girlofprey

I was going to make a post last night about how I had my period, but it was the kind of period where you didn't feel the pain very often but you just felt sort of lightheaded and tired all the time, which kind of sucked. Then the pain hit, and I couldn't write anything. Well, I might have been able to keysmash, but there wouldn't have been the fine detail in it that I wanted in my point. So I have my period. And I'm planning to spend most of today in my pyjamas and a blanket. However, I'm going away on Friday, so I'd rather get it now than, say, Friday. Well done body.

In fannish terms I am still trying to get Dragon Age Origins finished again so I have a better save to import. It's slightly annoying because I'm really ready to start on one of the post-game DLCs or Dragon Age 2, but I'm really not looking forward to the end boss fight again. Or all the many boss fights between here and the end. But still. Progress is being made. I also watched an entire Let's Play of Silent Hill Homecoming, and I'm doing actually super well about not just explaining how terrible and tragic Alex Shepherd's life is all the time. Literally all the time. You can thank me whenever. Unfortunately Alex Shepherd's life is also incredibly depressing, so I can't really dwell on it too much, without having to then immediately think about something happier. Alistair from Dragon Age is almost always a fairly sunny distraction though, so I've somewhat lucked out. What I'm essentially trying to say is that in both my video game loves of the moment, there's a bit of a push-pull scenario going on.

Also, did anyone watch The Fall on Monday night? It's a serial drama about a serial killer, which is pretty gruesome, and it stars Gillian Anderson, which is pretty great. But it also seems to be a reunion of every Irish character that was ever on Hollyoaks. Brendan Brady, Cheryl Brady, and I'm pretty sure Lynsey are all there. Also an Irish nurse from Holby City. It's set in Belfast so I guess they're gathering every Irish actor they can muster. Also it is genuinely pretty good. But I am kind of puzzled that they had Brendan Brady, and didn't use him as the detective who puts his coat on at a crime scene, and Gillian Anderson is so enthralled she stops a car and wanders into said crime scene insisting on being introduced. I mean, the detective who did that is fine. But if you wanted people to understand instant magic I don't know why you wouldn't use Brendan Brady. Maybe he has more to do in future episodes. Hmm.

Hello. I'm still mostly playing Oblivion. Which is all going fine and lovely, except that it's kind of pissing me off, because it seems really up and down with the hardness of the quests it gives you. Even in a linear sort of storyline, like the series of quests you need to do to get a better rank in a guild. It's like, one will be going and fighting a few monsters, then the next one will be going and fighting some easy person, and then the next one will be going and fighting a monster you have no hope of ever beating, and then if you do, fighting 10 more of them. And then if you manage that, you get a quest which is basically going and talking to someone. It makes it very difficult to judge how quickly you're going to be able to rank up. But unpredictability is one of the things I like about the game, I suppose. And it's better than them all being ridiculously hard, I guess. And they don't seem to mind how long you take to do them. And I'm sure this is quite boring for anyone who isn't playing the game, so I'll stop now.

I have also just joined the game's assassins guild type of place though. Which I don't normally go for in role-playing games, despite my general love of assassins. But the one in Oblivion seems kind of creepy and awesome so far, so I am looking forward to doing a bit more of that.

Also I did trade in my rubbish old horse for a fancy new one. I feel some guilt over that, but my new horse is basically the fastest type and kind of awesome, so I also feel brilliant about it.

Anyway. Oblivion talk over. In other news, I did manage to catch up on the Resident Evil walkthroughs I wanted to. It turns out there's still a bunch more, and probably a lot more characterisation stuff and story stuff I haven't caught up on, but I'm probably not going to, and apparently it's not all that consistent with each other anyway, so I've seen all of the stuff I really wanted to. Which I am fine with. Hurrah. I still haven't really been watching much else, although I do want to catch up with Hollyoaks. The problem is, what I'd really like to see, at least, is last week's episodes and this week's episodes. Which is two full omnibuses. And I'd ideally want to see them before the new episode on Monday. And you know, I like Hollyoaks at the moment, but five hours worth in one, maybe two days, still seems like a stretch. But hmm. Perhaps I can manage it. Or a bit of it at least.

And the other, non-fannish things I need to do, are make a decision about a necklace that was made for me, whether I want any changes doing to it before I finally pay for it and get it sent out to me; have a look at a job opportunity my employment coach woman has sent me, and possibly apply for it; and get ready for the employment service appointment I have this week. I don't have my jewellery course, as it's half-term. Although that reminds me that it's half-term this week, so my nephews are probably going to be over at our house for a bit longer than usual this week. Hmm. Oh well. I'm sure it'll be fine. And then next week it'll be Halloween! Or nearly. Gosh. Time flies. And so on.

Speaking of the jewellery course though, I learned to solder this week! Sticking one piece of metal to another. It was quite reliant on using the mini-blowtorch, and you have to do things like make sure the metal is sitting right against the other bit of metal, with no gaps. I was quite nervous about it, but I tried it, and I totally managed it. Sadly, I put the bit of metal in my bag after class and it got a bit squashed. But on the bright side, the metal got bent, but the two pieces that were stuck together didn't come apart. It's quite cool, soldering. Apparently when we go back to the class after half-term we'll be moving more onto the 'designing and making pieces' bit of the course. But I'm quite looking forward to it. Hurrah.

Oh, also, I watched the pilot episode of Once Upon A Time. It was quite good, some bits were a bit odd, but I enjoyed it. I had probably heard about it before, but the fact that they're advertising it as "From the writers of Lost" makes me a bit nervous. But I liked quite a lot of it, so I will probably give it a go. Only Grimm to try out when it begins now. And maybe watch those Secret Circle episodes I've got recorded on the Sky box at some point. Um. Perhaps.

Some things:

• I accidentally finished Batman: Arkham Asylum, once again while the game was telling me I still had about 20% to complete. I assume it means challenges and stuff? Except that I've done quite a few of those. But anyway. At least the city is safe. Now I have moved on more fully to Kane and Lynch. You may not remember me talking about it before, but rest assured, starting to use the 'Aim' button when firing at people really did help. I was still rubbish at it. But it did help. Especially when I put it on Easy mode. I am enjoying it though. Ironically, I managed to get through a bit of the story, got to one really hard bit and had to go look it up on the internet and how to solve it. It turned out I was doing the right thing, I just had to do it more. But a comment on the cheat forum thing said that after that, though, the game got much harder. And then I went on to complete about three more chapters, last night.
  
  I still hope, someday, to learn the difference between crouching and throwing a grenade though.



• ( Discussion of a domestic rape storyline in a soap again )



• ( Discussion of a hypothetical eating disorder storyline in a soap )



• Priti is incredible



• Which reminds me of another thing I kind of wanted to talk about, a sort of race issue in - well visual media mostly I guess - which I have been thinking of as Inexplicably White People. I've talked before about the sheer oddness of Snowflakes (the above webcomic) being set in the Andes, mostly it seems so that the kids' parents can be explorers and they can discover weird ruins and stuff...and yet all of the kids are white, and so are the nuns, and as far as I recall, so is everyone they ever meet outside of the orphanage. In the past week or so, it's been happening in Kane and Lynch as well. ( Kane and Lynch storyline spoilers )
  
  
  Which is just plain weird, frankly.



• And back to the soaps, Hollyoaks remains probably the best one to be watching at the moment, which is saying something. To recap, Brendan Brady, the local closeted, psychotic and much-loved gay gangster, has been set up and jailed thanks to the local serial killer. The fans are up in arms about it - prompting the serial killer (aka George from Drop The Dead Donkey) to send them a message.
  
  Eeeeee.

People started putting up the first episode of The Secret Circle earlier this week. This is difficult, because I'm currently downloading NTSF: SD: SUV and Death Valley every week, and in some ways it's not that bad, because NTSF: SD: SUV episodes are only 10 minutes long so they're only about 100MB, and Death Valley episodes are only half an hour long, but it still all adds up. And I don't know if downloading another whole episode a week is something our download limit can take - I don't even know what our download limit is. My dad has apparently increased it and changed internet providers since the days when I used it up watching videos on 4od and Youtube, so I don't even know if we have a download limit, or if we just have to pay more if we go over it or something. Which is a little frustrating.

The annoying thing is that I was really deliberately not downloading things, because I knew there were three shows I wanted to try out and possibly watch regularly in the autumn, and even that seemed like a stretch. But I decided to start watching NTSF and Death Valley to sort of get into the habit of downloading again, to sort of test out the download limit a bit, and because they looked like they might be funny/have good actors in. And I think somewhere in my head I was thinking, "oh, they're just little comedy shows, they probably won't last very long, and be over by the time the other shows start". I think because I have forgotten how American TV works. Hmph.

But in any case, it turns out the episode of The Secret Circle that's about at the moment is a pre-air pilot, so it looks like the show's not really started yet. So I have another few weeks to decide what to do about my downloading habits. Woo hoo!

In other news, the soaps are kind of shit at the moment. Eastenders have apparently managed to cock-up the only plot I am interested in, by - as far as I can tell - having Michael doing everything he's doing not because he's fucked up about his mum killing himself when he was six and wanting revenge on his dad for it, but just because he wants his dad to pay some attention to him. This is apparently worth ruining his dad's life, risking his brother's life, and bullying a woman into helping him ruin his dad's life over. And, mysteriously, apparently a reasoning that the people on Digital Spy find much more understandable and sympathetic than merely still being messed up over his mum. So, well done there Eastenders. In Emmerdale I can barely care about the storylines from one day to the next, I do not care about Jai and Charity, or Declan being a dick, or the never-ending plot of Watching. Aaron. Be. Sad. Never. Be. Gay. Or. You'll. Just. Be. Sad. People. Sometimes Nicola's in it, or Val, and that's lovely, but oh my god the rest. And in Coronation Street, Tracy's back, and apparently they want us to start being sympathetic to her now. I never really liked Kylie that much, but I do think they've sort of ruined whatever character she did have by making her horrible but also not to blame for it all at once. And they're building up to a really horrible plot with one female character, and it's partly by having her act really weirdly and stabbing her friend in the back (again). Which is kind of rubbish.

The only soap doing anything even vaguely interesting at the moment is Hollyoaks, and that's only really if they actually step things up in their Silas plot, now that they've had something big happen because of it. There are a lot of things I am imagining about the Silas plot which make me very excited about it, but if it just goes on and on as it has been doing already then oh my god. It's apparently going to last till Christmas anyway, and there are a lot of things apparently happening up to and around then that could make it really interesting. But if they don't do them, then arggggghhhhhhhh. Also, more Seth please. Thank you.

Anyway. That's the end of my rant. I spent most of my day today avoiding flooded roads and poking around in bushes looking for the many balls my nephew managed to lose. I was also going to have a rant at one point about how annoying it is when there are people who do something you love, but then they become so successful at it, that they stop actually doing the thing you loved in the first place. My main examples were going to be the Hark! A Vagrant writer doing a book, so not doing as many comics while she was doing it, but she's finished writing it now and is back to doing comics. And besides that, it was going to be the woman who writes Welovehollyoaks.com, who first of all started going to events with the cast and started posting interviews with them, instead of her recaps (which I liked better), and THEN actually - on the strength of her blog - got a job with E4, meaning she didn't have a chance to do her blog as much as she used to. But she's got other people helping out now, and they've started putting up posts in the last few days, some of which are really good, so it's not so bad anymore. And the other one was going to be Allie Brosh, who does Hyperbole And A Half, getting a book deal, and not having done a post since then. But it turns out that that's more to do with finding doing the blog really stressful at the moment than actually having to spend a lot of time writing her book, so that doesn't really count either. So so much for that post. I do think it's lovely, by the way, when people who do good things become successful because of the things they do. And it's really nice for them, of course. It's just also sometimes slightly maddening. That's all.

Rah. In other news, last night I ended up watching parts 1 and 2 of a BBC programme about the Regency. I had actual thoughts at the time about kings and queens, and how it's kind of a rubbish system but sometimes really interesting culturally. But most of the thoughts I have been left with are that I really like Regency suits, especially on women. And that I really, really liked the soundtrack. But I get the feeling, somehow, that the BBC won't be releasing that for purchase. Hmph.

I LOVE NSTF: SD: SUV::. It's not brilliant, but I do kind of love it. Two episodes ago they had ( guest actor spoiler ) on the show. In the last episode, they had ( guest actor spoiler )! Trent Hauser gets the best enemies. No lie.

Anyway. I have only recently returned from Leeds, where I spent £30 on jewellery today. Which I don't really regret. But I am going to have to start saving up shortly, because it's Connotations in about a month. For which I will need £150, if memory serves me correctly. Plus train fare. Plus money for drinks. Yes. So yes. I'm planning for today to be my last spending blow-out for a little while.

But I'm quite happy today anyway, because last night I was checking the requirements for the upcoming Elder Scrolls game Skyrim, and I was on the same site I was on a few months ago, which told me again that my graphics system probably wouldn't be good enough to support the game, although everything else was fine. But then I went on another site, which was basically answering people's specific questions about whether or not their computers would run the game, and they said my graphics system WOULD be good enough for it! It's all just speculation of course, until the game comes out (in November), but it's closer to the release, and that's more hopeful at least. I probably wouldn't be worrying so much, but it's an Elder Scrolls game, which I've been playing since highschool probably, so I am excited. And the nice thing is that even if the PC version won't work on my laptop, I can always now get the PS3 version - but for me the Elder Scrolls games will always be PC games more than anything. I don't know, maybe they're much better on the PS3 and Xbox. But on the PC is how I'm used to playing them, and how I would like to play the new one, so if it will work on my laptop, that would make me very happy. Hurrah.

Also, last night I watched the end of Hollyoaks Later, and I love Seth more than ever now, and have a lot more love for Warren (the nutcase that set him up), and I love Mitzeee, as usual. And I also watched Totally Tom, which is a pilot for a new sketch show on E4. It's a bit dark, but I thought it was quite funny as well. I hope it gets a series. Although I haven't watched many other new comedy programmes lately, so I have no idea how it compares to other stuff that's out there.

Also, I completely missed the first rugby match of my team in the world cup yesterday, due to completely forgetting it was on until sometime late in the evening. I hear that we lost though. Bugger.

So, I sort of accidentally finished InFamous. In fairness, the last of the story missions all had names like 'End Of The Road' and 'The Truth', but when I saved my games and looked back at them they had a statistic for how much of the game you'd completed, and after the second to last mission it said I'd only completed about 80% of the game. I'm guessing that's because there's still stuff I haven't completed, and I was doing a Good playthrough, so there's a lot of evil stuff I haven't done. I don't know. But anyway, I've done it. Sadly though, I wanted to actually look at what people were saying on the internet about it, but there's a second game, and I don't want to spoiler myself for it. I sort of have anyway, looking up a couple of things, but happily I found two conflicting sets of spoilers, so I still don't know what actually happens. Unhappily though, the second game must be new out, because it costs about £40, and I just spent quite a lot of time playing the first one, so I don't really feel like diving into a new game right away. So I'm still spoilerable. But I'll just have to be strong. And get and play it eventually.

I did enjoy it though. It took a turn for the super-angsty, which was kind of a shame, because I was really enjoying playing it as just a "random guy gets superpowers, fights bad guys" sort of game. I have nothing against angsty stuff, but sometimes I do just want something straightforward and adventure-y. And it's kind of annoying when you think you're playing/watching/reading one of those, and then it turns out you aren't. It was still good though, I did enjoy it. And I'm looking forward to playing the second game at some point.

Anyway. Another thing that has happened in my less than brilliant week is that I got my appeal papers from the DWP last week, complete with an explanation of why they didn't award me ESA in the first place and 'respectfully requesting' that the judge at the tribunal confirms this decision. And this week I got a letter from the Tribunals Service saying the case had been passed to them, and sending me a form to fill in. I have to do it and send it back within 14 days or they may assume I don't want to go ahead with my appeal, but before I do that I have to decide whether or not I want to actually appear at my appeal hearing. And I don't know. Apparently, people who appear at their hearing tend to do better than people who don't. But the fact is I'm not really expecting to be awarded it anyway, so I don't know if it'll make much difference. And the idea of actually going to the hearing, and having people question me about my illness and why I think it means I can't work doesn't exactly thrill me. But it might take longer if I say I actually want to appear, rather than them just deciding it without me, which would at least mean I got ESA payments for longer. And I got another letter with the form saying that the Tribunals Service I was being referred to was very busy at the moment, and I probably wouldn't get a hearing before next February, so I'd have lots of time to prepare. But I don't know. I probably will decide to appear. I'm just not really looking forward to it, or to telling them I want to do it. But I have to send the form off within the next week or two, regardless.

Oh, and I have been watching the soaps. Apparently, Declan on Emmerdale represses his feelings about people he loves when he finds things really difficult with them. I am in no way writing this into my Nathan/Declan pairing. No. But it would be an awesome time for Nathan to come back, and for them to decide they love each other, or at least are willing to put up with each other so they can be near each other, because it seems like Declan needs SOMEONE around. And on Coronation Street, I'm still not a big fan of David and Kylie as a pairing. But the sight of David standing in the rain, waiting for his wife to let him back into the house she'd locked him out of, and casually lying to her in order to get back in so he can explain things to her, was certainly very very welcome. I'm still finding it hard to like Kylie. It seems like she's had a hard life, but I just struggle to see anything NICE about her. And the writers, or someone, claims she's just 'incapable of being nice or friendly', but I don't really buy that, because she fakes it pretty well sometimes. I know that's not the same thing, but if she knows how to fake it, why can't she just make herself do it? Until she either decides no, she can't stand doing that long term, or until people start being nicer to her and she doesn't have to, or until it gets easier and she can just do it without it being so much of an effort? I don't know. At best, I just see her as being like a child. And that makes me think it's not really a great idea for her and David to get Max back. I already didn't think that was a great idea after the episode where they really went on about how much they wanted Max back, and then had a conversation where David said he couldn't see himself growing old, and just wanted to have adventures and die young, and Kylie said she wanted to come along too. Which doesn't really fit with the stable parents they apparently want to be. But whatever. I failed to see the episode where she blackmailed Audrey though, so possibly I have missed some of her characterisation, or am imagining it as being worse than it was. I don't know.

I have not been watching Hollyoaks lately though, since last Friday anyway. But I probably should, because it's Hollyoaks Later next week. Aaah!

Yesterday I woke up to pretty massive period pains, and despite getting up pretty late (3-ish), I ended up going to lie down again for a while because curling up on the couch made stomach feel like it was stabbing me, and standing up made me feel hot and like I was going to throw up. Which I did not want to do, having just taken a painkiller.

But eventually I felt much better, and last night I was rewarded with Inspector George Gently, Sugartown, and new Dragon's Den. Inspector George Gently was supposed to be about the hippie movement in England in the 60s, and Gently and Bacchus finding themselves in the middle of a social and sexual revolution. I had high hopes for the episode, and it did not disappoint. I don't really understand the lack of fandom for George Gently. One of them's a Professional, and I've heard loads of people talk about how much they love Lee Ingleby. But anyway. Whatever. The episode also featured someone who is currently in Hollyoaks, which was quite pleasant as well. Hurrah.

They didn't really explain who the new person was on Dragon's Den. Only after rewatching it a couple of times did I hear that she got rich through the haulage industry. She has weird hair and weird make-up and weird clothes/shoulder pads. But sometimes she was really lovely, and sometimes she got really angry, and she has quite a lovely gravelly voice. So I quite like her. Also I LOVE DEBORAH MEADEN. That is all.

Today turned out to not be a very much better day. Our dog is quite old now and a bit less in control of himself than he used to be, and after spending a while downstairs having a sandwich and whatever, I went to go out and found that he'd pooed all over the garage. Including one bit right between a pair of my trainers, though not on them, so I guess I was lucky in a way. Then I went out to the shop, and I had some music in, and there were about three or four young women walking the opposite way to me across the street with their kids, and I heard one of them shouting, and I turned round to look, and she was shouting at one of her kids. Pretty nastily really. But I was obviously looking for a moment too long, because she noticed me, and started shouting something about how she was shouting at her kids, did I have something I wanted to say about it? I still had my music in, so I couldn't really hear her, so I just looked away and kept walking, and that was that really. But it wasn't very pleasant. Then I went home, messed about in my bedroom for a while, my dad came home and cleared up the garage (I would have liked to clear it up for him in some ways, but I really just wasn't touching that), and then later on was watching TV, and the dog started squeaking again, so I went to let him out, and found that in the garage once again our cat had left a dead animal for us. Except not so much the outside of that animal. My dad ended up clearing up that one too. Poor dad.

But after and in between all of that, I did get the usual Monday/Friday night soap marathon. Hollyoaks, Emmerdale, Coronation Street, Eastenders, Coronation Street. Phew.

Hollyoaks was quite good, plenty of Ste/Brendan, but I might well have enjoyed it more if I hadn't, just before watching it, read a Ste/Brendan fic that I thought was just a fic, but I eventually realised was the events of the episode from Ste's point of view, which the writer had obviously seen on E4 on Friday. And didn't warn for spoilers for it, or anything. It was still good though.

( Emmerdale )

Phew. And now ( Coronation Street )

And then there was Eastenders. The Michael/Anthony corruption storyline isn't being as brilliant as I'd hoped, but there's still a little bit every episode where Anthony will specifically say something either acknowledging Michael or trying to get Michael to agree with him, and Michael largely ignores him, but sometimes he'll stick up for Anthony or look over when something Anthony has done has gone right, and smile a little bit. So I'm still watching it. I get the feeling that it might become a bigger thing later on, when the storyline progresses a bit. I have to say though, Michael isn't doing too great at manipulative incest at the moment, but he is doing pretty well at being a nutcase. Honestly. He's like the Joker. He's not as good as the Joker. But you get the idea. For a soap. It's all little twitches and funny smiles. He's very good at it. Kind of a jerk, a lot of the time, but pretty good at it all the same.

Also, I found myself slightly shipping Masood/Yusuf. Now that Yusuf is all canonically acting a bit creepy, and their tension has become slightly less about being weird around Zainab, and more about shooting each other heated looks across tables and making catty remarks at each other. I'm not interested in them, but like I say, I like it better them just hating each other than being weird with Zainab. So hurrah. I guess.

And now it's really hot, so I'm going to go change, possibly.

I went to Wakefield and Leeds today, and I bought some earrings and some nail polish. And I tried on some perfume from Lush. It's very nice, but it turns out for a proper bottle of Lush perfume it costs about £32. And even the atomiser costs £15. Also, Jon Burgerman has designed a new tin for Lush which has bath bombs in it. This also costs about £30. Hhrrrghksjdfkdsj.

Anyway. Other things I have done as well as watch Harry Potter:

• Watched the last episodes of Case Histories. Sniff. ( Vague character spoilers that no-one will probably care about )



• Watched the first two episodes of Single-Handed. Sometimes when I am busy loving Jack Driscoll, I forget how genuinely really bleak Single-Handed is. It reminded me in these episodes. And now they have another evil ex-Garda come in to make the community more awful and make Jack Driscoll's life hell. And this one doesn't even love him, like his father. Jack's life is truly awful.

I've been thinking a bit about my fandoms lately. Especially with Connotations coming up and everything. At the moment, they mostly seem to be soaps, webcomics, and weird British/UK detective shows. And films, sometimes. I don't know what the detective shows thing is at the moment, possibly just the fact I've been watching a lot this spring. Most of them don't even have an obvious pairing. At the moment, my head is like a weird little detective agency. Filled with very competent people, who will get the job done, but might just fuck everything up and fuck their own lives up while doing it. Still, at least they have EACH OTHER. Which is often more than they have on their own shows.

Maybe I should focus on Danny Phantom, which has actual fic, and only has ghost, murder and underage issues.

Although I did watch Coronation Street tonight. They made Ken's gay grandson a calculating conman, and then GOT RID OF HIM. I know it's good to have positive gay portrayals on TV, but given that a lot of soaps now have gay and lesbian characters, I'm quite ready to see something outside the general gay and lesbian characters they have. Like villains. Hollyoaks has had a gay gangster for ages, and I know it's Hollyoaks, but they're doing quite well with it. Anyway. But no. He's gone now. Also, Gail got all jealous over people trying to date Nick again (I think they have to stop doing that, at some point. Or make it canon). And Gary is going crazy, and Izzy has to put up with it. Oh well.

Also, I watched a bit of Emmerdale last night and tonight, and I feel like I might be able to start watching it again. Except, as well as pairings which are just sort of starting out and then someone dies, one of the most annoying things for me is watching one half of one of my OTPs just be swanning around without the other one. I think that's half the reason I still go on about Toby De Silva and Toby/Jordan sometimes - because I watch Casualty sometimes nowadays, and Jordan is STILL THERE, being really clipped and brisk and slightly short with his colleagues, and then maybe finding out he was wrong and having to go apologise to them, and running the department on his own no matter what problems arise. And it's so easy to just imagine how much better things would be if he had Toby just quietly standing next to him, watching him, and when he'd had an argument with someone smoothing things over, even if just with his presence. And doing spare paperwork, and being lovely with the patients. And Jordan would have someone supporting him, and someone to take care of, and someone to shout at sometimes eventually leading to a heartfelt apology while Toby didn't look at him. And it just feels very much like it would improve his life. I once had a plotbunny, when all the actors and/or staff were leaving Casualty, about Toby coming back for some reason and finding Jordan running the department literally single-handed, except for maybe the paramedics bringing patients in, and helping to run it with him. That was a lovely plotbunny.

Anyway. My point is that it's weird watching Declan wander around and get on with his life when Nathan isn't there. And how much EASIER his life would be if he had Nathan to mock and argue with, and then jump in to help maybe when Nathan did something TRULY ridiculous. However, Declan's awful wife and not that brilliant daughter are apparently leaving soon. Maybe that will make things easier. Mostly I want Carl to have pushy, not-explaining-the-whole-truth arguments with Aaron about murder, and how at least Aaron had a good reason. But I don't think Emmerdale is going to give me that somehow. Hmph.

I'm sorry if any of this is coming out weird. I didn't get much sleep last night, and now my head and eyes hurt. I am TYPING THROUGH THE PAIN.

I went into Wakefield today, after an appointment with my employment coach woman, and I found an item that's almost as amazing as the swordgun - the knuckleduster-bag. I tried one, and the rings genuinely do make it easier to hold the bag, and also, to punch someone in the face. One day, my friends, I plan to amass a whole arsenal of these. I will be so multi-functional it hurts. Someone else.

Anyway. I am still around, I've just been distracted by appointments and things, and catching up on TV. I've caught up with Scott and Bailey and Horrible Histories and sort of with the Apprentice, but not really much else. Thanks to 4 On Demand, I'm all caught up with Hollyoaks though. And I kind of want to punch Barry M in the face. Sadly, that isn't possible. But still. I'm sure no-one on my flist cares about Hollyoaks, but even so - welovehollyoaks.com posited a while back that a new female character Liberty was actually a robot, and it always seemed pretty plausible, but I have to say after last week, I don't think it's even in doubt. Also, if she's a killing machine, it makes her friendship with (unknown to her) teenage murderess Theresa even more understandable. Anyway. I'm going to stop talking about Hollyoaks now.

I've also been pretty distracted lately by getting into X-Men: First Class a little bit. I'm not exactly proud of this. And I've also managed to fall into the trap I usually do of shipping a little-known pairing and getting into a bunch of kink memes. However, I've decided to be a grown-up about it this time instead of whining about it. But. Hmph.

Today I was planning to go to the cinema while I was in Wakefield, and I was pretty much planning to go see X-Men First Class again. I had a bit of a dilemma about it, because on the one hand I wouldn't mind watching it to get some characterisations a bit more sorted in my head and watch Kevin Bacon again, but on the other hand I don't really want to give any more money to a really quite racist and quite sexist film. But in the end I decided to cave. But I was foiled anyway, because it doesn't seem to be on anymore. Making way for the new blockbusters, like Transformers and Green Lantern and stuff. I've managed to find some other times it's on at a local cinema though, so I'll probably go see it again then. I also want to go see Bad Teacher, which stars Cameron Diaz, and which at first look I assumed would be about a guy being a bad teacher and trying to get with Cameron Diaz, or him trying to get with Cameron Diaz who's a bad teacher. But apparently no, it's about Cameron Diaz, being a bad teacher and kind of a loser. In shades! And!! I then found out that her co-star is Lucy Punch! <3<3<3 So. I'm up for that at some point. Just not really today, especially when the next showing was an hour after I got to the cinema. I also kind of want to see The Green Lantern, partly because my dad is really into the Green Lantern and wanted to go see it with me before he started hearing all the bad reviews for it, so I got kind of psyched up to want to go see it, and partly because having heard all the bad reviews for it, I kind of want to see if it really is that bad. I've heard some reports to the contrary. But anyway. I don't really want to go see it enough to go immediately, or (again) wait an hour until it was on after I got to the cinema, or pay 3D prices to go see it. But possibly. At some point.

If anyone's interested, the pairing I like (or am interested in) from X-Men First Class is Charles/Shaw. Which is a tricky one because [sort of spoilers], and [other spoilers], and on the kink meme, even the fics that get written about Charles/Shaw tend to either start with Charles/Erik, end with Charles/Erik, or be a mere plotpoint in a larger Charles/Erik story. But I don't care. Mostly I've been having a lot of Charles/Shaw plotbunnies along the lines of a Labyrinth AU, and they make me quite happy. Even though most of them I tend to get for situations after the events of the plot/film (of Labyrinth), which feels like a new length to go to for one of my little pairings, even for me. Still. I quite like them anyway. Also, Shaw just works incredibly well as the Goblin King, and that's just a fact. Fact.

I have decided to do a Hollyoaks picspam. I'm genuinely not trying to convert anyone to Hollyoaks, I'm just really enjoying it at the moment and I don't really know anywhere I can go and talk about it. And the events of the past few days are slightly too brilliant to go unremarked upon. And, if there's one thing you can rely on Hollyoaks for, it's generally to be quite pretty. So picspam it is, underneath the cut.

( Hollyoaks Leanne, Texas and Doug picspam )