girlofprey

Well, it's October on Thursday, and there's still no word from my work. If I don't hear anything by then, I think I'm going to call my manager, and ask for a general heads-up. They just brought in some new restrictions in Leeds though, with a view to possibly bringing in more, so I can't imagine they're going to call more of us in when things are so uncertain. I suspect I'll be doing exactly what I'm doing right now until the furlough scheme runs out, and then...doing something else.

Assuming I will be off work all October, I think I will have a spooky month. I really enjoyed Women's Month, although I didn't do a lot of the activities personally that I'd planned to do, because I just played video games instead. But having a whole month for scary games is actually ideal, because that maybe gives you enough time to finish them. Getting scary games ON Halloween is often not ideal. And it doesn't look like I'll be doing a lot of Halloween activities I usually enjoy - there's pumpkin picking at a local farm, but without a lot of the other stuff they used to have alongside it, and without the kids here it's not necessarily something we'd do. I was thinking I might charge up my Wii U and finally try to finish Maiden of Black Water, the only Project Zero/Fatal Frame game I ever managed to get my hands on and play. It was a bit difficult for me, because it does focus a lot on suicide and suicidal themes, but I might be able to handle it a bit better now. And I'll dig out my old Halloween playlist, that I made on one computer and then it died and when I tried to transfer it to a new computer a bunch of files had been taken out or wouldn't play, and then I tried to remember it and write it down in a notebook but it never felt the same. Scary things like that.

I hate the fact that Halloween is always at half term. I have to decide what I'm going to do with my holiday for the rest of the year, since I have it now (and haven't been 'accidentally' forced to take it as sick leave), and I love Halloween and would genuinely like to take the week off then, and watch scary movies or play scary games or something. But it's half term, which means the other receptionist with young kids will probably want to take it off, or even if she doesn't it'll be harder for them to get her to cover my shifts, since she'll need to arrange childcare. And even if none of that's true, who wants to take time off during half-term when they don't have kids? When everything'll be busy? No-one, that's who. Fuck half-term Halloween.

I'd also really like to go to Scarefest at Halloween one year, but it seems weirdly like an invitation to star in my own horror film to go alone, and I don't have anyone to go with. So not this year.

Another thing I hate: cyclists. Yes, I know they're saving the environment. I still hate them. Decide if you're a road vehicle or a pedestrian!

( Family sdlfkjsdklfjh )

( Temeraire )

I've been buying some things online lately, and they're expensive enough that the sender wants me to sign for them at the door. Which is fine, but I work literally every day, and my mum and dad have stuff to do more or less every day, and DHL won't deliver on Saturdays, and all they'll say about their delivery day is "it will arrive sometime before the end of day". Which isn't helpful. I'm considering just requesting they put it through the letterbox, but that feels like a mockery of the fact I had to pay £5 for the delivery, to make it 'special'. Hmph.

First day at work yesterday. In true Halloween fashion, I cut my finger and started bleeding a bunch, had to fill in a Workplace Accident form for the first time in my life. And because we have big screens opposite the main desk playing Sky News all day, I had to watch Donald Trump talk and crow over Hillary. Her latest scandal being - she has an assistant that sends emails.

I can't believe the polls. I just...wish Americans knew what a real evil female politician was like. Like Theresa May, or Margaret Thatcher. Just no, Americans.

Anyway. Work was okay, pretty quiet, as I expected. I didn't have my email address and stuff yet, apparently now because my line manager accidentally only requested it from November 1st, so they couldn't give it to me before then for security reasons. But I should have it by today, and then I can start doing the emails and car parking stuff, and looking on the internet to while away the time. Honestly, boredom might be the biggest problem in that job - I figured I'd read graphic novels while I was there, since they're a little more pick-up-and-put-down-able than a book. But I read 2 massive ones during my shift, completely. I can't really afford to buy 2 every day for work. It was nice to actually get on with reading though. But books might actually be better.

As I expected though, the late evenings are really going to take some getting used to. The security guard who was taking over from me got there a few minutes early and was nice enough to let me go for my train, so I managed to get the 19:12 one, but even then I don't get home until about 8 o'clock. By the time I've had dinner, it's 9 o'clock. I watch a couple of Youtube videos and it's bedtime. I'm up now, and I only really have 2 hours till I need to leave for work. I mean, I knew spending 25 hours of my week working - plus travelling to and from - was going to mean I had less time for everything else, but it's different to actually be doing it. If I end up getting the 8 o'clock train most nights, it's only going to be worse. Should probably bring my PS Vita to play in the station if I get stuck. But anyway, at least I'm working. And earning.

Eventually, anyway. At the moment I'm so broke my mum had to transfer some money into my account just so my direct debit for kickboxing didn't make me go overdrawn. I was planning to buy some new work clothes, but that's on hold for the moment. Plus the fact I'm probably going to have to sort out and pay for my new railcard before the current one runs out, which will probably be before I get my first paycheck. Unless I just pay the individual fares until I get paid. There's so much to think about. I probably am going to have to transfer some money from my ISA though. Plus I'm meant to be buying/building a PC at some point. Still, I am happy to be earning and working though, and I'm happy that the job's going well.

(I couldn't figure out the phones, and first I ignored a call because I thought the girl who trained me said we didn't really do much with the phones, and then I answered a call and couldn't figure out how to transfer it, so I kept them on hold for about three minutes. But I'm pretty sure that guy was trying to sell something to one of our executives. And he never called back. So maybe it was fine. Everything went pretty smoothly after that.)

I have just been in a pumpkin patch. Now I must rest my arms and back for half an hour, before I go to kickboxing, from pushing a wheelbarrow with a four year-old and/or pumpkins in it for about forty-five minutes.

Also I am still trying to work out if I'm meant to be going in for another 'training' shift this week for my new job or not. The CEO lady, who is mostly the one who contacts me, said she wanted me to so I could see the email system and brush up on what I'd have to be doing, but I have contacted the man I'll actually be working under, and he said my email and access codes and stuff aren't ready yet. They might be by tomorrow, or they might not. He said I really didn't have to come in, since it was such late notice, even if they did get the stuff through by tomorrow, that if I'd made other plans or just wanted to make other plans they were happy for me to do that. But it seems like there would be some benefit to coming in and looking through it all. Which has left me pretty much unable to plan for the rest of the week. Hmph.

So. I think I've had a pretty successful Halloween so far. Video games seem to love doing Halloween content - I guess because so many of them are American-based, and Americans love it so. But also the latest Fatal Frame game was released yesterday, which is a series I have been interested in for probably over a decade - this is the first time they've released a localised (English language) version while I've had a console I could play it on. Sidenote: I love my Wii U. So basically I've spent my night wandering around a (fake) forest trying to find missing girls while ghosts try to fuck me up. ( Tw for slight mention of suicide )

Before that, I was playing Grand Theft Auto multiplayer. I tried multiplayer last weekend - I didn't mention that. It's alright? Not as bad as I thought it would be. I thought as soon as I got into a conflict with anyone - which is sort of the point of multiplayer, to face off against each other - I would just be getting a flood of abusive messages, and it would be miserable. But none of that happened. It probably helped that it was Grand Theft Auto, and people sort of expect everyone to behave badly and fight for no reason - more than a few people ran me over with their cars. And I didn't have a headset on, so I couldn't hear what anyone was saying. But it was okay, and I do see the fun in it, a little. But - the whole point of GTA online is sort of to do jobs for people, and rank up, and get better gear and outfits and do better jobs. By 'jobs' I mean missions, and for missions you really need to be co-operative - that's where a headset would come in handy, and the fact I don't want to talk to anyone and reveal I'm a woman, because I hear that turns out badly a lot of the time, might be a problem. I did one mission with a random team - we had one life, in case anyone died, and if anyone died again it was game over, everyone failed. I died twice. And when I came out of the mission, EVERYONE who had been in the session with me - not just in the mission, but on the server - had left except me. Which means everyone I was on the job with quit, but also EVERYONE ELSE, and I know it had nothing to do with my failure at a mission, but it did feel a little like everyone had quit out of shame. So. Multiplayer is okay. But probably better when you can be co-operative with it, and since I still don't have any friends who play videogames - who'll stick with you even if you fail a bit - that's something I still can't really do. Which might be a bit of a problem, going forward.

BUT. Multiplayer can also be fucking annoying, as I found out tonight. GTA online is doing a Halloween event - they've dropped some new clothes items, and cars, and I popped in to check it out. They didn't have as much as I thought they would, but it was still fun. And there was a new game type, Slasher. An opening came up while I was online, and I thought what the hell? Halloween fun.

The way the game worked was that one person got to be a 'Slasher' with a shotgun, and the other people in the game were victims without weapons, and they had to hide from the Slasher in a dark building. If they survived 3 minutes, they got shotguns of their own, and could go have it out with the Slasher. I won the first round. I probably shouldn't have done, the Slasher totally found me, but didn't deign to see me, so whatever, I won. The next round I got to be the Slasher. I also won. I was a great Slasher. I think all my years of loving slash really helped me out. The third round - I was doing okay in, and then my TV suddenly asked me if I wanted to turn it off because it'd been on for a few hours now, and while I was clicking 'no for fuck's sake' one of the other people punched me to death. So that person was the Slasher in round 3, and I might have killed them, but I forgot how to punch at the last minute and died. And then - just some serious bullshit. They got someone from the group of victims to go round with a flashlight, finding and pointing out other victims so the Slasher could kill them. And because the person who won a round got to be the Slasher the next round, that person was ALWAYS the Slasher, and their friend was always helping them. I assume they were friends - they had basically the same username, and they were both rank 900, which isn't a thing. The highest ranked people I've seen on GTA were about 135 - they don't give you Achievements for getting above rank 100. So, hackers probably. Hackers ruining the fucking game, and there was nothing we could do, because there were two of them, and they had a shotgun and aslfjaslkfjkl. The first time they both found me I did nothing, because there were two of them, and one of them had a flashlight (the only object victims were allowed), so I just thought 'oh, it's other victims, do they want safety in numbers?'. Then I died. It just went on and on, and what was the point, except for them to get the most experience and money they could (everyone gets some for participating, but the winner gets considerably more)? I ended up leaving, for unrelated reasons - I thought the game was going to be short, but instead there were 5 sessions of 6 rounds each between 3 and 6 minutes long, ain't nobody got time for that, my pizza was getting cold. But the game took the time to inform me that if I left the Slasher activity, I would be marked slightly as a Bad Sport. ME. So yeah. Multiplayer games do involve people, and people are incredibly annoying, and sometimes it makes the game almost completely unenjoyable. My single-player games never do me like this.

Speaking of which, my other fave game of the moment is Assassin's Creed: Syndicate. I wasn't sure I'd like an Assassin's Creed game - I tried the fourth one and didn't think much of it - but this was about gang warfare in Victorian London, and they put a female character in it, after swearing last year they couldn't have a female option in multiplayer because the separate animations would be impossible to fit in the game. And I love her. And the main male character. We get twins, and the focus is sort of a little more on the man, Jacob - he's very much the one interested in having a gang, and his sister Evie doesn't care. But you can play it however you want, and they're both great. I was worried they'd make Evie like a stern, uptight person, especially when they said she liked science and was a bit more restrained than Jacob - not necessarily a bad thing, but those types of descriptions tend to mean (female) characters are a bit 'hands off', and hands off isn't really what you want in the main character for an action game. So I thought they make Evie stern and nagging, and Jacob smarmy and annoying. But no, they're both great. And it's really fun to play. So I'm enjoying it. But they've made a real point of the fact they've got Jack The Ripper DLC coming out - they've put it on the box, and already promised it to anyone who buys a Season Pass for all the future stuff for the game they're going to bring out. So it's probably already done, and I'm really surprised they didn't launch it for Halloween. I mean, the main game's only been out a week, but it's what I would have done. Ah well.

So yeah. Games. Halloween. I love them.

Things I have done yesterday and today:

• Went to Leeds, bought gold boots.



• Also bought back issues of the comics I've been reading lately, where I could.



• Bought Halloween chocolate from Hotel Chocolat.



• Reorganised my CD collection into my new handmade CD unit. I have a lot of CDs.



• Got up at 9.30am this morning, well before I usually do, to await for delivery of gold boots (Doc Martens) because they didn't have the size I needed in Leeds so I had to have them delivered, and I forgot mum was working a night shift last night and would want to sleep in this morning.



• Argued with mum about whether I should or shouldn't have gotten a size 7 in the gold boots - my feet are a 5 1/2 and a 6 respectively, and I normally get a 6, but yesterday when I tried on the size 6's they hurt me even when I was sitting down doing nothing. I'm pretty sure going a size bigger with Doc Martens is the done thing. Especially if your usual size hurt even when you're sitting down.



• Listened to my mum about the horrendous night shift she had last night. Dude.



• Met my service worker in town for a few hours. By coincidence, he also bought a pair of Doc Martens recently, for the same price as mine, and he had to go a size up too. Vindication.



• Got a call from the Employment Support Allowance people. I was worried, but then it turned out to be a courtesy call because I'd sent my sick note in a little late, and they were just letting me know my next payment was a bit delayed.



• Got a call from my local mental health organisation, replying to the message I left on Friday, for a brief assessment of my case, and I am now on the waiting list for a full assessment in a few weeks.

I was planning to go see Thor 2 tomorrow, before the spoilers start pouring in. But now I think I'm going to do nothing.

I'm going away tomorrow. I'm sure you will all miss my MAD POSTING SKILLS, but yes, if I'm not around, that's why. We have to get up at about 5am tomorrow to fly from Manchester at 9.30, so I probably won't have a chance to post again before I go. Also I haven't packed. Also I need to have a bath and wash my hair. So yes.

I had only a mild panic over the past couple of weeks, when I tried on one of my dresses and it was really tight, and I became convinced nothing would fit me and I didn't have time to get more with everything else going on, and I would have NOTHING TO WEAR NOTHING, I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO LEAVE THE HOTEL. But it was shortly before my period that I tried on that dress, and all my other stuff that's the same size still fits me, and I tried all my old stuff on last night - including the dress - and it all pretty much still fit, or was doable. The holiday we're going on is All Inclusive though, so I get the feeling it might be an idea to wear the tighter stuff early on in the holiday, before we all balloon up slightly.

So yes. I'm going away. The hardest thing to contemplate, which I only properly realised a few days ago, was that I wouldn't be able to play my computer games for a week, and keep up my steady progression through the story. I plan to distract myself with Crete. And when I get back, maybe those two people on the Fallout kinkmeme who promised and sort-of-promised to write me fills will have written them. MAYBE THAT.

Also I managed to make calls to both my counselling service, who wrote to me last week implying I'd missed an appointment even though I hadn't heard about one, and offering me further appointments on Mondays, to tell them I won't be able to make that for the next three weeks, due to packing, holiday, and my dad's birthday; and to the Jobcentre to ask for an appeal form. The Jobcentre call went about as smoothly as expected, they asked for a pin I remember making up a few months ago, and not using since. But I managed to make it through the rest of the security questions. The woman sounded suprised that the form I needed wasn't in the letters I got saying I'd failed the assessment, but I remember having to go for some kind of form at some point last year, so I honestly can't remember if that's how it always was or if it's a new stumbling block they've put in the way of people trying to claim benefits. In any case, the woman who's actually offering me counselling is supposed to be calling back tonight, and the woman at the Jobcentre is supposed to be sending me out an appeal form, so that should be here when I get back from holiday. Hurrah.

The day I get back will be the day before Halloween. I will have one or one-half a day to prepare for one of my favourite holidays. And then it will be November. Eek.

( Strictly )

Other things I have been doing in my life, apart from watching Emmerdale:

• Watching Coronation Street. The thing I love most about David's current court case/possible epilepsy storyline - aside from watching David freak out and worry and pass out occasionally - is that he's having massive friction with his mum over it, he's bonding with his gran because she's on his side and believed him all the way through, and his mum and gran are having massive friction over it...and his brother Nick, who lives on the street, is nowhere to be seen. I don't think I've seen David have a single scene with him since it all started. At one point someone asked Nick how David was, before they found out it might be epilepsy, and he said David was in bits over it all. That was it. He doesn't seem to care if his brother tried to kill his best friend, if his brother was about to get charged and possibly sent down for attempted murder, or if his brother has epilepsy or possibly something worse, like a brain tumour. It's kind of amazing.
  
  ( This paragraph is about Maria and a bit of Tony/Maria )
  
  
  It's Halloween tomorrow, and it's seeming more and more likely that Coronation Street aren't going to make me that 'Ghosts of dead characters haunting people on the street' episode I wanted. Sigh.



• I have been watching Hollyoaks and Hollyoaks Later, and I didn't really want to watch Hollyoaks Later because I don't even love Hollyoaks that much and it sounded like it was going to be all about footballers and possibly have a gang rape in it. But then it turned out that Mitzeee, who is a character I've heard good things about and quite liked when she was onscreen and hasn't been onscreen much lately, was going to be in it, so I tried to watch it when I could. Happily, there wasn't a gang rape, and especially since Mitzeee seemed slightly in danger of being involved, she wasn't gang raped. But oh my God, dudes. She's - so beautiful, I'm actually finding it hard to look at her sometimes. Not in the way I used to be with Michael Bluth, where I actually had to look away from the screen, but where I find myself focusing on just one part of her face, like her hair or her eyes or her teeth. She has AMAZING teeth. And I don't even care about teeth. This is her:
  
  
  
  Isn't she amazing? And she has a beautiful accent. And, unless I'm massively lowering my standards because I'm watching Hollyoaks, she can act. I think I'm a little bit in love with her. Oh my god.



• I have been to two Halloween parties in the last two days, with my nephews. They put on some quite nice dos for Halloween in my home town, and the kids seemed to be enjoying themselves. So hurrah.



• I'm kind of irritated with my dad at the moment, because he shut the car door on my back while I was trying to strap my oldest nephew into his seat tonight. After, I thought, huffing about having to take my youngest nephew over to the side of the car where his seat was, rather than just putting him in the back and leaving him there. And then he didn't even bother to strap him in. But I'm sure that irritation will pass. Ow.



• I saw the film RED/R.E.D. ( Spoilers, some pretty big )



• Other things probably, but I have to go and watch Casualty now.

I was totally going to do a proper post last night, as well as vague minor rambling on Heroes, but then chores and minor panic set in. Oh well.

This weekend was a bit of a disaster. ( General rambling )

On Monday morning, I managed to be late despite doing pretty much what I usually do on a morning, except having no corned beef so having to magic up a sandwich from other ingredients I had. Then I went the wrong way into the building and had to go back to the kitchen to put my lunch in the fridge. Then the water machine had no plastic cups, so I had to go back to the kitchen to get a mug. Then I had to go back to the kitchen to re-rinse it because I couldn't actually drink out of something with that many tea stains. Then my bag fell down my arm as I was getting water, and splashed it all over me. It was rubbish. Yesterday morning, my agency rang at five to ten in the morning to say they hadn't got my timesheet for last week (which I sent), and they needed it by ten, so could I do another one quick sharpish? People were missing and the fax was engaged, so I did not get it in by ten. Which means my wage this week will probably be delayed, and I really did need that money in my account to cover the bills. And. Yes.

But it wasn't all bad. K and I went out on Monday night, since she and J moved out of their flat last week and were leaving Nottingham this week. Except it turned out J had already gone. But it was nice. We had dinner at a pub nearby (a touch overpriced), and she taught me a great catchphrase from Dali, and then we went to see a film. Which, through a lack of other things, turned out to be The Dark Is Rising. You know what's funny? How bad that film is. Omg. ( Vague spoilers ) We sort of enjoyed it anyway. They clearly missed a trick by not putting Ace of Base on that soundtrack. Oh.

Oh, and I finished Carnivale at the weekend. Oh, Carnivale. I do love it. I don't feel entirely like I can rec it, since it's so very much my sort of thing, and I'm probably MASSIVELY BIASED. But other people seem to think it's good too. There's sadly not much fic for my OTP. In a SHOCKING TURN OF EVENTS. But I get to love it onscreen, anyway. Mostly I think everyone on my flist should watch it. I'd squee, but that would only be spoilers, and it's so much better without them. If anyone I've met would ever like to come to my flat and watch Carnivale with me, THEY ARE PERFECTLY FREE TO. Dude.

And today I am tired, tired, tired. After a week or so of not really having much to do at work, all of a sudden everyone's coming to me and saying can you do this, this is urgent. Or reminding me about things they mentioned previously but said weren't important, and saying that they are now more urgent. Given that most of those things are printing stuff off and putting them in neat piles you'd think it would be easy, but it's actually quite time consuming. The job isn't going on until Christmas, either, the girl I was filling in for is coming back next week, so how I'm expected to do everything I don't know. But will have to figure it out I guess. But tonight is Halloween! I have a large bag of sweets and stuff my mum brought for me when she came up the other week, and nothing particularly to do. Possibly the perfect night in, you might say. TV is rubbish at Halloween. But I imagine I can root out some DVDs.