![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Oct. 21st, 2018 09:53 pmWell, I got to my two weeks off. And now I don't really know what to do with it. But maybe that's for the best. I keep feeling like I want to fill it with trips, and then I feel bad, like I'm taking a holiday when I kind of left my work team in the lurch a bit with my absence. But then again, if I hadn't been feeling so terrible, I wouldn't have taken a bunch of other time off lately, and I would have the days left for a holiday if I wanted one. And I don't think it's so bad anyway. But it almost feels like an anxious reaction, to try to fill the time with Stuff To Do, instead of just relaxing. But we'll see. It's occured to me that now I have time off I could indeed go to Alton Towers like I planned, if I wanted to spend the money. But it's also occured to me that that may not be something I want to do on my own, at any rate. So we'll see.
My dad doesn't know about my time off, as far as I'm aware. I told my mum a week or so ago, and she hasn't said much about it, other than asking me what I'm going to do with my time off. Neither of them are hugely supportive about me taking time off, or my mental health problems in general sometimes, so I didn't really want to tell either of them about it. But my dad will figure it out at the latest tomorrow, when he comes home from work and I'm already there, long before I normally get in. So we'll see what he says then.
I've heard from my counsellor too. I don't remember if I mentioned that - after coming out from speaking to my manager about taking this time off, nearly three weeks ago, I came out of the meeting and found a message on my phone. It was from my counsellor saying he was in a weird position, he was technically on paternity leave but the baby "hadn't quite arrived yet" - whatever that meant - and so he could potentially see me, maybe on Tuesday. It was a Tuesday when he called, and he said he'd try to call me again the next day, and so much had been going on that I just decided to wait for him to call me. Also I never have a direct number for him, so it's a pain to have to just call the service in general, explain my situation, and then wait for them to see if he's even in or available to talk. So I waited for him to call, and he never did, so I just assumed the baby had finally come and he was off work again. Anyway, he left a message again this week, saying I'd never gotten back to him - and to access that message, I ended up listening to the first message again, and realised that Tuesday he'd been talking about seeing me on was actually Tuesday 23rd, not just the following Tuesday as I'd expected. Oops. Anyway, so he's saying I never called him back, even though he said he'd call me and didn't - and something about emails, but I definitely never received any emails from him. So I'm not quite sure what's going on or what he expected me to do, but either way either I'm probably going to call him tomorrow, or he's going to call me, and there's a chance I might actually see him this week. Which might be good and helpful, given everything that's been going on lately. But any appointment we have will apparently be the last one we have, because we're at our limit for sessions during this course of therapy, so it's probably not going to lead to any ongoing support either way. Which kind of sucks.
My dad doesn't know about my time off, as far as I'm aware. I told my mum a week or so ago, and she hasn't said much about it, other than asking me what I'm going to do with my time off. Neither of them are hugely supportive about me taking time off, or my mental health problems in general sometimes, so I didn't really want to tell either of them about it. But my dad will figure it out at the latest tomorrow, when he comes home from work and I'm already there, long before I normally get in. So we'll see what he says then.
I've heard from my counsellor too. I don't remember if I mentioned that - after coming out from speaking to my manager about taking this time off, nearly three weeks ago, I came out of the meeting and found a message on my phone. It was from my counsellor saying he was in a weird position, he was technically on paternity leave but the baby "hadn't quite arrived yet" - whatever that meant - and so he could potentially see me, maybe on Tuesday. It was a Tuesday when he called, and he said he'd try to call me again the next day, and so much had been going on that I just decided to wait for him to call me. Also I never have a direct number for him, so it's a pain to have to just call the service in general, explain my situation, and then wait for them to see if he's even in or available to talk. So I waited for him to call, and he never did, so I just assumed the baby had finally come and he was off work again. Anyway, he left a message again this week, saying I'd never gotten back to him - and to access that message, I ended up listening to the first message again, and realised that Tuesday he'd been talking about seeing me on was actually Tuesday 23rd, not just the following Tuesday as I'd expected. Oops. Anyway, so he's saying I never called him back, even though he said he'd call me and didn't - and something about emails, but I definitely never received any emails from him. So I'm not quite sure what's going on or what he expected me to do, but either way either I'm probably going to call him tomorrow, or he's going to call me, and there's a chance I might actually see him this week. Which might be good and helpful, given everything that's been going on lately. But any appointment we have will apparently be the last one we have, because we're at our limit for sessions during this course of therapy, so it's probably not going to lead to any ongoing support either way. Which kind of sucks.
