(no subject)

[girlofprey]

On Monday, as I was getting ready for work - I was doing quite well, happily - I got a phonecall, from someone asking if I was my MN's nana. I said no, and that she was on holiday. They said there'd been an incident and my MN was going to have to be excluded, was there anyone that could come pick him up? I said no, my parents were on holiday, and unfortunately I couldn't drive and was about to go to work. So the guy said "he's not supposed to be in school without an emergency contact". My sister, having no phone, was naturally uncontactable.

I don't know what happened with that, I assume they had to get a police officer to take him home when they had the time, as has happened before, but what the guy said makes it sound really like my parents can't actually take holidays while my MN is in school. If they're going to take a holiday and not be available, he can't be in school. And my sister doesn't like my parents to take holidays during half-terms, because she likes them to help her out with the kids, and sajhfkjsadhfkjsad. So it sounds like my parents just can't take holidays anymore, except when they take the kids with them. And I don't really know how to tell them that. I've spent the last few days thinking about it and agonising about it. I'm certainly not going to call them and tell them, but if they call me, I don't know if I'll be able to hide it. I'm not very good at lying, and if my mum gets any sense something might be wrong and I'm not telling her, she'll worry over what it is much more than she will if I just tell her. Also, I kind of want to tell them they should make an effort to enjoy this holiday, as it might be the last free one they take. But also I don't want to ruin their holiday. And also, if at all possible, I'd rather they hear it from me than possibly hear whatever my sister will say to them if they speak to her first, and they get back on Friday long before I get home from work. So I really don't know what to do about it. I've gotten varying opinions from people at work about whether it's better to ruin a holiday, or have bad news waiting for them when they get home. There's a lady who gets the same train as me a lot of the time, and I discussed it a bit with her, and she suggested maybe telling them the night before they come home, when the holiday's over anyway. That would be tomorrow night. And my mum probably will call me tomorrow, or contact me in some way, to let me know what time they're coming home. But I also know how much she stresses about packing and travelling, so I don't know if that would be a good idea either. I've narrowed it down to either that, or texting my dad and telling him separately from my mum, just because he tends to not freak out and suffer with things as much as she does. That still feels weird though. Or leave a note on the table on Friday, telling them to call me when they get in and ideally before they speak to my sister. Or just do nothing and say nothing until I get home on Friday night and see what happens. I really don't know. It's such a shit situation.

Also, a few hours after my post on Sunday, I thought I heard knocking on the door. I turned my volume down on what I was doing, but they didn't knock again, so I turned it back up. Then I heard another knock on the other door, and I came downstairs to see the neighbour who's been looking after our dog running around in the garden, then lean down like she was coaxing something into her arms, and then walk back to her house with her arms bundled up. So I assume the dog escaped and tried to come home. But no luck. He was foiled. No coming back till Friday, dog.

Comments

[breyzyyin]

That is a tough situation. I think telling them the night before they come home might be the best, just because it doesn't really put a dent in this particular holiday. It stinks that that happened though. :/

~Haha, that sneaky dog! XD

[girlofprey]

Yeah, it's just - nothing I do will stop it from being true, I guess, so in a way it doesn't matter what I do. I just wish things weren't as bad as they are, but they are I guess, so there you go.

Yeah, my mum calls hims 'the slitherer', because of the way he always manages to somehow silently sneak out whenever there's an opening and he particularly wants to. She didn't warn our neighbour about that particular thing, I guess!

[jekesta]

I would vote for just not telling them anything, come home from work on Friday and see what happens. It's not your thing to be stressing about. It's your sister's. And I know that's easier said than done, but it seems to me that you do better when you stay away from being involved with all your terrible sister stuff, so try to step back from it again here, perhaps? I feel like you're worrying about ruining your parents' holiday, but *you're* not the one that's messing things up for them, and you don't have to take that responsibility on just because you answered a phone call.

x

[girlofprey]

I guess. I wish I could just make it better for them, I suppose. I just feel so bad for them. But they are grown-ups, and they are choosing to be as involved and as responsible as they are. I think I'm going to buy them flowers tomorrow anyway, and just be like 'welp'.

[jekesta]

I didn't mean to sound quite as hard hearted as I maybe did. I totally get where you were coming from with it, it's horrible and really natural to want to make it better and do the right thing. Are they okay about it all?

[girlofprey]

No, it's okay, I know you're just worried about how stressed out I get about these things. The thing is, it's kind of not my sister's thing to tell them, in a way - the fact she's out of contact is terrible, but even if they could speak to her, she can't drive and can't afford a taxi to go out and get him. So unless they were willing to send a car for her, my MN wasn't getting picked up anyway, and it's been like that for a while. So it's really just an aspect of the responsibility my parents already agreed to that maybe they didn't quite realise while they were agreeing to it. But they're still her kids, and it's nothing to do with me really, I know that. It's hard to separate myself from my parents from my sister from the kids, sometimes.

They were - okay about it? It occured to me after this post that maybe they already knew, if the school tried calling my mum's phone before they called our house. But they didn't, and she hadn't spoken to my sister - my MN often stays over on Friday nights, so I thought they might talk about that, but he's not here tonight so they didn't. So it was just up to me to tell them. My mum said she'd already told the school/social workers about the holiday, kind of - there was some meeting booked, and she mentioned she'd be abroad during it, and no-one said anything. But I just told them what the guy said, and she said they'd have to speak about it at the next meeting. But she went sort of quiet, and brought it up with my dad the next time he came in the room, so it was obviously on her mind. So I don't know. They're just going to have to deal with it, I guess.