(no subject)

[girlofprey]

I'm at the end of my week's holiday, and I'm drinking some flat coke. It's not amazing.

After the end of my week's holiday, I feel sufficiently rested from work to start having an actual holiday now, and start doing some of the stuff I want to do when I have some free time. Like clear out my books, and read some comics. Oh well. This week off has been great, but has mostly made me feel annoyed that I won't be able to have any more time off like this for another few months, if I really want to spread my holidays out. It's also made me think I need to get a new job, because I am actually dreading going back. I don't know if it's from working in general, or from the actual job I have, but I don't want to go back and just be bored all day, and try to use my free time at work trying to come up with new systems and ways of doing things, only for no-one to do them and to actually sabotage anything I do to make things easier for myself. I think I've been getting too caught up in the idea of 'progressing' with a new job, and trying to find either a more full-on job or a full-time job to get myself more back into 'the world of work', neither of which I'm entirely sure I'm ready for. Instead of just thinking of getting away from this job, that I don't like. Honestly, I've been thinking since last year that it might be just a good idea to quit this job, and have some time off to rest and focus on looking for a new one. And I would probably do it, except that a gap like that might be hard to explain to a future employer. Still it seems like a wicked idea. I am aware that I keep saying 'I want to find a new job' and then not doing it, and I can't promise that I'll look for a new job now. But stacking shelves or something is starting to seem preferable, rather than just sitting there all day, getting frustrated with my fellow receptionists and boss.

Also I may have fucked myself this week, because I've been staying up very late and sleeping in very late this week, in either a wild stab at freedom or anxiety. So last night I decided to go to bed earlier than usual, at a respectable 2am. I laid awake until 6am, before finally falling asleep. Told myself I'd get up at a decent-ish time this morning, so at least I'd be knackered for tonight. After a number of 'waking up then accidentally falling back asleep incidents', I finally got up at 1pm. It's not great. And I think won't fly next week when I have to be at work for 12:30pm each day. I didn't think my sleep patterns would change so much in one week, but apparently they have. Fuck.

Also, I was feeling really anxious and overwhelmed earlier this week, and thought it was an anxiety spike, before I realised I'd been sleeping in so late, I'd been missing the time I normally took my pill, so I had been forgetting to take my pill for three days. Hormones. Hormones everywhere.

I'm not looking forward to the weather they're predicting for tomorrow.

I have been playing a lot of The Sims 4 though. I finally had my Deputy character move out to a place of her own, and start actively dating Joseph Seed, instead of dancing around each other unconvincingly like they had been. Some highlights:

1. I was very impressed with the Dogs and Cats expansion ever since I got it, but I rarely had more than one animal in the house. Now my MC is living on her own with a cat and a dog in close quarters, it's even more impressive. Seeing a cat go to sleep on a dog's bed and the dog freak out about it is the truest thing I ever saw.



2. The cat my character has is a 'free spirit' who occasionally goes wandering at night and is unfixed. This means a female animal will sometimes come back pregnant. I understand this is not good practice in real life, but I really like the genetics system they have in the game, and given that I won't LET ANYTHING AGE OR DIE there's not a lot of chances to play with new animals all the time. My cat gave birth to two kittens on her first go around, one of which came out with the traits of nervousness, bad behaviour, and messy eating, and not a lot of redeeming features. I quickly fell in love with Jerk Cat. His name is Kay.



3. Also decided like an idiot to get a second dog, because I love a rottweiler. When my character lives alone, has a full-time job, and an insane amount of hobbies, and a love story to play out. Sadly in the Sims 4 you cannot walk two dogs at the same time. And everything takes a million years. A 'short walk' takes about two hours, assuming you don't get stuck on furniture before even getting started. Joseph Seed needs to hurry up and move in so he can start helping out with the housework.



4. Speaking of Joseph Seed, like I say I had my main character actively start dating him. This means you can openly flirt with each other, which actually raises the romance meter between two characters, so an actual romance is a possibility. But I have to say, nothing seemed to raise the 'romance meter' between my MC and Joseph Seed as much as the time she introduced him to the kittens her cat had just given birth to. I'm assuming it's something to do with the fact I made him 'family-oriented', because of course, so probably he's more attracted to people with 'youngsters' in the house, and the game got confused between young people and young animals. But regardless, he was never more dtf than when she showed off those kittens. Thankfully they're all grown up now, and he mostly just gets turned on by flirting.



5. My character is a police officer, which is a career you can 'actively' play by going to the police station every day and doing assigned tasks. The main way to get ahead is to solve cases, by analysing clues to track down criminals from random crimes. However, the criminal they have randomly assigned to my latest case is another police officer, and the game won't let me arrest them. I don't know how to get IA involved.



6. The romance with Joseph Seed is progressing swimmingly, but we haven't quite gotten to the sex part yet (we all knew where this was going). There was one time where they'd been out on a date, I'd had the main character 'invite him to stay the night', which frankly I thought was a euphemism - but when they got to the house he was exhausted, fell asleep in the bed, slept till the next morning, then as soon as he woke up said 'thanks for hanging out with me, I should go now', and then suddenly left. Not cool, Joseph.



7. I don't understand why random strangers come to my house all day. I particularly don't understand why children I've never met come.



8. It was 'halloween' in the game last night, which is a thing you can arrange with the Seasons expansion. I decided it would be great for my character, who is already as busy as I've said she is, to host of party for the occasion. Frankly, preparations weren't going well even before the cat gave birth again. But it sure did make things exciting. Black cats everywhere.

I played the Sims for a long time and my eyes feel funny.

Comments

[breyzyyin]

I'm glad that you were able to enjoy your week off at least. And whatever you do with the job hunt, I hope it ends up working well for you and will provide you less anxiety in the long run. ♥

~Orz, the sleep pattern changing happens to me a lot when I have vacations too. Hopefully you can readjust to a pattern that works best for your work schedule. *hugs*

~Lol, I love that you've started a romance with Joseph Seed in your The Sims 4 game! XD