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Nov. 8th, 2013 10:06 pm( A lot of worrying about my ESA )
And I had a weird appointment with a service worker yesterday. My official worker is off for two weeks, so I'm seeing sort of 'interim' people, and yesterday it was a woman I'd never seen before. She was quite nice, but from the things she said she'd obviously had problems before and felt very proactive about being over them. I found her a little brusque, in places. Like I was explaining about my family again, because she didn't know my situation, and she was asking questions when I mentioned things and stuff, and then later she said she didn't know why I'd talked so much about them, and it wasn't always helpful dwelling on past problems. Then later she was commenting on the way my 'manner changed' when I'd spoken to mum about something, and how there are ways to say how you feel while still 'keeping your manners'. And I kind of get what she was saying and she was probably right about some things, but it was - very different from the style I'm used to. A little intense for two hours.
But then it also made me think about all the stuff I'd feel more comfortable saying to her than to my usual service worker, because he's a man. I mean he's perfectly nice and I don't feel threatened by him or anything, but there's still stuff I feel weird saying. Like about buying new bras and stuff. I talked to the woman yesterday about how I get depressed sometimes when I get PMT, just because of my hormones I think, and she suggested sage oil as a non-medical hormone balancer. I can't imagine having had that conversation with my current worker. It's sort of unusual for me to have a male worker because I've always generally had female ones, and I kind of wanted to have that experience. But I'm wondering now if I might really want to change to a female worker, just so I can talk about more things more comfortably. Hmph.
And I had a weird appointment with a service worker yesterday. My official worker is off for two weeks, so I'm seeing sort of 'interim' people, and yesterday it was a woman I'd never seen before. She was quite nice, but from the things she said she'd obviously had problems before and felt very proactive about being over them. I found her a little brusque, in places. Like I was explaining about my family again, because she didn't know my situation, and she was asking questions when I mentioned things and stuff, and then later she said she didn't know why I'd talked so much about them, and it wasn't always helpful dwelling on past problems. Then later she was commenting on the way my 'manner changed' when I'd spoken to mum about something, and how there are ways to say how you feel while still 'keeping your manners'. And I kind of get what she was saying and she was probably right about some things, but it was - very different from the style I'm used to. A little intense for two hours.
But then it also made me think about all the stuff I'd feel more comfortable saying to her than to my usual service worker, because he's a man. I mean he's perfectly nice and I don't feel threatened by him or anything, but there's still stuff I feel weird saying. Like about buying new bras and stuff. I talked to the woman yesterday about how I get depressed sometimes when I get PMT, just because of my hormones I think, and she suggested sage oil as a non-medical hormone balancer. I can't imagine having had that conversation with my current worker. It's sort of unusual for me to have a male worker because I've always generally had female ones, and I kind of wanted to have that experience. But I'm wondering now if I might really want to change to a female worker, just so I can talk about more things more comfortably. Hmph.
