girlofprey

So. My plan to not think too much about my new job so I overthink it and get worked up has, somewhat expectedly, backfired today, because I'm left scrambling to finally get everything ready. My mum is washing my work clothes - which, to be fair, I thought I might be wearing yesterday during my last shift at the Hospice - and I need to remember to have a bath tonight and do my Working Tax Credits form. I need to remember that I'm planning to get the train at 11 o'clock tomorrow, not 12 o'clock, because I want to go into Leeds and get some stuff before I go for my shift. But I have my metro pass, and I have a clean jumper I can wear, and they are expecting me, and I should be able to get a decent night's sleep since I don't have to get up particularly early.

I really enjoyed Blackpool yesterday, and I'm glad I went, but I might start missing the money soon enough. I keep thinking "I'll be earning in November", and forgetting that I won't actually be paid until pretty much December, so the only money I've got coming in between now and then is £140 from my last Jobseeker's payment. And the grand from my dad, but that's all going on the computer, so it's really as short as it's long. I'll probably have to borrow some money from my ISA, because there's some stuff I've been planning to get - like new work clothes - that I just don't think I'll have the money for otherwise. It's just a matter of remembering to do it.

But Blackpool was great. We got there for about 11 in the morning, so we figured we'd spend a little time just wandering up the front and along the piers. I knew they were doing Halloween food in Pleasure Beach, so I wanted to wait till we got there to have lunch, but I completely misjudged the distance from the Tower to Blackpool Pleasure Beach (for the first time that day - the second time leading to us nearly missing our train home), so by the time we got there we were both starving - and then we learned the fancy new process of getting in to Blackpool Pleasure Beach. When I was a kid you could just wander in and out at will, you just needed tickets to ride the rides (my dad used to buy strips from scalpers, I think - a couple of A tickets, a few more B tickets, and a bunch of C tickets). But now you have to decide what kind of experience you want before you go in, buy tickets accordingly, and then go through the gates and have them scanned. The queues were long and we had no idea what we were doing, so we ended up just going to the Something Grill right outside the park. I had a delicious bacon and cheese burger, but the food took forever to come, so despite having gotten to Blackpool early, we ended up not actually getting into the park until about 3 o'clock. For one horrible moment we thought mum was going to have to buy a £30 wristband just to get into the park, even though she was actively invested in not going on any rides, but it turned out there was a £6 option for just getting in through the gates.

It's an interesting system though, because after I paid £30 for a wristband, I felt sort of obliged to go on some rides, even though I'd sort of stopped feeling it by that point in the day. So I went on The Big One, after decades of looking at it and thinking 'I wonder what that's like, I would never have the nerve to go on it'. And it was fun, but the kind of fun that's almost on the side of unpleasant, which might mean I'm getting older. I was pretty tired and the cheeseburger hadn't quite settled yet though. Like, I was screaming and giggling with adrenaline - and the view was amazing - but it also made my neck hurt and made me feel kind of sick. I think it would probably have been more fun if I was on with a kid. Maybe next year. Anyway, we and mum wandered through the 'horror maze', then I went on the Big Dipper for old times' sake, and then the Ghost Train because Halloween. Then we were pretty much out of time, so we went out, had a 99 because it's a weird autumn that isn't that cold, and walked down the front looking at the lights. Ending in a brisk jog through Blackpool town centre to get our train. We were going to get a tram, but we couldn't understand them. Anyway, the train home was amazing, because I think it was pretty much the last train out of Blackpool all night, and it was ram-packed with people coming home with their kids. Me and mum managed to get some fold-down seats in one of the doorway compartments, and a truly unbelievable amount of furious women got on at the last minute with buggies, who'd obviously been out with their kids in Blackpool all day and now couldn't get a seat. Then a dude with a teddy bear as big as he was turned up to get on. Like, no room man. No room even for humans. But it all quietened down after Preston. Our second train back from Leeds was full of drunk people in fancy dress singing, and drunk people not in fancy dress just casually swearing all over the place, and naturally a bunch of the singing people got off at our local stop and one quite drunk guy mistook my mum and me for a couple, because I was holding her hand so we wouldn't get swept away by rowdy people. And then we got home, and the clocks went back and we got another hour. Bonus.

My new job is tomorrow and I have to remember to wash my hair tonight. I'm also having a weird mini-period. So that's fun.

So. I am going to Blackpool tomorrow, and I did not do another training shift. I ended up going to that same pumpkin patch/farm sop with my MN yesterday, and while I was out, at like 3 o'clock, my new boss called me. I didn't get to call him back till about 5, at which point he said they still didn't have my access codes, he had had assurances that they'd have them by today (but he also had assurances he'd have them by yesterday), I didn't really need to come in, but if I wanted to just to see if my access codes had arrived and to go through some stuff if they did, I could. I declined.

And before that I called the Hospice to say I wouldn't be going in for my last shift because I was going to Blackpool. I could have gone today, really, but I was still hanging on to see if this training shift would magically appear, and I asked my mum if she wanted to come with me, and she said yes, but she had a funeral to go to today. All in all, it's made me feel like I'm not the most helpful I could be this week. But you can't help other people all your life and never yourself.

I am really happy to be going and doing something for Halloween though. And going to Blackpool. We always used to go to Blackpool in the autumn when I was little - we'd spent the morning in the town, then the afternoon in Blackpool Pleasure Beach, then we'd drive home past all the illuminations in the dark. It's going to be 6 hours on the train there and back, and the last train leaves at 19:11 from Blackpool, so we won't be able to spend much time looking at the illuminations in the dark. But I'm looking forward to it. Mica Burton, who is a recent hire by the Let's Players I watch, who is Lavarr Burton/Geordie from Star Trek's daughter, and who is lovely, was talking about Halloween being her favourite holiday lately, and she - or someone - pointed out that during all the big family holidays, you have to deal with your family. You have to make sure they're okay, you usually have to buy presents, you have to put up with them and try not to fight. And I think that's it - I love weird, spooky stuff anyway, but also Halloween is just sort of an atmosphere, and you can just enjoy it, watch horror films and eat chocolate shaped like skulls, or just be amused by everyone's weird Halloween decorations, or just do none of that, if you don't want to. I really love Halloween. I'm happy to be doing something for it, for once. Usually I get to October 30th and realise I haven't planned anything, and just buy some Halloween sweets and give up. I'm happy.

But - one other thing I was planning to do for Halloween was get a new horror game for my Playstation Vita (which doesn't get very many horror games), Yomawari. They're releasing it as a physical game, rather than just making you buy it digitally, which they don't always do and does save a lot of space on the Vita's memory. But apparent there's been some screw up with the physical copies getting delivered, and neither of my local games' shops are getting them anytime soon. OF ALL THE TIMES FOR A GAME TO BE LATE. A scary game not coming out till AFTER Halloween is sort of ridiculous. And I had this last year, when I tried to buy a scary Wii U game the day before Halloween, and the shop I pre-ordered it at just seemed to have no concept that it existed. Until they finally found it. Anyway. I'm going to look for it in Game in Blackpool, and if not I'll be going to Leeds for my new job (!!) on Monday, so I can try to pick it up then. If it's even out. The fact I have a £10 Game gift card from my boss at the Hospice, as a leaving gift, doesn't hurt. But still. Having to run around so much to find it is annoying. JUST RELEASE SCARY GAMES AT HALLOWEEN, JEEBUS.

( Coronation Street, tw for cancer and suicide )

I went to Blackpool! It was lovely, even though the weather was changeable enough to make it difficult. The first night we were there it was just throwing it down all night. On Saturday it started out dry at least, then the sun came out and I was wondering around without a coat for a bit. Then there was a thunderstorm. It was funny actually, mum and I were in a cafe on a pier - which was already rocking because of the water underneath - just eating lunch, and then I noticed one of the girls from behind the counter asking if any of the other workers minded if she borrowed a jumper, and putting it over her head before she ran outside. Then we just heard the rain, sheeting down on the roof and outside. People started running in to take cover. Then the thunder started rolling. It was like being on the Ark. Like we were the last people in the world safe from the rain. One poor woman ran in with her kid, completely drenched, and told whoever she was meeting in the cafe that they'd been at the top of the big wheel when it started coming down. It let up enough that mum and I managed to leave, and we were planning to go to the Sealife centre just down the road anyway. When we came out it was dry again, and it was just sort of drizzling on and off for the rest of the night. It got cold though. The next day it was sunny in the morning, and then just started raining and showering for the last few hours we were there. There was a train at 2 and a train at 4, but we were both knackered and the weather was terrible, so we ended up going at 2. Then on the way home there was a rainbow over the Pennines. British weather, eh?

So it was a little difficult, but it was lovely, and I glad we went. We stayed in a great B&B on the North shore, so it was really quiet, but within walking distance of everything. On Saturday we went up the Tower, which I'd never been to before. We watched the dancers in the ballroom, including one young couple who must have been professionals and were amazing, had a drink in the cafe looking out over the sea (ocean?), where I had the finest traybake I've ever had in my life. I'm not sure any other will ever compare to it. Then we went to the top of the Tower - we had to have a 4D Experience on the way, but I did learn some interesting things, like that there are more B&B and hotel beds in Blackpool than in all of Portugal. Weird. The views from the top were lovely, as the sun was out at that point, and I did do the Skywalk, but I think the effect was spoiled a bit by the scaffolding a few stories below us. Anyway. Then we went and looked round the Winter Gardens, where mum said she'd gone back in the 60s, and walked down to the Central Pier and had lunch. Thunderstorm, and then the Sealife Centre, which was lovely, but they did have a weird attitude to their sharks. Telling you all about how sharks are endangered and not to buy products made from sharks one minute, and then playing Jaws-style music in the tunnel and selling shark's teeth in the shop the next. Didn't know what to make of that. But it was nice to see the fish.

Then mum and I walked down to the south pier and Pleasure Beach, but we were pretty knackered at that point and possibly about to do our feet an injury, so we just had dinner and went back to a bar near out B&B on the tram. I tried a Strawberry Daiquiri, finally, which was lovely, but as it was made in a Wetherspoons from what was apparently a pre-made mixer, I suspect it still wasn't the genuine article. Anyway. The next day we were both tired and it kept raining, so we just walked the opposite way up the North shore, came up from the slipway and walked to the end of the illuminations - all the way to Bispham station - then walked back, had some lunch and went for the train. Mum was talking about staying till the 4 o'clock train, but I don't know what else we would have done there. We were both tired, our feet were killing us, I didn't want to walk back into town anyway, and it was raining. And it had forecasted thundery hailstorms for later on. So we came back. And that was our weekend in Blackpool. It was grand.

I also went into Wakefield last week to try to get my netbook sorted out, or get some tips on fixing it. I don't think I ever posted about it, but I went to jekesta's on the 4th and took my netbook with me, and it connected to her wireless internet immediately. In Wakefield, in the shop where I bought it, it also connected to their internet immediately. So the guy said it couldn't really be the computer, or the software, because it was staying connected and loading webpages. He said it must be our router, somehow, even though all our other computers can connect through it. There might be something I can do with changing the internet options on the netbook, apparently, but he couldn't do anything there because I wasn't on my dad's network. So his only advice was to call our internet provider and talk to them about it. I'm not looking forward to that really. But it's the only thing being suggested at the moment. And if they can't help, the guy said I could bring it back and send it to them for a service, and he'd make sure it went even though there was nothing to say it was a problem with the machine itself, but he wasn't sure there'd be anything to fix, you know? Sigh. It's a conundrum, this netbook. But I may as well keep at it. One thing he did say was that registering my warranty online, like I was being prompted to do at jekesta's, wasn't an issue, and I'd have a warranty whether I did that or not, which was the only thing I was freaking out about. So at least that's not such an issue.

Other than that I'm mostly watching Coronation Street and replaying Oblivion. I've been replaying a lot of my old RPGs lately, but Oblivion's a slightly more serious one because I wasn't really that bothered about it when it came out. I bought it in 2011, when I finally got a laptop that could cope with it, and I kind of rushed through it so I'd be all caught up when Skyrim came out. And the Empire/Cyrodiil was always my least favourite part of the Elder Scrolls world. But now I'm going through it properly and have thought a bit more about my character and class, I'm enjoying it a lot more. The number one thing that still irks me though is that Foxglove Nectar doesn't have the Damage Health effect. Foxglove is like one the deadliest plants in the world. Worse than Nightshade, I think. It should definitely be a poison, I SHOULD BE ABLE TO MAKE THE BEST POISONS EVER WITH IT. Bethesda!

Also I bought Scribblenauts Unlimited because it was £3.74 on Steam. Fun!

Been on a major DVD kick over lately. Mostly due to getting my first new DVDs in months. Which I still sort of haven't paid for yet. But rather than toss them on one side, as is so often my instinct, I actually watched them this time. All of them.

( Blackpool )


( The Mighty Boosh )

I wish there were more of both, but there isn't. Back to work.

Today I have to:

• Finish Wide Sargasso Sea (which is good)


• Read 2 articles on creolisation/Jane Eyre/orientalism/etc


• Watch Life on Mars


• Sleep. Properly this time.

But when all this is done, in the next week I have to:

• Read Great Expectations. All 500 pages.


• Do the seminar worksheet on Great Expectations


• Read La Morte D'Arthur, and prepare a short presentation on it.


• Write a monologue for a Real Person that I'll probably have to read out in a seminar on Friday.


• Probably read The Great Gatsby for the book club.


• Probably go see a film from Cuban Season at the Broadway


• Probably not sleep at all, no.

On the whole, I prefer the bit with the DVDs.