(no subject)
May. 6th, 2017 10:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
girlofpreyWell, life was already shitty enough, what with politics and everything. Then tonight we got a phonecall at half past nine, and I was like "oh, someone wants something". And it turns out my sister told her partner she didn't want him, and told him to go, and then she had a few drinks and told him again, and then he punched her in the face, dragged her into the kitchen and shut the door, and then slammed her face into a kitchen counter.
So there you go.
She'd already called the police on him, and told them to take him away and not bring him back, and she called the ambulance for herself, who are on their way, and I think she was just calling my mum to tell her what had happened, but my mum figured if the kids' dad was going to be with the police, and their mum was going to the hospital, and social services were probably not going to let her go back if she was still drunk afterwards, then someone should probably go around and be with the kids. Who are probably traumatised at this point. Apparently there was blood everywhere. She and dad have gone - I suggested it probably shouldn't just be her, especially if my sister's partner would still be around - and they'll probably be there all night.
A part of me feels really calm. Because I knew this was going to happen. Obviously. People who hit their girlfriends and get away with it tend to just keep on doing it, and getting worse and worse. So obviously something like this would happen at some point. When I was young, and it was my sister hitting me, sometimes I'd wish she'd push me down the stairs, or break my arm, something massive that we couldn't ignore and would actually make something happen. And now it has. And social services will be involved, and they'll almost certainly tell my sister that she can't continue to live with him if she wants to keep her kids - and it sounds like my sister actually wants him to go, which is something. But then the last time he hit her, she was calling up my mum and alternately calling him a bastard and talking about how much she loved him, and she wanted to stay with him. And she's talked about wanting him to go before, and nothing has particularly happened because of it. But apparently he's saying stuff like "you can't tell me to go, it's not up to you, it's not your house". Which, a) it's my mum's house, and b) is the kind of thing men say who later go on to come back and beat their ex-partners up again, or kill them. The fact he was hitting her for telling him to go wasn't great. So who knows what's going to happen in the future. And even if he does go, and stays gone - except for child support payments, because obviously we need the money - my sister's still a nutcase who gets drunk and self-destructive, and I can't see things going well if it's just her looking after the kids, and I can't see things going well if she gets another fella. Plus, her current partner had his tubes tied, so at least we didn't have to worry about any more kids. Not so if she gets a new guy. Or just starts generally sleeping with guys, if she's not with someone. And then there's the childcare. And the money.
So I don't know what's going to happen with this situation. It feels like this is a turning point. It almost feels like if things just go back to how they've been lately and nothing changes, that's the worst thing that could happen. Or, you know, things go back to how they were but continue to get worse. But I just don't know what's going to happen. How things can improve. Just going to have to concentrate on getting through tonight, for now.
So there you go.
She'd already called the police on him, and told them to take him away and not bring him back, and she called the ambulance for herself, who are on their way, and I think she was just calling my mum to tell her what had happened, but my mum figured if the kids' dad was going to be with the police, and their mum was going to the hospital, and social services were probably not going to let her go back if she was still drunk afterwards, then someone should probably go around and be with the kids. Who are probably traumatised at this point. Apparently there was blood everywhere. She and dad have gone - I suggested it probably shouldn't just be her, especially if my sister's partner would still be around - and they'll probably be there all night.
A part of me feels really calm. Because I knew this was going to happen. Obviously. People who hit their girlfriends and get away with it tend to just keep on doing it, and getting worse and worse. So obviously something like this would happen at some point. When I was young, and it was my sister hitting me, sometimes I'd wish she'd push me down the stairs, or break my arm, something massive that we couldn't ignore and would actually make something happen. And now it has. And social services will be involved, and they'll almost certainly tell my sister that she can't continue to live with him if she wants to keep her kids - and it sounds like my sister actually wants him to go, which is something. But then the last time he hit her, she was calling up my mum and alternately calling him a bastard and talking about how much she loved him, and she wanted to stay with him. And she's talked about wanting him to go before, and nothing has particularly happened because of it. But apparently he's saying stuff like "you can't tell me to go, it's not up to you, it's not your house". Which, a) it's my mum's house, and b) is the kind of thing men say who later go on to come back and beat their ex-partners up again, or kill them. The fact he was hitting her for telling him to go wasn't great. So who knows what's going to happen in the future. And even if he does go, and stays gone - except for child support payments, because obviously we need the money - my sister's still a nutcase who gets drunk and self-destructive, and I can't see things going well if it's just her looking after the kids, and I can't see things going well if she gets another fella. Plus, her current partner had his tubes tied, so at least we didn't have to worry about any more kids. Not so if she gets a new guy. Or just starts generally sleeping with guys, if she's not with someone. And then there's the childcare. And the money.
So I don't know what's going to happen with this situation. It feels like this is a turning point. It almost feels like if things just go back to how they've been lately and nothing changes, that's the worst thing that could happen. Or, you know, things go back to how they were but continue to get worse. But I just don't know what's going to happen. How things can improve. Just going to have to concentrate on getting through tonight, for now.
(no subject)
Date: 2017-05-06 09:45 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2017-05-07 10:53 am (UTC)I know what you mean, that's a really hard feeling. Like you don't want to be doing something meaningless while things are awful, but when there's nothing you can do just at the moment the only other option is sitting in awfulness.
I hope it's going okay. x