. Nothing else, nothing to say if today's one had been cancelled or why I'd gotten it. And it was the weekend, so I couldn't call the Jobcentre to check or anything. So I had to get up this morning, in time to possibly go to today's appointment, and call to ask if today's appointment was cancelled. Which it was. So I went back to bed.



• ( My trials and tribulations with an electricity bill from my flat )

That is all the exciting things going on in my life, anyway. Apart from my dad having booked a holiday in Spain, near Barcelona, which I get to go on as well, in a few weeks time. Hurray.

It's been snowing on me today. I like the snow. Sometimes I thinking about making a post about, or talking about, which is my favourite season, but then I realise that I like winter, summer and spring. And the leaves turn all beautiful in autumn. So, so much for that.

I had a Jobseeker's Appointment today, and it's basically the last thing I needed to do before the weekend. Except call a medical clinic to book a time for my interview next week. I have another interview, now. I can't believe they've started offering me interviews just as I decided that I was probably going to have to move back to my parents'. I'm going to go to it, and hopefully I will hear back about it before the end of January, when I have to give notice to my estate agents' about giving up the flat. But if I don't I'll probably give notice anyway, given that I didn't have much luck with the other two interviews I've just had. And hope that if they do offer me a job that I can cancel things with the estate agents. I don't know, my mum seems to think you can.

( Moving house stuff )

I have, however, since last week or since I got back received a letter from the Jobcentre saying they couldn't send me a transcript of my original call asking for Jobseeker's Allowance and (I'm pretty sure) housing benefit in September, but that they could confirm that information was sent to the Housing Benefit office from the Jobcentre about me on the day that I called. Which I think is proof. I've taken it down and handed it in today, and it is past the deadline I was given to appeal the decision about when my Housing Benefit was being paid from so I'm not really sure it'll make any difference, but hopefully it might change their minds. And I also got a letter from the council saying that I was owed a refund on my Council Tax of £271. Which was nice. I have to fill in a form and send it back if I want that refund, and I'm not actually sure where it is at the moment, but I'm really intending to do that. Because I WOULD like the refund.

It's a bit weird going around Nottingham knowing that I'm going to be leaving it shortly though. One of the main shops I'm going to miss is Evolution, which is a shop that sells rather lovely sort of ornamental things and scarves and stuff, but which is apparently all fair trade and essentially a charity. They're having a sale at the moment, and I've been buying a few things I've had my eye on, like a mosaic-style mirror and a paperweight with a fairy on it, but it does seem a bit odd to be buying decorative things when I'm going to be moving out soon. Then again, the nearest Evolution shop to me when I move back to Yorkshire will be in Sheffield. So hmph. Annoyingly, there was a guitar-shaped mirror I wanted, and really saved some of my Christmas money to buy it with when I came back to Nottingham, but when I went in it wasn't there, and the man at the till said "Oh yes, there's no stock here, and none at the main warehouse. We're expecting new stock in at the end of March." The end of March is not really good for me. But oh well.

Anyway. I'm still mainly done with useful things for the week. And I'm going to London to see The Snow Queen and hang out with cakesy, which is nice. And I watched a video on the Emmerdale website that claimed to be a 'teaser' about who kills Mark Wylde tomorrow, but showed exactly who does it and how it is done. So I don't have to wonder about that anymore. So mostly things are quite pleasing at the moment. Hurrah.

I did not apply for any jobs on Tuesday. There were none I had experience for that which didn't seem to want me to have a driver's license, or some other ridiculous thing. I did not go to my appointment on Wednesday. I stayed up all night, since I'd not been getting up for most of the week at a time that get me to my appointment, then decided to lay down for an hour at 9 o'clock-ish, set my alarms for half ten, then got into bed and woke up when my mother called, at what I thought was the time I'd set my alarms for, but was in fact the time when I should have been at my appointment. I rescheduled, and I'm going tomorrow instead. And meeting my mother in town to get an interview suit. Everything's going to go fine, I assume. I've actually seen quite a nice suit in Marks and Spencer's, so hopefully if it suits me and isn't too expensive, it should be fairly straightforward.

Anyway. The Maria and Tony storyline, as I have said, is finishing tonight. So I'm going to have another crack at why I love it. ( Tony/Maria, Part 2 )

The new episode is on now. Oh.

I still suck at posting, it turns out. My adventures recently have included:

• Last Wednesday - A Jobcentre appointment and all the usual lack of sleep, running around and applying for jobs/lying that goes along with that.



• Last Thursday - A counselling appointment, and all the lack of sleep that goes along with getting up for an appoinment at about 11 in the morning for me when I've normally been getting out of bed a bit later than that. Although the appointment itself was fairly fine, my counselling woman is quite nice.



• Last Friday - Getting out of bed to answer the phone, which turned out to be one of my agencies calling to offer me a temporary job, which started today, and which I accepted. It's only for four weeks, but it is work. Hurrah.



• Saturday and Sunday: - The Riverside Festival, which is one of my favourite things about Nottingham. There are live bands from around the world, and fairground rides, and people wandering around in costumes doing street theatre, and fairground-style burger and candyfloss vans, and it's by a river, and admission is free. On the Saturday I saw a dance performance as well by a local dance class doing swing-dancing. Then tap-dancing. And then another dance class who proceeded to do the cha-cha, and confusingly, a jive dance to the same song the celebrities did a group swing dance to on the last series of Strictly Come Dancing. But it was good. And now I get the enjoyable opportunity to look up the great bands I saw from various countries up on the internet. Yay.



• Monday - Running around trying to get all my housing benefits and Jobseekers Allowance and things properly notified that I'm going to be working for a bit, and make sure I have clothes and stuff.



• Today - My first day of work since February/March. Which was not so bad, but mostly because we weren't on the computers yet, and couldn't do much besides reading the leaflets they gave us, having health and safety talks and a quick run-through of what we would be doing when we did get on the computers, and talking. Tomorrow is when the actual work will start, but it looks fairly simple so far, and there's a few other temps working with me who started today, one of whom I'm sitting with and who seems quite nice. So really a pretty good day. Yay.

I am not going Naarmamo. Sadly. But my other adventures have included finding out that, although I was excited about seeing Sue Perkins in a toga/shift thing during the Ancient Rome episode of The Supersizers Go... - what I should have been really excited about was seeing her get a 1920s bob for the 1920s episode. And doing the Charlston. As I found out at about 1.30am last night, when I was drying my hair. Oh my God.

And on Sunday night - watching Single-Handed. Good Lord. I could see from the adverts it was going to be a gritty sort of police drama, although for some reason I was convinced it was going to be set in Scotland. And continued to be convinced through most of the programme, no matter how often they mentioned Dublin. But I didn't know it was going to be about a gruff young policeman fighting against a hideous web of corruption in his own home town, and finding out ( Spoiler ). I HAVE FALLEN QUITE HARD FOR SINGLE-HANDED. OH GOD. It's a bit great.

I went to my first (new) Jobseeker's appointment today. They seem to be expecting me to do a lot more this time, or perhaps I was doing more to find work last time besides going to see them. Now I have to fill in a diary thing, and my next appointment is Monday. Previously I had 2 weeks between my initial appointment and the first proper Jobseeker's appointment. Which means I sort of have two days. I need to update my CV, mostly. And find somewhere to print it, since I don't have a printer. Which I will do. The lady I spoke to today printed me off two or three jobs from her computer, so it's not that bad.

I did get a letter today saying that I was behind with my Council Tax payments though, and if I didn't pay within 7 days I would be taken to court and have to pay fees. I thought that January was one of the months where you didn't have to pay Council Tax. I was wrong. Blast.

I was watching part of the pilot of Lost the other day, because someone reminded me of the joy of it. And I know, plot development and explaining the mysteries and all that, but I do sort of wish it had stayed a show about a bunch of survivors living on a beach/in some caves, vaguely afraid of what was in the woods, but mostly just getting on with things and catching fish. It reminded me of the time I mostly wanted Sawyer, Sayid and Claire to go leave the others and just live in the woods together with Aaron. Not because I hate the other characters, particularly - although I do hate Jack and Kate - just because I thought it would be great. Sawyer could steal supplies from the others, and keep a secret stash just for them, and Sayid could do useful things and pointedly be quiet at Sawyer when he was pissy, and occasionally they’d hear a noise in the woods and all tense up, and get their guns. Claire would have a gun under her bed. I fully believe that. And they would have to hide her and Aaron away from Charlie and Locke, but that would be fine. And occasionally Rousseau would wander past, but stay a certain distance from their camp, and Sayid would go out and try to talk to her, but she wouldn't stay for long, and Sawyer would ask what her story was, and Sayid would tell him all about Alex, and Sawyer would feel quite sad about parents being separated from their child and pretend that he didn't, and she would be great, and he would sort of pretend she was his mother, running around being super in the jungle with a rifle. And Sawyer would read to Aaron, and Sawyer and Sayid would go hunting not always with great success, and Sayid would be all "And this is how you hunt without a pistol", and Sawyer would be all "Quiet before you scare away the boar!". Claire might ask to learn about hunting, but I imagine they'd insist she should stay with Aaron. Probably she'd learn a bit. She could go out for a bit with one of them while the other stayed with Aaron. It would be great. I should catch up with Seasons 3 and 4 really, and see what actually happened. Probably nothing like this.

In Casualty on Saturday we learned that Nick had some sort of degenerative disease. I'm going to post about Casualty at some point. Probably.