(no subject)

I went back to work yesterday. I didn't really feel that much better, but I'd stopped actively dripping snot and having to hack up a lung every five minutes. On Saturday night I found it hard to sleep because of a wheeze in my chest, so I feel like maybe I have a chest infection. But I'm not fluey and that kind of sick, so it's also a little hard to feel like I couldn't work. Like maybe I couldn't stay off just because of a cough, a blocked nose and feeling tired. And to be completely fair, I didn't want to miss a week's worth of pay. But I feel like maybe going to work made it worse, and right now I feel awful. I was up repeatedly in the night coughing, my throat's thick and sore just from the pain of it, and I just feel like there's a weight pressing down on me. My mum thinks I should be back at work, but always seems to disapprove of me taking time off work no matter how bad I feel, and she's insane, so I don't know what to make of it now. My dad hasn't mentioned it, but he's also the guy who'll stay up until 1am watching films, in his sixties, even though he knows he has to get up at 6am for work the next morning. A guy at work floated the idea that maybe I wouldn't be in today if I was still sick - but he's a guy who's famous for taking regular sick days, the person I've seen take more sick days than everyone else, and who was concerned at one point about having to change to my company's contract from the one he was on because our company doesn't pay for sick days. Everyone else asked if I was still sick, or if I had a chest infection from the way I was coughing. My manager didn't really say anything except to tell he really misses me when I'm not in, because if I'm not in he has to do reception.

So I just feel awful, and idk. Maybe I'm making a big deal out of nothing, or maybe I'm putting myself through an ordeal for the sake of my co-workers for no actual, real reward.

My mum is annoyed because I'm just taking paracetamol and lockets, and not buttercup syrup. Apparently buttercup syrup is cough medicine. I literally had no idea about that, I just thought it was a nice syrup for your throat.

(no subject)

I went to work and actually felt a lot better. I think making that post probably helped. People say positive thinking is good for your health, but I think maybe miserable thinking is the thing. Or maybe I was positively miserable (ha ha ha). Anyway. It was either that or the buttercup syrup. I still wish I was at home rather than working, but I also feel like going to work tomorrow won't be akin to dying.

I have made a masterpiece in the Sims 4, and if you saw it you would be ashamed of me.