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Aug. 28th, 2015 03:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
girlofpreyAm not going to the video game convention.
I did my best, all the positive thinking I could muster. I got up this morning and packed and walked down to the train station with my mum and ON. I was in pain anyway because of kickboxing on Wednesday, but I could definitely feel the cramps kicking in, and I just thought "if it gets bad tomorrow, what am I going to do? I'll have to curl up in the first aid tent, trying not to throw up and waiting hours until my dad picks us up." It's almost always bad - I know it's coming. But even if it's not, I don't want to spend all day worrying, and being tense over that, which will probably make things worse anyway.
I'd floated the idea of maybe not coming to mum yesterday, when I got my period, but she didn't say anything else about it. She heard me hissing in pain and not really talking to them on the way down, but she didn't say anything about it. Her thing is basically not to give people an easy way out, in the hope they just go along with things she wants - I love her, but it's true. She was anxious anyway about taking my ON away when I was there, I knew she wouldn't want to do it alone. But when we got to the train station, I had to bring it up - it would be harder to do by the time we got to Birmingham New Street or somewhere. I just decided it wasn't worth it. If we had a hotel or something I could stay in, maybe, but we don't. It's going to hours of standing and walking and trying to pay attention to things when my mind will probably be on my womb. So I decided not to go. Mum just stayed quiet - I had to ask her to tell me it was okay, if I was feeling so rough. My ON said it was fine, but then started crying. I felt super bad. But what can I do? It was just terrible timing. Going on the pill and stopping my periods altogether is looking a little more attractive after this weekend though. Although it still feels a little drastic.
Anyway. So instead I came home, and then realised there was hardly any food in the house, because mum thought most of us would be out today and tomorrow. So I had to go out to buy some bread, and managed to get caught in a heavy shower that literally lasted the time it took me to walk to the shop. And my brand new light khaki trainers that I bought on Wednesday got soaked. Brilliant.
I'm feeling alright now, but I'm guessing that's a lot to do with the couple of power naps I took, curled up on my bed, and my constant access to a toilet, which helps with relieving any sort of pressure that builds up in your midsection. Can't imagine I'd be so great if I'd spent the last few hours on a train (or series of them). I hope mum and ON are okay though - just as the first train came, mum asked me 'how' to change trains. She doesn't do a lot of cross-country travel, and there weren't always long gaps between her connections. But hopefully it's fine.
I am pretty disappointed - even apart from my ON and mum, I wanted to go. It's a video game convention, and apparently they have a bunch of games that haven't been released yet that you can play on the expo floor, as well as a bunch of indie titles you can investigate. If I feel alright tomorrow, I might have a ride through with dad when he picks them up (mum didn't fancy getting the train back). If I feel really alright, I might try to sweet-talk him into going an hour early so I can hang out with mum and ON and have a little snoop around myself.
I did my best, all the positive thinking I could muster. I got up this morning and packed and walked down to the train station with my mum and ON. I was in pain anyway because of kickboxing on Wednesday, but I could definitely feel the cramps kicking in, and I just thought "if it gets bad tomorrow, what am I going to do? I'll have to curl up in the first aid tent, trying not to throw up and waiting hours until my dad picks us up." It's almost always bad - I know it's coming. But even if it's not, I don't want to spend all day worrying, and being tense over that, which will probably make things worse anyway.
I'd floated the idea of maybe not coming to mum yesterday, when I got my period, but she didn't say anything else about it. She heard me hissing in pain and not really talking to them on the way down, but she didn't say anything about it. Her thing is basically not to give people an easy way out, in the hope they just go along with things she wants - I love her, but it's true. She was anxious anyway about taking my ON away when I was there, I knew she wouldn't want to do it alone. But when we got to the train station, I had to bring it up - it would be harder to do by the time we got to Birmingham New Street or somewhere. I just decided it wasn't worth it. If we had a hotel or something I could stay in, maybe, but we don't. It's going to hours of standing and walking and trying to pay attention to things when my mind will probably be on my womb. So I decided not to go. Mum just stayed quiet - I had to ask her to tell me it was okay, if I was feeling so rough. My ON said it was fine, but then started crying. I felt super bad. But what can I do? It was just terrible timing. Going on the pill and stopping my periods altogether is looking a little more attractive after this weekend though. Although it still feels a little drastic.
Anyway. So instead I came home, and then realised there was hardly any food in the house, because mum thought most of us would be out today and tomorrow. So I had to go out to buy some bread, and managed to get caught in a heavy shower that literally lasted the time it took me to walk to the shop. And my brand new light khaki trainers that I bought on Wednesday got soaked. Brilliant.
I'm feeling alright now, but I'm guessing that's a lot to do with the couple of power naps I took, curled up on my bed, and my constant access to a toilet, which helps with relieving any sort of pressure that builds up in your midsection. Can't imagine I'd be so great if I'd spent the last few hours on a train (or series of them). I hope mum and ON are okay though - just as the first train came, mum asked me 'how' to change trains. She doesn't do a lot of cross-country travel, and there weren't always long gaps between her connections. But hopefully it's fine.
I am pretty disappointed - even apart from my ON and mum, I wanted to go. It's a video game convention, and apparently they have a bunch of games that haven't been released yet that you can play on the expo floor, as well as a bunch of indie titles you can investigate. If I feel alright tomorrow, I might have a ride through with dad when he picks them up (mum didn't fancy getting the train back). If I feel really alright, I might try to sweet-talk him into going an hour early so I can hang out with mum and ON and have a little snoop around myself.
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(no subject)
Date: 2015-08-28 02:20 pm (UTC)Fwiw I've been using depo provera and haven't had a period since late 2013 and would heartily recommend getting them stopped completely, whether it be by the pill or the shot or whatever. I too thought it was a bit drastic and just put up with it for years, but honestly now i wish id done it sooner. I think maybe we feel like we're supposed to go through this but it's pretty liberating to just be done with it altogether. Also it has helped me greatly with mood swings if that is something that you might be interested in.
(no subject)
Date: 2015-08-28 04:11 pm (UTC)