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Mum and dad gone on holiday. They stayed up all night packing, then mum set off the fire alarm with a boiling pan, then they woke me up at 3:30am when they were actually leaving, and dad left the landing light on. Didn't get much sleep yesterday. But day one going well so far. I got slightly less excited about the two weeks' of having the house when I thought about how likely it is my sister might call me up on one of the weekends and ask if 'I could have the kids for just a bit'. I'm planning to be Out to put off the chance of that happening. Tomorrow is quite easy, because they're having a comics festival in Leeds, and Sunday they're supposed to be with their dad. It's not going to be quite a restful as I hoped two weekends with the house to myself would be, but I have to go food shopping anyway, so hey ho.

Yesterday as I was sat on my train home, waiting for it to leave the station, another train pulled out past me with the destination of 'mystery excursion'. I have never been so jealous to not be on a train.

The back of the train said 'Blackpool North', but I still prefer to think of it as a mystery. You can't always trust the back of trains.
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The dog is better, by the way. He was never quite as bad as he was that one day he was really out of sorts, but now he's had all the medicine - sometimes under extreme duress - he seems to be back on form. All eating and regular and whatnot. I was a little worried for a while, because while I was looking after him, at one point he was off the lead and had a huge feather in his mouth. It's size might be a little exaggerated to me compared to what it was actually like, but it was definitely a whole feather, quill and all. And I walked up to him to get him to drop it, and he just swallowed the whole thing before I could get to him. So, we were a bit concerned it was that causing a blockage, because I never saw it come out the other side. The internet was also super unhelpful about whether feathers are indigestible or not - I think not, but dogs in the wild would probably eat them if they ate a bird? So idk. But anyway, if it was causing a blockage, it's obviously stopped now, so as long as he doesn't have a problem I guess there's no point worrying about it.

He's going to my sister's on Wednesday, when my parents are going away. That was their solution to me thinking I would probably find it difficult to look after him and the house while working. Which I think was probably the right decision, because I slept in until 11:05am this morning, and I have to leave for my train at 12pm, and I needed to have a shower. Hopefully that won't be a recurring situation. But I would always worry it might be if I knew I also had a living thing depending on me. Apparently my sister said "yeah, that's fine" when mum suggested it, and we are very much taking her at her word. She looked after him for long enough when she first had him. Although it might be a little confusing for him.

I'm sort of on edge about mum and dad going away - like, I keep forgetting it's happening, and then remembering that no, I will have to go food shopping on Saturday, and the Saturday after, and I won't have any back-up if I'm running late to go for my train and stuff. But I'm sure it'll be fine, and they do deserve it. I just have to remember I have more to do for the next couple of weeks.

A situation is happening in the Let's Play community, and it's kind of gotten me thinking. I'm sure everyone on the internet, particularly people anywhere near Tumblr, knows who Pewdiepie is and that he's kind of a shithead - last week, he used the n-word while streaming a video game, and in response a different company issued a DMCA to take down his old Let's Play of their game, because they didn't want to be associated with him anymore. Which I think is fair enough, but a lot of people think it's going Too Far, and it's kind of reminded everyone who does Let's Plays that they're only allowed to do it - sometimes for a career - by the grace of the game-makers who own the copyrights. And it's just sort of super weird, because I really don't think they're going to stop Let's Plays, any more than they've stopped fanfiction and fanvids (although the content breach is obviously different) - but whether people should be allowed to make money from Let's Plays, and do it officially in that way is another matter. And the money aspect is absolutely part of the reason for the Pewdiepie takedown - the game producer said they were sick of their content helping make him money, especially given he's now a millionaire. And it's sort of brought home to me just how entitled people seem to feel to make money off of, and make a career out of, Let's Plays and other people's copyrighted games. Like, I genuinely think it affects how much a thing is fair use, whether or not you're making money out of it. And the issue has even come up with paid mods and stuff, and how people 'should really be paid for their work' - but being paid or monetising things is literally not an issue with fanfiction, nor is it even really a discussion. And it just seems super-weird, now that I think about it, the way people seem to think 'yeah, this is my take on this game, and it was hard work to make, so I should get paid for it', and literally no-one thinks that about fanfiction, either inside or outside the community - I think Let's Players would be pretty surprised if anyone suggested to them people should get paid for writing fanfiction.

And I know it probably basically comes down to the same old thing - that fanfiction is largely done by women, and Let's Plays are largely done by men, and people automatically see men's work as more creative and valuable than women's. And men are more likely to ask for a reward for their work, and women are probably more likely to be community-minded and do things for free. But it just seems so odd now that this conversation is happening, and literally none of the Let's Players are asking "do we actually deserve to make money off this?". Strange how different views can be to different types of fanworks. Idk. I kind of experience Let's Plays for free anyway, because I have adblocker, and I subscribe to Rooster Teeth mostly for their original content, so I never really thought about it as a monetary thing. But it's interesting. I'll be interested to see how the situation with DMCAs and stuff plays out.
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I am 1000 pages into IT, and I'm so proud of myself, and I sort of don't want to talk about it in case I ruin the magic somehow. But I also don't want to not talk about it in case I make too big a deal of it in my own head and ruin it. I don't want IT to be one of those things I don't finish. But also I am tense because it is finishing. This is it. I'm going to get answers and find out what really happens. But I'm also going to get answers and find out what really happens. When I was about halfway through the book, I estimated it was about 1400-1500 pages, but looking at it now I think it's closer to 1300. Which doesn't seem like enough for all the stuff I know is going to happen. Spoilers )

But I am getting close to the end, and I am excited. But also, at the same time, I read Tommyknockers as a teenager and I remember there was one bit where a character went into Derry to get some more batteries and thought they saw a clown in a storm drain for a minute. And I remember thinking at the time "that's a reference to It", and now I can't remember what year The Tommyknockers was set in. It was after 1985, I don't even know. They better beat the damn death clown, Stephen.

It's so cold lately, it's September and it's sunny, but it's still cold. I don't understand why. I felt like after the not-summer we had in June and July and then how hot it was in August, it would just continue to warm for another few months. Now I'm worried we're going to have a really cold winter. I don't do so well with the cold. Or maybe we'll have a really hot one? I don't know.
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Our dog is not well. After pooing on the living room carpet on Saturday - which I told my dad was out of character for him - he's had bloody diarrhoea for the last two days. Including some times where it just seemed to be mostly blood. This morning he looked super unwell and lethargic and skinny, but my took him to the vet and she said the vet said he wasn't dehydrated and didn't have a temperature, so it wasn't too worrying. She's given us some antibiotics and probiotic paste, and we have to take him back if he's not better in a few days.

It's so hard for me not to just livetweet at you all my thoughts about IT. Thoughts about IT ) If there isn't a fandom or something for IT when I'm finished, I may cry. I'm ready to join a cult.
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The Let's Players I watch do a podcast every Sunday, and this one is entitled "Besmirching the honour of clowns", and now I'm paranoid to look at anything on the internet in case it has spoilers for IT.

Spoilers for IT )
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Well. I had a whole day of chilling planned out. Going into town to pick up some stuff, playing some video games. It's my sister's birthday, but my mum was working all day, and I don't tend to go do anything even when the family's all here. But not so much. My sister called around 12pm, asking if mum was around. She went away when I said mum was working, but then called back. Would I watch my YN for a few hours? Like, just 4 hours? Because she had something very important to do, and he was going to a party. Dad had already left a note asking me to maybe take the dog for a walk - which is fine, the walking, but not the poo collecting - so I was pretty thrown by all the sudden requests. But I eventually agreed to both things, since it is her birthday. I went into town - she needed to borrow £3 for the taxi she'd taken, and luckily for her I had it, because she asked me literally 2 minutes before her taxi came - and picked up my YN. My ON was also there, and ended up asking if he could come with us, rather than stay with his mum because he didn't know what she was doing. So that was 2 kids. I had a thought that maybe we could go have lunch together, me and the YN, but both of them had only just had their breakfast, so they weren't hungry. It was raining. I hated it.

I came back and argued with my YN for a short while about whether he could go out unsupervised on his bike rather than waiting 5 minutes for me to have lunch, and then my dad got home from taking my MN to football as I passed them off to him.

Also the dog, who I walked and picked up after this morning, apparently wasn't done and pooed in the living room while my dad was out. So now he's in dog jail. I literally have no idea why, except that my dad wasn't sure if he'd been fed this morning, so suggested I feed him just in case, so maybe he had too much food. But he didn't make a noise or anything about wanting to go out. So it's something else for me to worry about if I have to look after him for 2 weeks on my own.

And that was my Saturday. Also too much chocolate and Youtube videos.
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My mum is being quiet and sighing a lot, which I think means something's going on with my sister. However, since I started crying and crying at work and talking about how hard it was to constantly hear this stuff and not be able to talk about it, my mum has very kindly a) said that maybe she vents a little about how things are with my sister to me, and maybe makes things out to be worse than they really are because she's stressed out, and b) stopped talking to me about things to do with my sister. Which I very much appreciate. I guess I'll hear about this situation if it gets any worse.

I'm not looking forward to the nuclear war.
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Actually if I was trying to get anyone into Let's Plays, I would probably show them this video, from a completely different guy:

ETA: P.S. I'm not trying to get you guys into Let's Plays, I just really like these videos.
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Pennywise is like the Nicki Minaj of horror villains.
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I've come to terms with the fact that I won't finish It before the film comes out. So all I have to say is; if you've read the book, please don't spoiler me. I know you probably won't, but please don't. If you go see the film and you spoiler me, I will get you. I'll Pennywise you. I'll come up out of a stormdrain. I won't rest.

So. Just bear that mind.

I've talked to my mum about the dog, and it turns out I was doing way more of a walk than was necessary in the evenings. She just takes him out around the street for five or ten minutes. So, if I can give him a bit of a walk on a morning - or at least most mornings - that seems a little more doable. But I still feel like those two weeks are going to be hell - my sister will have the kids, she's more likely to turn up at our house for some reason or another, or to ask me to have one of them over so she can have a break. Whenever their dad picks them up, he tends to do it from our house because my sister doesn't want to see him (understandably). she going to still want to do that, or is she going to have to see him, or is she going to book a bunch of taxis? On top of all the stuff I'll have to do to keep the house running without my parents, suddenly, around working, and never mind what I'll have to do with the dog. But. We'll see how it goes, I guess.

I had to get my cat some more cat food this week, and I decided to get her Whiskas for a change. But I accidentally also got her food in gravy, rather than in jelly like she normally has, and now she won't eat it and I am :(
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So. It's my last night of it just being me in the house, with Frank and the cat (Kell, short for Keller). I'm currently keeping him out of my room with a wastepaper basket of paper recycling, in an attempt to teach him that it's not okay to be in my bedroom unless I'm there. Jury's out on how effective the lesson is. But anyway. It's been fine, even nice sometimes, but mostly it's made me wonder just how I'm going to do this when my parents go away in a few weeks for a fortnight. I did genuinely find it difficult picking up his poo, although it got better as the week went on. Although some of that might have been to do with the fact we were getting closer to my parents being back, and me not having to do it anymore. But what I mostly learned from the times I put the evening walk off too late is that it's a nightmare trying to take him for a walk in the dark, and especially trying to pick up after him. Never mind how nervous I do get being out in isolated areas when it's dark out. And at the moment, it's getting dark around 8 o'clock - in a few weeks, it'll be getting dark even earlier, and I don't get home till around 8, and later if my train's late. And if he doesn't get enough walks in a day, he does sometimes poo in the kitchen, which is something else to clean up, and I don't know if I can handle the stress.

And I'm not even that sure I'll be able to do the walks in a morning regularly - I do have a tendency to sleep in, and I have showers on some mornings, which is going to give me less time. And even apart from all that, I'm out of the house for 8 hours a day on a weekday. I'm sure he'd be fine, but it's not really fair on him. I could take another week off, but it's very late notice for my boss now, and I only have one week left I think, and that would only cover one of the weeks and it'd be all my holiday for the rest of the year used up.

So I don't know. I think I'm going to have to ask mum and dad to put him in a kennel. It sounds ridiculous when I will be here, but I just don't know that I can do it. Or maybe my sister can have him back, for 2 weeks. I don't know. I'm going to have to discuss it with my parents when they get back.

I'm going to let him back in now. Hopefully one of us has gotten something out of it.
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Meanwhile for Frank it's been an endless game of "how can I get under Rachael's desk to sit at her feet, where I mostly love to sit with people?", when there is absolutely no room for him under my desk. He seems to have mostly taken the consolation prize of sitting under the end of my comforter and quilt where they spill over the edge of the bed.

IT )
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I always remember when I go to the cinema, but then forget when I come back home, but: in May I went to see Jen and Alice, and I jokingly/depressedly asked what they thought people were going to remake next. Turns out it was far beyond anything I imagined, because there's a Mary Poppins 2 on the way - for real - and they're remaking Flatliners. Flatliners. Of all the things.

Salma Hayek is amazing, and they should give her her own buddy movie, with Eva Mendes.

If you want to know what the rest of my life is like, picture me in a field, playing an endless game of "is it dog poo or is it a slug, I wish it was neither". Also my cat made the new move yesterday of apparently bringing us a dead bird as a gift, thinking better of it and deciding to eat the bird instead, and then getting sick and throwing it's innards up on the patio. Which I also had to clean up. So there's that.
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Firefox updated itself yesterday and, as far as I can tell, switched off my adblocker and all of my online security. Which is not the most helpful thing it's ever done.

Things are going okay here. I have successfully walked the dog twice now. I'm still not thrilled about picking up poo, but it occurred to me yesterday that he's going to have to poo eventually, and I'd much rather he did it up the field than in the kitchen, and now whenever I have to clean up after him on a walk it's almost a joy. I did have some slight trouble getting him back on his leash, though - my mum called today and claims you have to wait until he's investigating some long grass and get him. Last night I had to wait until he took an interest in a nearby couple, which I'm not happy to do on a regular basis. The man told me the best thing to do is have him on the lead in the garden, and call him and sort of pull him in, and then when he gets to you give him a treat, and eventually he'll get the message. I tried to do some of that in the garden today, but I think he was too tired after the walk. Also he eats feathers, and I'm certain he swallowed some last night while running away from me, so I'm a bit concerned that's going to cause him some health and/or digestive issues. But so far he hasn't showed any signs, so we're not having any problems so far.

Mum said things are apparently okay for them too. They had a few problems at bedtime - to be expected - but today the two youngest are on the beach with her and dad, and my ON is inside, not dressed, using the tablet. Where he loves to be. I hope the weather holds out for them. And that there is enough to do in Scarborough that they stay entertained. On Friday, my MN asked if they could take the dog with them on holiday, and my YN said he didn't want to go on holiday because "the seaside's boring. [Our local entertainment complex]'s not boring". We'll see.

I went to see Logan Lucky yesterday, which was fine. A perfectly pleasant way to spend a few hours. And it's nice to see Daniel Craig getting to do something that isn't James Bond. It wasn't as good as The Hitman's Bodyguard though. I'm definitely going to see that again. It was slashy, I don't know if I ever said that, or that I was hoping for that when I went to see it. And in a really lovely way. I really enjoyed it.

I also saw the It trailer again yesterday. On second viewing, it is scary. It just doesn't look very much like It. I had "you'll float too" echoing in my head for the rest of the day yesterday though. It puts me in a bit of a dilemma though, because part of me - given how fast I was reading it - was hoping to finish It before the film came out, so I could compare the two and not be spoilered. But it made me feel like I was reading it too fast, and not enjoying it properly. So when the film looked terrible, I felt like I didn't care about seeing it, and that pressure came off. So now I don't know. And the film's apparently out in two weeks, rather than around Halloween like I assumed.

More things I am now afraid of because of It:

  • The word 'float'.

  • The word 'Kenduskeag'.

  • Actual clowns.

  • Washing things away down the drain, because where do they go, they don't just cease to exist because I wanted rid of them, what am I doing?

  • I was playing a game called Cities: Skylines, because I've felt a bit burned out on games lately, and I think maybe management games are the exact thing I want to do at the moment, and I was genuinely uneasy about putting in sewage pipes for my town. The town is called Beep Beep.

  • The Sims 4 almost immediately started advertising an expansion pack to me featuring clowns and pools, as if clowns and water are anything I need right now.

  • The Sims 4 also has a range of clown paintings you can decorate with, and the first one is like "clowns r sad, because they're only one popped balloon away from the end of their career", and I'm like "leave me ALONE, The Sims"

  • The deadlights (???? !!! ???)

  • Whatever happened to Patrick Hockstetter, the fact they're putting up a missing poster for him in the trailer for the film makes me think it's significant.

But I also, at the same time, kind of want to make all of the kids from It in the Sims in one household, and make Pennywise their sole guardian.
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This is a sketch that has genuinely stuck with me ever since I first saw it:

Definitely made it, Kelly.

And this is a song that makes me feel insane, it's so good:

I'm really looking forward to my holiday tomorrow, and the house and internet all to myself. Except that I've just remembered it's also going to be filled with a lot of dog-walking and picking up dog poo. But I'll survive. The new dog is fine by the way. His name is Frank. I don't love him as much as I think I would a dog of my own, and he's a bit needy and it turns out he'll poo all over the kitchen at night if he doesn't get taken out enough times during the day - I'm going to make an effort to do that over the next week. But he's very sweet, and he's settled in pretty well with us.
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I might have spent a bit too much on games this month though, because I currently have £360 in the bank, for two and a bit weeks. And that also has to cover all the food I'll need to buy when my parents are away next week, the new pair of work shoes I thought I might buy then, and a £110 train pass I'll need when I go back to work. Hmm.

Also I mentioned The Sims 4 on the PS4, but to be clear I bought it for the PC. The only place to play the Sims.

Also I knew Joss Whedon was a fuckhead, but I am learning ALL NEW THINGS, WOW, this week.
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They've been advertising The Sims 4 coming out for Playstation 4, and it reminded me that the Sims exists, and so for the first time in my life, I bought and downloaded the Sims purely so I could make Michael Bryce and Darius Kincaid from the Hitman's Bodyguard in it, and make them live in a house together in suburbia. Never did the pairing thing in the game before. So far it's going swimmingly. Michael has a job as a secret agent, and he keeps getting promotions, which he's thrilled about. Darius is on the criminal mastermind career track, which is a bit tricky, because he's not really that bad, but he'd getting along. Michael tried to cook breakfast on morning and got set on fire, and then he had to go to work sad, because he set a fire and was covered in soot. It is pretty much all I want to do all the time though.
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Went to see The Hitman's Bodyguard today, it was great, would see again. But now I have to look up train times to go to this mental health Welcome Meeting thing tomorrow. I know I agreed to it, but I still resent having to travel and go anywhere on a Sunday.

But I've got a week off after this week, so I guess I can relax and enjoy myself then.

Also, all the films coming out soon look dreadful. Having read a bit of the book, the new It trailer looks terrible. Like, the point was that it was a clown trying to kill you, and that was the scary part. If you just make it a scary clown, like you're missing a lot of the point. And implying Pennywise was somehow involved in events I don't think he was involved in (unless I just haven't gotten to that part in the book, or something), just eh. Looks like they're overegging the pudding, and ignoring a lot of what makes it really creepy. And the new Kingsman trailer also looks bad. The first one wasn't the greatest film I'd ever seen or anything, but the new one seems to be just advertising itself on gimmicky set-pieces, and no women? Except for the baddie?

I'm looking forward to Logan Lucky next week though, mostly for Daniel Craig as a redneck thief. And American Assassin looks propaganda-ish, but it does have Michael Keaton in it looking beautiful, so there's that. I'm a little worried that I'm only looking forward to seeing films with men in them, but they are films with relationships in them, and I happily do and will look forward to films with women having relationships and fun in them (like the Ghostbusters 2016 film), but they don't seem to be making any of those. I'm still sort of meaning to see Atomic Blonde too, but it does look a little male-gazey. Hmph.
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