girlofprey

I was going to make a post last night about how I had my period, but it was the kind of period where you didn't feel the pain very often but you just felt sort of lightheaded and tired all the time, which kind of sucked. Then the pain hit, and I couldn't write anything. Well, I might have been able to keysmash, but there wouldn't have been the fine detail in it that I wanted in my point. So I have my period. And I'm planning to spend most of today in my pyjamas and a blanket. However, I'm going away on Friday, so I'd rather get it now than, say, Friday. Well done body.

In fannish terms I am still trying to get Dragon Age Origins finished again so I have a better save to import. It's slightly annoying because I'm really ready to start on one of the post-game DLCs or Dragon Age 2, but I'm really not looking forward to the end boss fight again. Or all the many boss fights between here and the end. But still. Progress is being made. I also watched an entire Let's Play of Silent Hill Homecoming, and I'm doing actually super well about not just explaining how terrible and tragic Alex Shepherd's life is all the time. Literally all the time. You can thank me whenever. Unfortunately Alex Shepherd's life is also incredibly depressing, so I can't really dwell on it too much, without having to then immediately think about something happier. Alistair from Dragon Age is almost always a fairly sunny distraction though, so I've somewhat lucked out. What I'm essentially trying to say is that in both my video game loves of the moment, there's a bit of a push-pull scenario going on.

Also, did anyone watch The Fall on Monday night? It's a serial drama about a serial killer, which is pretty gruesome, and it stars Gillian Anderson, which is pretty great. But it also seems to be a reunion of every Irish character that was ever on Hollyoaks. Brendan Brady, Cheryl Brady, and I'm pretty sure Lynsey are all there. Also an Irish nurse from Holby City. It's set in Belfast so I guess they're gathering every Irish actor they can muster. Also it is genuinely pretty good. But I am kind of puzzled that they had Brendan Brady, and didn't use him as the detective who puts his coat on at a crime scene, and Gillian Anderson is so enthralled she stops a car and wanders into said crime scene insisting on being introduced. I mean, the detective who did that is fine. But if you wanted people to understand instant magic I don't know why you wouldn't use Brendan Brady. Maybe he has more to do in future episodes. Hmm.

I went to see my doctor's surgery yesterday about a sick note. I explained everything to the woman on the desk, and she didn't seem to think there'd be a problem with getting a continuance, over the desk, six months after my last one, backdated to 12th October. And today I got a text saying it was ready to pick up. Hurrah!

Also, the DWP wrote to me again telling me they still hadn't gotten my sick note. Which is nice, because with those letters they also send a prepaid envelope, and a cover letter with the right address on. The only problem is that I really think I should inform them about my grandmother dying, and the fact I don't get money from her anymore, because they're still taking what she used to give me off my benefit payments as 'income'. Obviously I'm entitled to the money, and I'm not even really expecting them to backpay me anymore. I just hope telling them 5 months after she died doesn't cause any problems through not being 'prompt' enough. It was sort of stupid though. I had to wait a month for a bank statement to prove I wasn't receiving it anymore, then write a letter about the fact she'd died, how much money she'd been giving me, why, what it was for, how regularly she'd been giving it to me. I had to wait for the bank statement, and then I put it off, and then I kept forgetting about it. But I should probably tell them now. I can get a copy of my latest bank statement tomorrow when I go to town, to prove I'm still not receiving it, and pick up my sick note, and then send it off tomorrow or Thursday.

I'm still loving Borderlands. My annoyances about the only female character you can play have sort of gone away (mostly) while playing the single-player storyline, because I am just killing everyone, single-handed. I mean, I keep dying and having to be revived by New-U Stations. But apparently that's just a feature of technology in this world, so I think it still counts. And they've started putting in female secondary characters, who are actually physical people you can speak to. Hurrah. The infinite gun generation machine is sort of giving me a headache though. I mean, do I pick a sniper rifle with high damage that has a slight chance of making my enemies explode, or a sniper rifle with lower damage that has a very good chance of making my enemies explode? MY PAIN IS ENDLESS.

Also, I have decided to try to finish Silent Hill: Downpour again. I stopped playing a while back because - essentially, there's a fantastic system games sometimes use nowadays where your weapons degrade. This is sort of realistic, and can work pretty well in some games, and heighten tension. It can also be fucking annoying. Silent Hill: Downpour has this system. If you pick up a melee weapon and use it a couple of times, it starts doing less damage. Eventually, a fire axe can do less damage than a wooden stick, because it has degraded so badly. But, you know, I was okay with it. There were always plenty of melee weapons around, and it was realistic, and I figured I'd only need to put up with it till I got the guns. Then I got the shotgun. Then I ran out of shotgun ammo. Then I started using the shotgun as a melee weapon until I found some more ammo, since the only other option was dropping it. And then the shotgun broke. And then I ragequit. But I do sort of want to finish it, and see the end of the story. So I figured I'd give it another try. We'll see if I remember ANY OF THE BUTTONS, or fail horribly.

In film news:

• A heist movie, starring Cameron Diaz, and Alan Rickman, and Colin Firth? Out tomorrow? That'd be a yes.



• I've been wanting to see Wreck-It Ralph for a few months, since I first heard about it on Tumblr. So it seems kind of annoying that I now have to avoid posts about it on Tumblr so I don't get spoiled, because it's out in America 3 months before it's released here. I THOUGHT THESE DAYS WERE OVER.

ETA: Also, if anyone is interested or morbidly curious, Christopher Maloney's eyes of death are here. You might have to wait a minute, though. I just. It really brings 'bright eyes' to life, that's all I can say.

I got my period last night. On the one hand, I can at least pretty much stop worrying that there's something wrong now. On the other hand, I'm going away for the weekend tomorrow, and given that I usually end up having to lie still with cramps for hours, the timing could be better. On the other other hand, I haven't actually felt any pain so far, although it's hard to tell since I'm still feeling a little off from the weekend. But in any case, I am cautiously optimistic. Slash worried it's just trying to lull me into a false sense of security.

I had some duck spring rolls for dinner last night. I wish I had some more. Mmmmm.

I'm still enjoying Fallout 3, but I think I would enjoy it more if it didn't keep freezing, so I have to turn the whole Playstation off, and worry that I'm damaging it. And Silent Hill Downpour is...yes. About as awkward and clunky as people always seemed to imply, but I think I'm getting the hang of it now. And sort of enjoying it, as the first Silent Hill game I've ever played. But as the first Silent Hill game I've ever played, there's a chance I don't know what I'm missing out on that was there in the other ones. Also quite pleasing is the fact that when a puzzle is too irritating and frustrating to deal with and I've been doing it for an hour, I can always go to the internet and see if I'm even doing it right or not. Which has happened once already so far. I know that that's cheating. But still.

Hello.

I went to see my grandmother on Saturday, with my family and sister. I want to say it wasn't that bad, but really it was kind of a mixed bag. Like, the fact that even though we called my sister before we all set off from our house to make sure she was ready and she said she was, we still had to wait half an hour for her to actually get in the car and set off. But I didn't have to talk to her much. And at the hospital, my grandmother was basically just asleep, so we didn't really get to see her that much. But I'm still glad I went. And, because my sister didn't want to leave all three of her kids with their dad on his own, she ended up bringing my YN with her, who I've only seen a handful of times since he was born. So I got to spend some time with him. He spoke to me! Sort of. He made noises. And he looked me in the eyes and laughed sometimes. So it wasn't a terrible day, overall.

It's been really hard to post lately. For some reason, no matter what I do, I always end up only just getting on the internet at about midnight, and I don't really like to post then because I assume people won't be around. The main non-family things that have been happening in my life recently are:

• A few months ago, in a moment of either genius or psychosis, I decided there really should be a Silent Hill Texts From Last Night tumblr. And lo and behold. It is amazing.



• The Interceptor was a game show on TV in the 80s. I never saw any of The Interceptor. I do not know why.



• SUNSHINE! It's slightly unbearable to be out in. But quite nice to look at. And the poppies are starting to come out, yay!



• I am playing Dead Space. I LOVE DEAD SPACE. 'Survival horror' is apparently the phrase I was looking for when I was talking about Shadows Of The Damned, and that's what Dead Space is and even more so. You get to play Isaac Clarke, an engineer on a routine repair mission to the mining ship his girlfriend works on, but when he and his team get there, they find the ship deserted, and also infested with alien zombies. Then you get cut off from the rest of your team, and basically have to fix everything and kill everything while everyone else (apparently) dicks about on computers for you, and sends you videos telling you what to do. It is terrifying and I love it. I was going to post angrily about it for a while, after hitting a suddenly horrendous bit, but it's not all been horrendous since then, so I think it was an intentional narrative twist. Still. Love. It is terrifying. Every nerve I have is wracked, and I can only really stand to play it for about an hour at a time. But it is also kind of brilliant.
  
  The only annoying thing is that I kind of want to Google it, and see what other people are saying about it. But, whereas it's kind of like a TV show in that I personally am finishing it over a period of time, I get the feeling - and from personal experience with game fandoms - that a bit like a film, everyone talking about it probably have finished it and anything I look up will probably have spoilers. Also there is a whole other game. So I must WAIT. Which I will.



• I missed Eurovision on Saturday. But I had already sort of seen most of the songs. I actually quite liked Sweden's song (I think? Was it a lady rolling around in confetti and a man dancing?). If it is the one I was thinking of, I don't mind that they won. Sad news about Englebert Humperdink though. Poor Englebert.

I am watching almost no telly at the moment I think, and haven't seen any films. I wanted to watch Hit and Miss on Sky, but apparently that started last week, and I'd like to see The Raid, but chances are that's out of cinemas now too. Hmph.

Thanks to the Steampunk Home, I know where I'd like to live if I ever had tons and tons of money - the Clock Tower apartment in New York. Although actually, I might like the Triangular Smith Tower a bit better. And I hadn't seen the Brooklyn Clock Loft. Hmm.

If I had tons of money, I'd also decorate my apartment with a bunch of stuff from Etsy. Like this. And these. And one of these.

Anyway. I have a new fandom. You guys know I like demonslash and monsterslash and ghostslash and stuff, right? Well, you do now anyway. It turns out that if you like that, Silent Hill fandom is the PLACE TO BE. One of the main pairings is some guy and the demon that follows him around the place. The other main pairing, which I've looked into too hard, involves a serial killer And I know that rape jokes really aren't funny, but it does sort of amuse me that the main fandom catchphrase seems to be "Rape Time!". The only problem with the fandom is that, instead of it being a film or series I could buy and watch to get to know the canon, it's a game. And although it's quite cheap at the moment I either don't have the console to play it on, don't have the memory on my computer to really be installing a new game, and am not sure it would play on my Microsoft system anyway. Leaving aside whether or not I'd have the guts to play it long enough to learn about the story anyway. It looks sort of horrifying.

The post for suggesting panels for Connotations is up, and I've already suggested one for Soap Opera slash, but I'd like to suggest one for stuff like demon/monster sort of slash, and how it's different to regular slash - assuming there would be any interest besides mine - but I can't think of any title besides "Supernatural slash" which I think would be misleading, and I can see it turning into a conversation about Immortals, which I know nothing about, very quickly. Oh well.

Other things that have been amusing me - during my looking around for said Silent Hill pairing I came across the Memetic Molester page on TV Tropes. I never knew before how wrong a Burger King advert could be. Ohwait. Also, you've seen the t-shirt, now watch the Three Wolf Moon video. And everyone's probably seen it, but also the JK Wedding Dance video. It is great. And the JK Divorce parody video. Also great.

I have to go get a shower now. And get ready for work and stuff. I forget that this goes along with having a job sometimes.