Hollyoaks (really shouldn't have this effect)

[girlofprey]

Hollyoaks.

O. M. G.

::cries::

tiniago!! Come cry with me, bitch!! ::cries some more::

And now I'm listening to Damien Rice, and it's just ::cries::!

ETA: Omg, randomly appropriate icon!

Comments

[azureboy.livejournal.com]

Like your Hollyoaks icon :)

Justin is mighty :P

If only he and Sam Owen hooked up *hot*

[girlofprey.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I found a couple on a Hollyoaks comm.

At the moment I'm too distressed about tonight's happenings to think about hotness (and that is saying something!)

:;weeps slightly shameful tears::

[tiniago.livejournal.com]

OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD.

*clings and weeps*

noooooooo Ali nooooo oh god AIEEEEE oh no Justin oh noooooo

*more clinging, more weeping*

Curse you, Hollyoaks! Curse you!

[girlofprey.livejournal.com]

My sister MERCILESSLY stole my internet, or I would have been here earlier for commiserations. Omg.

The touching on the forehead.

The 'I'll stay with him'

The 'Don't worry about the other thing, I took care of it'

And Justin just looking so horribly vulnerable and fucked-up when talking to the policeman.

And then the walk down the hallway and the omg omg omg, and the slightly wild 'He's dead!'.

When Macki died I thought 'omg, serious!', but imagined he and Ali would have a 'we'll be alright', then 'I'll say I did it' (from Justin), 'no you won't I'll say I did it'

And then the flatlining and the giving up and Ali died and I was just O. M. G. And of the three people who know what happened that day - the only one who didn't really want to be involved in it - Justin was suddenly all alone.

And then he sobbed into a door!

Heart. Broken. Omg.

[tiniago.livejournal.com]

Oh GOD. The forehead stroking. I know it's just HO being inept, but Justin really was sort of portrayed as the chief mourner, wasn't he? His reaction shots got so much more time than everyone else, and he spent more time with Ali and took the lead in talking to him and stuff, instead of Darlene, who's his blood relative. I know it's just because a) Justin's a more central character and b) the actor can actually act, but still.

He can act and all. He was just dripping so much pain and grief and horror while staying very recognisably Justin and oh. It hurt to see. His little face and how can he stand it? Oh baby. It broke him, it broke him, he is so broken. I just. Ignoring the fact that the writers will in actuality almost certainly fuck it up, how is he ever going to get over this? Even in a non-slashy interpretation? It's such a terrible, terrible thing, worse than anything else that's ever happened except maybe his dad dying, and oh god oh god. *twitches*

Yeah, I was seriously expecting Ali to recover. I thought maybe Justin'd take the blame and Ali would be seriously out of it for weeks and wake up when proceedings against Justin were already rolling nicely along and have to be brave and then say "I did it!". It would still have been fucked up though, because hello, murder.

Hollyoaks have the worst resus people ever. Talk about the postcode lottery. Sometimes resus teams go on for hours; they'd certainly give it forty minutes or so on a kid that young and healthy. I suppose it's better than the special late night episode where the paramedics came along, gave Steph about two minutes then pronounced her dead and fucked off and left her with her friends on the river bank. Oh, Hollyoaks, you don't even try, do you?

[girlofprey.livejournal.com]

Hurray for Hollyoaks and its ineptness. It's gay, gay ineptness.

He can so ACT! I never really noticed before, only in that he was good, and I liked Justin. But the way he said 'he's dead!' - and the crying - I was floored, omg.

It is so true. I don't even ship Justin/Ali, like some people ::eyes you::, and I just CAN'T STAND THE PAIN! Oh, the pain! Oh, Justin! Oh, how much do you actually have to go through?

Fuck the writers - it's the privilege of fandom ;) I don't care what they do to the story from now on, that moment is going to live FOREVER in my mind. One of the few times a soap/TV programme - especially Hollyoaks has really got to me and suprised me and omg. Justin.

[tiniago.livejournal.com]

I don't even ship Justin/Ali, like some people ::eyes you::

Oho, of course you don't. Not enough incest for you, eh? EH? Not enough freaky power abuse issues? Not enough utensils in place of appendages, eh? *bulging eyes of bulge*

It's true, it was really good. One thing Hollyoaks is uniquely suited to do is death in a way that other shows can't. Because the characters get to be around for ages and they are quite recognisable, human people (to a variable degree, depending on the actors) and you can get a vivid picture of the people and the relationships if you're concentrating and lucky and they don't get character raped - and the Justin family dynamics mostly didn't that much, although it looks like they're heading for it now - and when you're not expecting the death, like this, and it's not some big ratings war thing... then it's just really, really powerful. A very good depiction of death; the sort of pointless, non-narrative-construction way of it, and the way you got to see his family react and the awfulness and the waiting and the confusion and the terror. And, y'know, there's going to be this awful loss and we can feel what it means for his family and we're going to feel the absence of his place in the story and ouch. I actually find it realistic enough that it's tapping into real-world feelings about death and things, and that's powerful. And edging on painful. WAAAAAAAAAAH. Oh, I can't believe I'm getting this serious about Hollyoaks, SHOOT ME NOW.

*clings to you YET MORE*

[girlofprey.livejournal.com]

of course you don't. Not enough incest for you, eh? EH? Not enough freaky power abuse issues? Not enough utensils in place of appendages, eh?

Eek! Ack! Flail! ::throws things at you!:: Ignore the woman behind the kinks!!

I agree with you about the ratings war thing. This is totally the show where you can't think 'oh, well they can't kill [so-and-so], there'd be national outrage!' Because no-one that much cares. And the loss because of this, because no-one's expecting it. And the non-narrativeness, because let's face it, that's Hollyoaks' bag, baby.

But after Dan's death, which got all of, oh, three weeks mourning and a casual mention now and then, and an excuse to turn Lisa into a dirty whore, I'm not that convinced about Hollyoaks' death-abilities. But they do tend to give you a few episodes of realistic, people-sitting-in-their-living-room-quietly-not-crying type shots, I suppose.

::clings again in inappropriate seriousness:: :(

[tiniago.livejournal.com]

AND YOUR ICON HAS BROKEN ME DAMN YOU OMG. *more clinging*

[girlofprey.livejournal.com]

::breaks you some more!::

But ::clings/weeps!::

[tiniago.livejournal.com]

Is so pretty. Where'd you get it from, eh?

[girlofprey.livejournal.com]

Found it in this post here (http://www.livejournal.com/community/hollyoaks/24357.html#cutid1). I was as shocked as anyone, but omg, appropriate! There are a few Bombhead one's too you might like ;)

[tiniago.livejournal.com]

Right, I'm pretending this didn't happen and constructing an alternative universe in my head. La la la. See me deny reality. La la la. And then Justin woke up, and It Had All Just Been A Dream. Phew. He ran downstairs and ate three bowls of cereal for breakfast and didn't tell Ali about it, although he did look at him in a slightly anxious, slightly hungry way when he came into the room.

They went on in much the same way for a couple more years. Justin got a few GCSEs and did an NVQ in something practical he was good at, or maybe decided he wanted to do sports science at a higher level, and did a couple of A-levels. The essays and stuff did his head in, but he put in the work and didn't get too irritable about it, and worked part time at the local gym-type-place and maybe did some football coaching. Ali did four A-levels and applied to do something terribly vocational (law? medicine?). After the Macki business he'd got a bit more settled with himself, and he finally got over Nicole. They mostly moved in different friend groups at school, which was probably good for them, but their relationship didn't change. And then they got their A-level results, and Justin got onto the course he wanted and Ali got all his As and got into That University. And then it's September and Ali's packing to go away and it's the celebration night, the night of his going away party. Everyone's drunk downstairs, falling around the living room, and Ali's escaped upstairs to his room which is all packed up and filled with boxes. He's looking at a photo of the whole family which is still on the bedside table, he hasn't packed it yet.

Justin comes in with a perfunctory rap at the door. Ali's been hugged and wept at all night and has received it mostly with embarrassment. But Justin doesn't try to say anything big or meaningful, just grins at him, that unexpected secret Justin grin that looks a bit wicked and weirdly vulnerable, his face all on display and nothing shielding his blue blue eyes at all. And there it is, that understanding, and they don't need to say anything. And it's very quiet when Justin comes towards the bed and Ali stands up and then they're kissing in the middle of the room. Eyes closed and Justin's got one hand on Ali's elbow and Ali's hand is brushing his hip and it's very soft, openmouthed, because they've both practiced enough with other people to get good at it but this time they're doing it right.

When they open their eyes they laugh a bit, breathlessly, a tiny bit embarrassed but mostly comfortable together like always. Justin rests his forehad against Ali's and Ali strokes his thumb back and forth against the knobbly bone at Justin's wrist and they grin at each other. In a way it's a bit awkward to do this now, just when Ali's leaving home, but it couldn't have happened before, it wasn't right. Now it's time for it to begin. Justin will come down at the weekends and they'll have to work out all the mechanics in Ali's single bed in the Halls with the paper-thin walls, and Justin will move down there the next year or the one after that. Possibly he won't be happy in the south, and he'll come back to Chester eventually, and maybe Ali will want to stay in the south and be ambitious and a lawyer and possibly they'll fuck it up but they'll eventually come back together, even if it's in their thirties or their forties, they'll work it out. They'd already spent a couple of years married by the time they turned eighteen, after all. And and and. Theye all lived happily ever after. The end. Yes.

GET AWAY FROM ME WITH YOUR REALITY, HOLLYOAKS! I WILL HAVE NO TRUCK WITH YOU. *happily writes acres of Justin/Ali curtainfic*

[girlofprey.livejournal.com]

::pets you and your beautiful, beautiful dreams::

Hollyoaks is bad at reality. I hereby confiscate reality from Hollyoaks until further notice!

But now I want to write fic about this, and then Justin wakes up and this is the dream. Because I am terrible like that.

::cries some more omg::

[tiniago.livejournal.com]

Write it. Go on. Write it. Because it would be unbearably terrible and awful and painful and I know you like that sort of thing. Go on. I dare you.

There aren't any fic comms, are there? I'm feeling the need for cartharthic/closure mourning!fic, here. OH GOD.

I'm listening to depressing songs, too. Most unwise. I'm considering making a Justin/Ali Misery Song List just to, y'know, maximise the WAAAAAAAAAH.

*more clinging and WAAAAH*

[girlofprey.livejournal.com]

No fic comms I have found. But things might have been written by a certain someone nearby...yes... ::whistles::

Justin is just TOO GOOD at the grief! I had to do something!

Hee! You could just call it 'Misery'. Because that's essentially what the 'ship is now :(

::waaahs a bit more/dances you::

[tiniago.livejournal.com]

OH GOD YOU RULE. I'm so glad I know you. YOU MAKE IT ALL BETTER. Or, er, make it hurt more extensively, at least.

*dances in your praise*

[girlofprey.livejournal.com]

Or, er, make it hurt more extensively, at least

This is praise enough for me. Making other people feel as bad as I do since 2003!

::dances you::

[jekesta]

OMG I HAVE NOT SEEN THIS EPISODE BUT girlofprey TOTALLY TOLD ME WHAT HAPPENED AND I AM PRETENDING THIS ONE IS THE TRUE ONE. Good. YOU ARE FABULOUS AND A LITTLE BIT OBSESSED WITH THE WORST TELEVISION EVER BUT STILL FABULOUS AND THIS IS AN ACHIEVEMENT AND I AM STUCK, LOST FOREVER IN CAPSLOCK.

I love that they just give up on resus. Especially that they left that girl dead and with her friends. GLORY BE.

[tiniago.livejournal.com]

OH THANK GOODNESS FOR YOUR PRETENDING. If enough of us pretend maybe we can warp reality to our will.

*CLINGS AND WEEPS AT YOU UNASHAMEDLY*

You desperately need to watch it somehow somewhere because there is love OOZING out of the screen in a way one rarely sees and it makes me go all wobbly right down deep inside. YOU WILL LOVE IT SO. Before the Awful Death there are actual scenes where Justin, the hard ex-badboy who's all mumbly and tough and adolescent and taciturn and normally Doesn't Do Emotion, pleads with Ali and kneels beside him next to the settee and says stuff like "Where have you been?! I've been worried sick! Talk to me! Why are you being like this? You're frightening me!" and his blue blue eyes go all soft and pleading and vulnerable and his LITTLE FACE and it really is TOO MUCH LOVE and then he comes up behind Ali and rubs his shoulders and stuff and Justin NEVER does that but it's nevertheless IC and OH GOD. It is true, I am obsessed with the worst television ever AND YOU MAY PUNISH ME NOW.