girlofprey

I had a dream about the apocalypse last night. Well, first I had a dream about a storm that literally ripped apart most of my home town. Then I had a dream about a proper, everything destroyed, deer and lions in my garden apocalypse, and told my dad (in the dream) "I had a dream about this last night". I think it's from reading the comments in too many posts about the state of American politics at the moment. Although the actual posts are becoming no better - yesterday on ontd_political there was a post by someone saying there was no 100% conclusive proof that Russia was involved in swaying the election, so we shouldn't act like they might have until there was 100% conclusive proof, and the CIA were always lying, and I didn't understand it at all. Until I got to a paragraph about how "anyone who had opposed the smooth, self-entitled rise to power of Hillary Clinton is now accused of being in line with the Ruskies", and I understood what it was actually about.

By the way, can't really explain how furious them calling Hillary Clinton's bid 'self-entitled', when American politics is dominated by men and she has literally been hounded by the Republican press for years, actually makes me. People still say awful things about Hillary Clinton, and I worry sometimes that I'm eventually going to get Truth Delusioned into believing them. But for now I still take inspiration from her.

Anyway. I did end up getting a little stressed out by the overtime last week, although some of that was just about buying so many parts for my computer, and feeling like I had to rush into buying my mum's present so I could hide it within those packages. It totally worked though, because she ended up taking the delivery including her gift, and had no idea about it. As for the PC - I'm in a funny sort of waiting game right now. When I went to buy the PSU I'd been recommended it was out of stock, and Amazon were like "buy it now, we'll send it when it's back in stock". So I did. And now it's been back in stock for more than a few days, and I haven't received any sort of email saying they're sending it to me. Meanwhile, they're promising anyone who orders one now that they can have it the next day, if they choose express delivery! Hmm, Amazon. I'll probably send them an email if this continues. The PSU being the power supply for the computer, it is a pretty important part. And I can't really check if any of the other parts I've bought are faulty or super or whatever till I build the entire thing. But apart from that I've got everything else I need. Apart from an OEM version of Windows I've been recommended by my games shop guy, and - since most of those I've seen are on disc, and nowhere does it suggest the computer I'm currently building has a CD-ROM, a plug-in CD-ROM. I have no idea when I'm going to build it, though. Certainly not before the PSU comes.

Other than that though, yesterday was pretty productive. I took some stuff to the charity shop, finally, and picked up some wrapping paper and a card for my YN's birthday tomorrow, and even managed to pick up my MN and sister's presents. I also got an idea for what to buy my dad this week, and I can pick up my ON's present in Leeds when I'm there for work, which only leaves my YN's Christmas present, and I'm told he loves Paw Patrol. And I'm looking forward to going back to my regular hours next week, and I have the Last Guardian and Trico's amazing, and generally everything's going quite swimmingly at the moment. I am bleeding again though. Which is kind of annoying.

Anyway. Speaking of female artists I used to love and then forgot about, do you remember when we learned to Hit Em Up Style?



I don't really love this music video like I do the last one, but I do love the song.

I had my first filling on Monday. It wasn't my favourite thing that ever happened, but it wasn't as bad as I thought. My tooth still feels a little sensitive, but okay I guess. It's weird thinking some of it was deliberately chipped away. Anyway, then I got to spend 2 and a half hours in town, with a numb lip and not being able to eat, waiting for a doctor's appointment to get on the minipill. Which I now have. I took my first one today. It feels so odd, like such a big thing to be setting out to change my hormones and possibly not have to deal with painful periods anymore, which is a problem I've had since I was about 12 - but at the same time I probably won't be seeing any differences for at least a few weeks. Headaches are apparently a side effect I might get. Also the nurse told me it can increase your feelings of anxiety and depression, so. Super. And also mildly increases your risk of breast and cervical cancer, so. I have all that to look forward to or worry about. But it should mostly settle down within a few months, and if it works I can then just carry on with it. And I definitely had to do something. Taking a few days off every month for curling up in bed with stomach cramps was really not an option.

My sleep has been terrible lately. Mostly due to the incredibly hot duvet I'm currently using. I'm not enjoying the weather at the moment - it's getting colder, but it's still not cold, so people seem to not know what to do and just turn their heating up to the maximum anyway. So I'm constantly slightly too cold when I'm outside, and then slightly too hot when I get inside. Also we've had some monsoon-like downpours in the last couple of days. But it is autumn, which is nice. Anyway. My mum bought a new duvet for me and that's ready to go tonight, so hopefully it won't be an issue for much longer. It was a little cold the other night, so it wasn't too bad under my current duvet, but then last night I ended up having a weird anxiety dream about Deacon from Fallout 4 sleeping with my sister. And not just sleeping with her, but being so busy sleeping with her he/they failed to notice or help me with a problem I was having with a crazy stalker woman a floor above me. This comes shortly after a dream I had the other night, which was - I frequently have anxiety dreams about being told about or remembering a holiday at the last minute, and not being able to pack properly while my friends are on the verge of just going without me. But the other night I had a dream about having been on a trip, and then just not being able to go quickly enough. Not packing to leave quickly enough, and then wanting to go to the bathroom before getting on the train, and everyone just huffing around me. So that was fun. I would like less nightmares, essentially. And better sleep.

I'm doing another soap podcast tonight, so I won't be watching the episodes this evening. But I will be discussing soaps with people. Although, they've only caught up to May's episodes with Emmerdale, and they've stopped watching Coronation Street because they find it too boring (????!?!?!???). So I get to fill them in about Todd and Billy. Joy.

E3 is over. I am bereft of video game news. But - one of my favourite pieces of hardware currently is the PS Vita, Playstation's handheld, and people keep claiming it's dead, Sony aren't making any more games for it, there's no support, etc, etc. It's not dead - it's selling really well in Japan, so on the whole it's not going anywhere. It's just whether many more Western games will come out for it that's up in the air. But lately there've been a lot of announcements for games coming to it later this year - localisations of Japanese games, and little arcade-style games. So on the whole, I'm really pleased with it, considering it's supposed to be 'dead'.

It's father's day today. Which is always tricky, just because I have to spend so long choosing between cards that either have a really nothing-y message, or a really long poetic one and I'm like 'no, I don't feel that strongly about him'. But I managed to find a nice one that wasn't too over the top, and I'd bought him a present a few weeks ago. I forgot it was Father's Day, and he was out all morning with my MN at a football gala, and by the time he got back I was deep into Fallout 4, so I didn't actually give him any of it until about 5 o'clock. But when I did it was lovely. Now I have to start thinking about my mother's birthday, next Sunday.

I had a really weird dream last night, about a guy who was a shapeshifter and possibly a killer, and first off he turned up in a musical he shouldn't have been in, killing people, and then the musical was my life, or my friend's life, and he was turning up possibly killing people or possibly just taking over everything we were doing with his gang of friends, and sometimes I and all my old LJ crew were Lets Players and he and his friends were rival Lets Players, and he was trying to take our audience from us. It really chopped and changed between whether he was killing us or just being annoying and judging us. And sometimes I was a shapeshifter too and could fight him. But I also fancied him. There was a constant tension of "Is he going to kill us? Is he going to outdo us? Is he going to kiss me?". I think my brain's finally judging me for liking bad guys so much.

A list of fic I need to see for X-Men: Apocalypse:

• Charles/Apocalypse dubcon


• Peter and Erik daddy issues, possibly Erik saving Peter after finding out he's his dad while Peter's in danger, possibly Peter/Erik.


• Scott/Logan or Scott/Jean/Logan while Logan's feral.


• Ororo/Raven femslash, with Ororo hero-worshipping Raven.


• Raven and Kurt mummy issues.

Fandom isn't so good at providing these fics so far. I mean, there are some. But it's mostly Charles/Erik.

Last night I had a dream that John Stape from Coronation Street killed Tony Gordon from Coronation Street. And he covered it up using mind control powers he got from a sea dragon, which later returned to eat him. So that was nice.

I've finally made the change from Internet Explorer to Firefox, after meaning to for some months. I'm no longer sure exactly how I did without AdBlocker.

Ironically, one of the other things it's made better is the fact that my (Microsoft) Hotmail account, which has been basically unusable since it was 'upgraded', now works better with Firefox than it ever did with (Microsoft) Internet Explorer. So well done there, Microsoft.

Unfortunately, at the moment Firefox also won't let me play videos, of any kind, which I assume is some sort of Flash issue. Also I don't seem to be able to change the extensions on files when I download them, or choose which folder to save them to very easily. But you know. Literally the only metaphor I can come up with is "the course of true love never did run smooth", and I don't feel THAT strongly about it. But you get the idea.

I have also had my hair cut today. I love having short hair. I'm still at the phase where I keep having to run my fingers through it because I'm suprised at where it stops though.

And last night I was thinking about complimentary colours before I went to sleep, and I had a dream about aliens that were ruled by a red and green snake figure, and a super alien car they brought to Earth, which was also red and green. Well done brain.

And apparently now I need to go install a dictionary or language pack so Firefox will understand I am British. Toodles.

The only thing I really have to talk about is computer games, and I'm pretty sure no-one on my flist will know about them or care. I'm not sure what the spoiler policy is about things people probably don't care about.

But I am playing games. The ending of Mass Effect was so weird and sad and slightly unrelated to the game/s that came before it that it kind of put me off games altogether for a little while. Just in case I couldn't trust any of them. I remember what I loved about Mass Effect and mostly got over that though. I have had to sort of leave the Mass Effect fandom though, just because seeing the constant prompts for FemShep stuff was sort of making me feel like the ManShep I loved didn't exist. But. I digress.

I'm playing VENETICA. Which is amazing. I've been wanting to play it since I saw it in a CEX a few months ago, and I finally started. It's...well, it's hard to explain. If you have ever played Black and White 2, the animation and voice acting is largely at the level of the cutscenes in that. Except for certain things, like Scarlett's FACE. I love it when you can tell which is the main character and which is the one the game developers love the most because their face looks the most like an actual face. And she gets a storyline. And she gets powers. She's the daughter of death, that's not a spoiler it's on the back cover, and her true love dies in one of the first cutscenes (that is kind of a spoiler), and everyone's like 'Scarlett, you've got to go save the WORLD now', and she's like '...but my boyfriend JUST died. And I'm not really prepared for any of this. And also, what the hell is going on?'. She copes super well though. They keep giving her weird 'customised' armour, like with the back missing or her stomach showing. But I sticking with plate mail, and that seems to be covering most of the bits it should. And I LOVE IT.

Also I finally downloaded and starting playing Okami, a game I wanted to play when it first came out on Playstation 2, but I didn't have a Playstation 2. You play as a wolf. Who's actually a goddess. It's genuinely probably one of the most beautiful games, or things, I've ever seen. They do also have some problems with costuming for their female characters - except the wolf (so far) - like they just can't help putting that stuff in, because why not? But I'm trying to ignore that. Well, it's hard to ignore when it's actually onscreen. But it's not onscreen very often. And apart from that, the game is great. The only real problem is that the buttons for the game menu and the in-game inventory in Okami are the exact opposite to what they are in Venetica. But I'm hoping to just get used to that. Because it's incredibly irritating.

Also I started replaying Infamous 2 again, because I love Cole McGrath, I love New Marais and all the graphics, and I love Joseph Bertrand even though he's a massive jerk. I'm probably going to give it up in favour of more Okami and Venetica though.

( My weird dreams, featuring a few Hollywood actors )

Hello. I've been meaning to post for the past, um, few weeks. But I've been keeping myself on a pretty steady diet of Skyrim, Saints Row 2, rewatching about half of Season 2 of Oz for Peter Schibetta reasons (who I love MORE THAN EVER), and watching American Dad, for humour and intergenerational het incest reasons. THE BEST REASONS THERE ARE. Also, I managed to get onto the jewellery making course in Leeds for a second term, and I've been going to see my employment coach again. Christmas is truly over. Even if all the sales aren't. So I haven't really had a lot of time to do other things.

Some nice things that have happened to me lately:

• My new nephew came home from the hospital on Monday, yay!



• On Saturday in the post I got both a slightly gloomy, but lovely, card from jekesta containing beautiful stickers (thank you jekesta), AND a letter saying I'd won a premium bond, for the amount of £25, including a cheque for it. It was a good day for post.



• I got back on my jewellery making course. I was lucky to do so, really, in a slightly sad way, because I was only on the waiting list, and they didn't call me the morning of the first lesson like they did last term. But I called them and they said yeah, come in, so I went in and enrolled and went to the class. And then the tutor took the register and realised one person - who had also been on the course last term - wasn't on the register, and there were 13 people in the class when the maximum was usually 12. The woman who wasn't on the register said she hadn't signed any forms or spoken to the people running things upstairs, she'd just come back to the class. She and the tutor went upstairs to talk to the people in the office, and then the tutor came back down and said the woman had had to go home, because there wasn't a place for her. So assuming she wasn't on the waiting list like me, I probably ended up with her place. Which I did feel slightly bad about. But not entirely, because assuming I don't win my appeal - which I don't think I will - by the time the next term comes round, I might well have less money to spend on courses, and no concessions, so it would cost £50 instead of £5. So mostly I'm just relieved about it.



• My Oglaf book came in the post today, hurrah!

Some bad things that have happened to me lately:

• Yesterday at my jewellery course, I managed to cut my thumb with tin snips, which if you know anything about tin snips is pretty hard to do, but I managed it. I also burnt my fingers quite a lot while trying to polish things, scraped my elbow on part of my desk, and get hit by a tiny drop of boiling water while someone was quenching another piece. It really was not my day yesterday.



• I got a call from the Tribunals service today (and yesterday). It turned out it wasn't about anything much, though, but still. A reminder that it is coming :(

Hmm. In other news, Skyrim's wicked. The only problem I'm having with it is that there are so many quests, SO MANY quests, and you don't have to take them all, but I always worry that turning them down WILL mean you don't get to still do them, or that I'll forget that people are offering them and miss out on them. But now I have probably about fifty 'to do', and it's sort of stretching my own suspension of belief that people would not be upset that I took a few months to basically take something to another town for them. So I'm trying to work my way through them at the moment. And basically running into and getting more along the way. But still. It's pretty good.

Further adventures in gender included a quest where I had the choice between taking the side of a woman in hiding or the side of the men hunting her for supposed crimes, and taking her side led to the men accusing me of being fooled by a 'pretty face'. However, ( Minor spoilers for Skyrim, maybe ). So maybe Skyrim/Tamriel really IS meant to be a world where it's perfectly okay and accepted to be gay. In which case, well done, I guess, Bethesda.

Adventures with gender in Saints Row 2 have been slightly more confusing. By and large it's fairly straightforward or not mentioned. But there's an activity you can do in the game called "ho-ing". Which, as far as I can tell, is where you gain respect by going to strip clubs and "pleasing" - strippers, I guess - after which your sexual prowess is known throughout the land, or whatever. I went and did it as part of another job though, and you don't actually get to see any of the act, but you hear voices, and my character was definitely in there with a man. So. I don't really know whether I earned or spent money after that activity. Was it a male ho? Was it just some random guy and we were using a strip club as basically a motel, without paying any of the actual people who worked there? Which is kind of insulting if you think about it. Apparently you can earn money as a pimp by ho-ing, but I don't know how or if I did. But it sounded like a good time was had by all, at any rate. So fine.

Saints Row 2 is getting a bit tricky at the moment in that it's got to that sort of middling part of games, where you're quite good at it, but not super-good at it, so I'm feeling a bit cocky perhaps but the challenges are getting slightly harder and I can't just breeze through them like I could the earlier stuff. Which is a little bit aggravating. But I'm still really enjoying it. Especially now that I've figured out I can steal helicopters if I want to. Even if I can't quite fly them yet. Still.

I haven't really been watching any TV or anything lately. Although I did have dream the other night about hanging out with my awesome nana, before realising, in the dream, that she was actually Rita from Coronation Street. Which led to a weird dream about an alternative Coronation Street, where David Platt had a cat he walked on a leash, and Karen was still hanging around. Good times. Anyway, other than that, nothing really. Other than Oz and American Dad. YOU ARE FREE TO TALK TO ME ABOUT PETER SCHIBETTA OR HAYLEY SMITH IF YOU WISH. I love you guys. x

( Heroes 2x02 'Lizards' )

Rah. I had the strangest dream last night, which for some reason involved Peter and Sylar and Cain from Emmerdale. And Samuel L. Jackson. But I sort of understand that part. There was one bit where we/they were in Venice or London and we decided to go to this famous underground restaurant for lunch, and I stood on the steps and took a breath and could feel cold and damp in my throat. The waiter/maitre'd looked a bit like Igor. It was quite odd. Then I got lost and the 'superheroes' totally couldn't find me. I was only around the corner. They were rubbish.