girlofprey

I was playing Darkest Dungeon last night, and I was doing a final level boss fight, and I couldn't win it, and one of my dudes died, and I powered off my vita in frustration - but also knowing it would take me back to the last save point, just before the fight, when my dude hadn't died. I tried the fight again tonight, and won it, with none of my dudes dying. I feel a bit guilty, and like I cheated, which I did. But I also won the fight fair and square, with the same starting point as last night. Still. I might fire that guy, just to make up for it.

On the other hand, tonight in ( Far Cry 5 )

A game I'm playing at the moment is Darkest Dungeon. It's a very good game. It's quite stressful, you have to be quite tactical about it, and if any of your characters die, they're dead forever. Went on a very high level boss run with my favourite team today. One of them died. That's to be expected, but if you don't finish the fight - with a reduced team - you don't get the equipment you gave that character back. So I kept going. Another of my team got to 0 health, which is a point at which taking any further damage has a chance at killing them. I used another character's heal ability on them, which was supposed to do 4-5 points of healing. It did 0. I went another round, with that character taking another lot of damage, and tried to heal them again. It did 0. She died. I was left with my last two characters, one of whom also ended up at 0 health. But she had an ability that did a few good things for her, and healed her for 4 points of health. I used it. It healed 0. She survived to another round and I tried again. It healed 2 points. I don't even know if this is a bug, or just a feature of high level dungeons. But fuuuuuuuuuuuu-

Jesus fucking Christ, Quentin Tarantino. But I guess - when Donald Trump won the American election, someone said, well at least we now have a very public and very well-known example we can point to of a woman losing a job to a much less qualified, much less competant man. Now I guess at least we have a very clear example we can point to of male privilege, rape culture, casual misogyny. "I'm a cool guy, so it must be cool when I do it". Jesus fucking Christ. It was clear something was wrong when he made Django and filled it with the n-word, and made the Hateful Eight about eight men transporting a 'bad' woman and beating her up occasionally. But. Maybe he shouldn't make films anymore. Maybe fuck off, Quentin Tarantino.

Had a mildly depressing weekend last week. Three separate people called me by the wrong name on Saturday morning at the Hospice, mistaking me for the permanent receptionist I work with, who's been ill for the past couple of days. Had to explain to one at length that no, I wasn't covering for her, I am in fact there every week. I suppose to be fair I'm usually the only one who works on a weekend apart from her and I finish at Saturday lunchtime, so most of the time if they call they'll be speaking to her. And I am pretty quiet. But still. It was quite a novelty when I called my boss over something and she called me by name.

Also had a series of dreams where I disappointed people last night. Or I had to continually work or live with people who didn't really like me or treat me well - I can't remember exactly. But I'm not really sure where that came from.

I've been wearing a different perfume lately, one I quite like to wear in spring. It's got mint in it, and for a while I was really confused, because it suddenly smelled really familiar, like something I'd smelled in the last few months. Then I realised. It was After Eight mints. I smell like a box of After Eight mints. But slightly nicer, obv.

There's a game out tomorrow that I've been waiting for for a while. I'm getting the Collector's Edition so it's going to be pretty expensive, but it should include a sweet watch. At least I hope it will be a sweet watch. So hopefully it'll be worth it. I'm considering getting these beautiful headphones. Decisions, decisions.

I tried to kill the Wizened Hag today in Darkest Dungeon, and every single character I took with me died. I hate the Wizened Hag.

Another game I have been playing lately is Darkest Dungeon. Darkest Dungeon is great. I've been playing it for about a year, in a way, because I bought it when it was unfinished in Early Access, but it's complete now and even better than it used to be. A games magazine marked down its review score because the game was clearly trying to be 'raw and evocative' and didn't succeed, but it wasn't trying to be raw and evocative at all. Basically it's a game where you recruit heroes and send them down into a dungeon to fight monsters, but as well as their health and general condition, you also have to manage their sanity. If it gets too dark, they start to freak out. If they get hit with a lot of damage from a monster, they get scared. If they see something unsettling, they start to get unnerved. If you let their nerves get too bad, they go insane and start acting irrationally and not doing what you as the player tell them - or sometimes, beautifully, they become 'virtuous', and even more dedicated to the task at hand. But also sometimes don't do what you as the player tell them - to the point of sacrificing themselves for their team. It's not trying to be raw and evocative, it's trying to be a horror game where you have to manage your team's sanity, on top of everything else. And it's amazing. And has a really brilliant set of female classes you can recruit. It's quite a stressful game, but it really is brilliant.

The noble boy in Trails of Cold Steel today stated that "bad dogs need stern discipline". So that also happened.

I'm sure there was something else I was going to post about, but I got caught up talking about computer games. I am currently waiting for a new Nintendo Direct, where Nintendo will announce some of their news for the summer, and hopefully a new Wii U or 3DS game. You can always hope.

Oh, I also had a brilliant dream last night. My dreams have been weird for a few days, just choppy and a bit harried and obviously just an amalgam of all the things I'd been thinking about or doing that day. But last night's was like a proper film, and it starred Sam Rockwell as an android detective, just trying to do his job. Eventually, when he proved himself, people said he was a 'really beautiful piece of work'. It was lovely.

I must have updated my Flash Player about five times in the past two weeks, and it needed me to update it again today.

Will it never end?

I have a new game. It's called Darkest Dungeon, and it's available for PC on early access. It's sort of an RPG, except your characters go through stress as well as injury while they're adventuring, and you sort of have to accept that most of them will go mad or die before you get anywhere. It's brutal, but fun.

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