girlofprey

Hello.

Things That Have Happened:

I had a birthday. And I partied like it was my birthday. It was an odd day, sort of. It started off with my sister (who I'm not talking to) calling me up at 11am, while I was in bed but not asleep, to wish me a happy birthday, and let my MN wish me a happy birthday. She started talking very excitedly about what I was doing later, and she didn't know what our/our mum's plans were. Also she kept asking me if I was okay, because I sounded a bit 'down' and quiet. My non-verbal signs that I didn't want to talk to her apparently weren't working. Anyway, she also apparently asked my mum what was happening that day, whether we were all going round to hers for cake as usual. Which is what I TOTALLY THOUGHT SHE WOULD DO. But we worked it out, basically, we've just made some plans that didn't involve going to see her. It still feels mean, but I just really don't want to see her, or deal with her on my birthday. Anyway. As it was nice weather, I went out to our local town gardens, then met my mum and ON out of school and we went to a local tearoom for some cake. Then I went for my counselling in Wakefield, and when I came out I went and met up with mum, dad and my ON at the Pizza Hut in Wakefield and we had dinner. Yesterday my MN came over as usual, and we had my birthday cake and candles and stuff, and sent most of the cake back to their house. So he didn't feel left out either.

And the birthday celebrations are sort of still going on. I expressed a wish to go to Cannon Hall Farm, as it is spring and they tend to have lots of baby animals, unlike our local farm shops. So we're doing that tomorrow. And then mum said we can go out for dinner on Sunday, which is also partly because it's Easter next week and I will be in London. It's really nice all of it. My only concern is that it's a little bit full-on, doing all these things, given that I've still got a bunch of appointments next week and then a trip to London to gear up for. But I'm pacing myself and I'm having quite a few days off, so I'll probably be fine.

I also got my feedback from last Friday's interview on Monday. It's a bit confusing really, because the woman said she could only find one HR form for me - making it sound like there should have been more - and she said there were eight questions in the interview, when I'm pretty sure there were nine. There were three people and they had three questions each. But whatever. In any case it was weird, because the questions I thought I'd done worst on were the questions I'd done the best on, and the questions I thought I'd done better on, I did worse on. She told me the marks I got out of ten for each question, and the first three, where I really felt like I was babbling and not saying much of relevance in, I got 8s and 7s for, while the rest were all 4s and 5s. But anyway. It suggests what I need to work on, in any case. I also called my Employment Coach, and told her about the feedback, and she sort of agreed with me that the fact they weren't giving me any sort of feedback, or asking me to expand on any answers - especially when I was only getting 4s and 5s - was a bit weird, and maybe they weren't exactly the best at interviewing either. But anyway. It's nice to know it wasn't a complete disaster, and like I say, I've got things to think about and work on for next time, at least.

Other things that have happened, in the week when I had the interview, included my finally finishing two games, The Darkness and Wet. It was sort of funny really, I'd not played either of them for about three months while playing Saints Row 2 and Skyrim, and had studiously avoided looking anything about them up in case of spoilers, and then when I actually started playing them again it only took me a few days to a week each to finish them. Oh well. None of you probably know what either of those games are. Suffice it to say that the ending of The Darkness was weirdly left hanging in a way I didn't expect, and then when I looked it up I was suprised to find out that The Darkness is actually a comic book series from 1996, and only got recently made into a game. Which possibly explains the unfinished feeling of the first game. And I'm quite looking forward to playing the game's sequel, which came out last month, and which I'm hoping is as good as the first one. And I love Wet. And Rubi Malone. Nobody ships her with the man I ship her with (except possibly one person who made a video). But it's still brilliant. And maybe I can look up posts about 'Wet' a bit more safely now that Tumblr has apparently got rid of a lot of it's porn.

Speaking of which, I still haven't heard back about either my complaint to ITV about that victim-blaming Loose Women thing, or the complaint I sent to Tumblr about the dumbthingswhitepplsay thing. I wonder if I ever will. I have no idea what the general timescale for replying to complaints is.

The only thing I'm really watching at the moment is Coronation Street. They seem to have mysteriously ended the Carla storyline by not looking at or having any scenes with Carla, which is...odd. But it's sort of miles better at the moment because they're letting David be onscreen again, and letting him shout at and try in a messed-up way to protect people again. Even though the argument he had with Audrey last night seemed a bit weird. I did pause right in the middle of it to listen to something mum was saying in the kitchen, but it didn't seemed to end with Audrey saying things she would never say. In my opinion. Anyway. It's a shame that I only really believe in Kylie when she's being a nasty, money-grabbing cow, but that the only reason I can see for her getting involved in the storyline too. Because she doesn't really seem to care that much for Audrey. But maybe I'm wrong. Maybe she has good, beautiful reasons for being involved.

So. My main job at the moment is too remember not to spend all my money before next weekend. Which is a little unfortunate, because Black March is ending tomorrow, and there are things that I've been sort of putting off buying. But I still need to pay my half of the hotel room, and it's the convention I go to that doesn't involve food in the room price, so I'll have to have some money put away for that too. I do at least have my tickets all booked and sorted though. And I do have a bit of birthday money at the moment, and I should be getting another ESA payment on Wednesday, so I should be alright. As long as I remember not to spend about £400 in the next week or so. I really shouldn't do that. I am planning on getting another secondhand console at some point though - it turns out that CEX (which I totally love) really does sell PS2s, and at a pretty good price. Just not in the next few days.

Hello. My parents have gone to Portugal. I am on my own again for a week, or most of it, except that unlike last time that happened, when I was supposed to be going on holiday to so had nothing to do except stay in the house, I am going away for the weekend in about five days. I'm looking forward to that. I'm just also aware that on Thursday I have to take our dog to the kennel he's staying at on Thursday and Friday (at 7pm, apparently), have a bath, pack, and try to get a decent night's sleep for the con. Then I have to get up, finish packing, and go get a train.

Also, unlike last time, I basically forgot everything I actually needed to do to take care of the house while my parents are away. Partially I mean I forgotten how to do certain things, partially I mean I forgot I was going to need to do ANY of those things until about Friday night, when my parents were packing to leave. I forgot I was going to have to clean up after the dog. I mostly forgot to ask what to do if the cat leaves a dead bird in the garden (as she has been doing in the last week, again). And I still can't really remember when I have to put the bins out. My dad left a note about putting the recycling bins out on Wednesday. But do the regular bins go out on Wednesday as well? I don't know.

And to top it all off, I have one of the least helpful days I've probably ever had.

1. I mentioned not remembering I had to clean up after the dog. Well, also this time my parents didn't clean up what was there before they went for me. Probably this has more to do with them having to set off for their plane at about 4.30am than any inherent evil on their part, but still. It's meant to be done every day, but since I had to go food-shopping yesterday, I decided not to yesterday, and just to do it all today.
   
   Anyway. So this morning when I took the dog out, he had less clean/comfortable places than usual to do his business in, so I was trying to keep an eye on him, and didn't bend down to stroke the cat like I generally do when she comes over. Yesterday, kind of jokingly, I tried to get her to jump up on the hood of my mum's car so I could stroke her, because I've seen cats on cars before, and didn't think it was that big a deal. She wouldn't do it yesterday, but today - without me urging her to - she did have a try. Except that it was my dad's car, because my parents have taken my mum's car, because dad gets so worried his about being stolen or damaged. The cat didn't manage to actually manage to get on the car, but when I looked, she had left a couple of small scratchmarks in the paintwork.
   
   I rubbed them a little with my t-shirt, hoping they'd go away. And I think they did fade a little bit, but I also left a slightly more noticeable smudge on the car. But it's been raining tonight. Perhaps it'll all be fine in the morning.



2. After many days of some of the signs, I've finally gotten my period. Which is nice, because I was worried I would get it on Thursday or Friday or something, when I'm meant to be going away. Except that now I've got my period, on my own. And there is no-one around if the cramps get bad, to look at me and stroke my hair and maybe make me a hot water bottle if I need one. Hmph.



3. I was playing a computer game, and I had my window open, and it started getting dark, but I figured it was fine, it was probably to early for bugs to come in. Then I heard a slight thump and looked up and saw some dust flying down from my lampshade, and thought oh well, I don't mind moths. Except that it wasn't a moth. When I had pretty much finished the computer game and got up, I noticed it was a wasp. Hanging around my light. I didn't even know wasps did that. And I couldn't catch it because it was flying around, I couldn't hit it because it was flying around, and I couldn't turn off my light and hope it would leave, because it was completely dark and I didn't have any other lights, and I wouldn't know where it was or if it had gone out of the window, or if I left my room, if it would still be there when I came back. I finally had to catch it when it landed briefly on the side of the lampshade using a small candleholder of mine, slide that onto a pringles tin lid so it was trapped in there, and then hold it out of an open window, let it go, and then quickly close the window. Thankfully that did it.



4. I have already mentioned the dog and cleaning up after him. I got up late as usual today, went out to get some chocolate, and then decided to do it after playing my computer game. It would only be a couple of hours, and not too late I figured. Then I could do it, then wash my hands and make my dinner. Except I forgot that a time that 'wasn't too late' in August when I was looking after him, would actually be significantly darker now. So, because I really couldn't have left it for another day, for his sake or mine, I ended up having to clean it up in the dark, and in the rain. What I use for this is a small plastic bag used like a glove, and we use it to pick up the poo and put it into another plastic bag. But because I couldn't see very well, and there was so much of it by then, at one point I felt like I'd actually touched something. When I looked, my thumb had been really close to the edge of the plastic bag handle. But there was no way to tell if I'd actually touched something. I have OCD, and am fairly germphobic at times. I washed my hands about three times afterwards. But it still didn't feel entirely clean.
   
   My dog was a complete sweetheart though, he came out with me when I went to clean it up because he wanted a wee, and when he was done and I was about to start I sent him into the garage, with our big garage door still open. When I was finished I was half worried he might have run off and gone wandering around our cul-de-sac, but when I went in he was just laid by the door to the kitchen, waiting. He is quite lovely.



5. However, when I was later on playing with him with his toy bone, he still (accidentally, probably) gave me a bit of a bite on the thumb.

So that was my day. But it's not all bad. I went food shopping yesterday, and even though I'm pretty sure I spent about £40 or £50 last time I was shopping for a week alone, I ended up only spending about £26. I did have one less day to buy for though, and mum had already gotten me some stuff in. Still. It's quite nice. And I have plenty left over from the £70 she left me to pay the kennel lady upfront on Thursday.

Also, I have been mentioning a computer game a lot, which is Oblivion, the fourth Elder Scrolls game, which was released five years ago (apparently) but I never got because I didn't have a computer that could play it. But now my laptop can, and I'd like a chance to play it before the new one comes out and I get it, and I found a "5th Anniversary Edition" including both the expansion packs, for the same price as I could basically get the game secondhand on Play.com. So I got it. This is also probably part of the reason I didn't think to ask my parents much about what to do around the house while they were gone, and why I haven't been posting much lately. It is wicked and I am properly sucked in, as usual with Elder Scrolls games. I'm not loving it as much as Morrowind so far, but Morrowind was set in Morrowind, where the Dark Elves come from, and I always play as a Dark Elf, so that's probably just personal bias. Anyway. It's one of those games you can sort of play for hours and get slightly sick of, but still want to play more of after you turn it off. Or at least that's how it is for me. So I am enjoying it, even if it tends to eat up a lot of my day.

And, ETA, somewhere in the middle of that last paragraph my parents called, and we sorted out a few things. The bins don't have to go out this week, if I find a dead bird in the garden I should either use a plastic bag to get rid of it or just leave it, and mum didn't sound madly concerned about the scratches on dad's car. Which is nice. Also Portugal is apparently nice, and they have nice room with a lovely seaview. So hurrah.

I'm also - in the midst of all this complaining - sort of aware that I'm probably so stressed at the moment because I ran around doing things and getting things sorted last week. I went to my appointment with my employment coach, I went to see my doctor and got a new medical certificate and got it sent off to the Jobcentre, I sorted out a transfer for the money I need for the Connotations hotel room (despite Santander's every effort to thwart me in doing this), and I looked up the train journey I'll need to take to Durham on Friday, which is basically hourly, and really straightforward. So things are pretty much sorted. And I'm meant to be going to another workshop thing with my employment service tomorrow, but I've pretty much decided I'm not going. It's just too much hassle this week I think, and hopefully they'll understand that. I think it's better if I just chill out and save up my energy for Thursday and Friday.

There's an insect flying around my light again now, but I'm pretty sure it's not a wasp, so I'm happy enough.

Anyway. So now I'm probably going to go off and play some more Wet. I found out some problems with Wet which make it slightly not perfect, the controls are really hard to handle, especially when you're meant to be doing 'acrobatic' moves. And it turns out that not only does True Love die young, so does vague computer game het shipping. Hmph. But it's still pretty awesome. Yay. There's other stuff I wanted to talk about, but I'm pretty sure I've blathered on enough. Or the pain in my arm and the new text size in the posting box is confusing me. Whichever.