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Our awful twat of a neighbour got his way, anyway. Despite my dad telling our nice neighbours that if they had right of way there was nothing the guy could do, he cut down his bushes, demolished his wall, and got his motorhome on his newly built driveway in the back, leading out into the cul-de-sac. Our nice neighbours had to pave over their front lawn so one of them could park on it, instead of parking in the corner as she'd done for about 15 years. But my dad took some pictures of this guy literally selling cars from the front of his house - and they think that's what he's planning to do on the back, that he's going to move the motorhome in a few months - so they're hoping he gets done for that. It can't be legal, in a house in a residential area. But anyway. It's a real shame.

It's the summer holidays as well, which means my ON has slept over every night since the weekend, when my mum was working a bunch of shifts. Apparently anything with a screen is pretty much broken in his house, so he gets pretty bored in there on his own. I wouldn't mind, but he literally comes down and just plays online Minecraft multiplayer all day. Which I don't think is good for his health or his mind, frankly, but also I think it really fucks with my internet. I obviously can't play online games of my own when he's doing that, but I've also been having issues with videos stopping and starting, and my connection just going weird, even when he's not here. Last night I was trying to check if I could indeed play online games - there was one I was trying to use, and just couldn't connect to a server - so I asked him to come off for a bit, tried a different one, and got into it. I played a few games and then stopped, because I wasn't really that interested in it, and after that my internet was perfect. I get that my cache is a problem, and I'm having to empty that out really often at the moment, but even so it seems like something else is happening. It's not a very technical assessment, and maybe I'm just imagining it. But it's still really irritating.

I also think I'm going to have to get a new phone. I haven't been able to use mine much for a bit, because I had no credit. I called to put some more credit on it at work the other day, and it died in the middle of the call. So I thought 'okay', brought it home, put it to charge overnight. I took it off the charger yesterday, still switched off, I hadn't switched it back on since the battery died. I took it out of my bag yesterday, switched it on, called to put more credit on it, and it died in the middle of the call. So I think the battery's kaput. And I'll have to get a new one.
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Difficult stuff )

I went to see Spiderman again today, because Michael Keaton is amazing. I still spent a lot of it wishing someone would slit Tony Stark's throat, but the bits with Adrian Toomes were amazing.
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I went to see Spiderman Homecoming )

I came out of the cinema and almost immediately was expected to do some childcare, or y'know. My crazy mum, after two days working in a row, decided to have all three kids over even though she knew I would be out at the cinema, and my dad would be out all morning at a work thing, which he ended up having to come back late from. It was fine, the kids weren't too badly behaved, and we went up to an event up at the castle and watched Viking re-enactment fights for about half an hour. But we're going to be having the dog later today, and trying to get him to meet the cat and get him settled into the house. I'm hoping to have some rest this weekend.
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My mum got a call on Sunday night from my sister's neighbours. My nephews were apparently in the garden yelling and throwing stones and throwing stones at cars that passed, and my sister was coming out occasionally to call them morons but not do much else. Apparently, my nephews have been doing plenty to these neighbours, such as weeing in a bottle and throwing it over their fence, and throwing stuff over the fence in general, and throwing large amounts of stuff from their bedroom windows into the garden, or into a gap between their garden fence and their conservatory. The woman who lives their used to teach my ON at his school, and they're very sympathetic to the kids and my sister, but they say they've been living in that house for 42 years, and now it's just like being in hell.

So that's nice.

The thing of it is, it's not even like the kids had been in all weekend and were going stir-crazy. My parents had my MN on Friday night, as they usually do, and he slept over, even though there was no football the next morning. Instead he had a presentation, and all of the kids went to that, even though my ON was a bit weird apparently. Then they came back to our house for a few hours. And on Sunday their dad had them, and took them out for the day. So what else can be done? Frankly?

Based on that, my sister/mother called a meeting with my sister's social worker, which went...okay, apparently. The neighbours, on my mother's advice, reported the kids to the police for anti-social behaviour, and now they're not sure how far that's going to go. But it sounded like there was stuff the social worker didn't know, like genuinely how often my parents have the kids. So maybe something will come of it? But who knows. At the moment we're mostly preparing to have their dog, Frank. I wish I was more excited, because I do want a dog, but again I wanted it to be my dog. And all I can think about is how this is going to disrupt things for the cat, if they never get familiar with each other, and how we can never have the doors open when it's hot in summer again, and we're going to have to have a walk schedule and someone's going to have to pick up after him, and etc. But apparently she's still forgetting to feed him, and she hasn't had his coat clipped in months, so I don't know if there's much else we can do. In good conscience. Other than call the RSPCA or send him to the pound. I'm sure it'll be lovely. He's a lovely dog. But it is basically just cleaning up after my sister, again.

I called the doctor's yesterday, to see about talking to someone about my mental health stuff. Apparently I can't book an appointment, because all the pre-booked ones are now taken until the middle of August. The best I can do is call them in the morning to try to get a same day appointment. Which means getting up to call them at 8am, just to see if I can get through, and if I can get a suitable appointment, and at the moment rushing around to change my routine at short notice isn't going to be good for my stress levels, to be honest. But it is the best shot I'm going to have apparently, so I'll probably try to do it later in the week, or next week or something. I also looked into one of the helplines my mother recommended, and it was closed down, but I told my mum and she said she'd just spoken to them a few days ago, and it turned out I had the name slightly wrong. So there's always that if things get bad.

But still. You've got to laugh, haven't you?
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I feel a lot better today than I did last night. I talked to my mum, and she sort of agreed that things were crazy and can't continue as they are. I honestly don't know if it's that, or if I just had a really bad day yesterday, or I was just really tired and dehydrated, but I do feel much better today. Mum's going to talk to my sister's social worker, ideally with my sister there, about how she feels and the effect all of this is having on our whole side of the family, in an attempt to explain that she needs to step back from it. Or get my sister to listen to what she has to say. One or the other. And she's suggested some form of counselling she has access to at work, which her family members can use, because it might not have as long a waiting list as they will probably have at most other places - because the stuff that's upsetting me is very much happening now. But I don't know if it will have a waiting list, and she said something about how she tried to use it once and it was somewhere very far away and hard to get to, so idk. We'll see.

My MN is back at school today, although only in the mornings - in the afternoons he can decide if he wants to stay on, or come home. But it should still take some of the pressure off at least.

They're cutting the canteen staff and reducing the stuff the canteen does at work, which doesn't bode well for future jobs going. But a receptionist and a cook aren't really the same things, and there's no point worrying unless we actually hear something about it.

I've started reading the Communist Manifesto, since I am a socialist, so it's probably a good idea to know what that means and where it comes from. I'm not very far into it, and it is interesting, but it's also weird how immature it is. Also racist and sexist, which surprised me but that not much when I thought about it. But they go on for a little while about how the lower levels of the bourgeois, the 'petty shopkeepers' and artisans, cannot be truly revolutionary, they're actually reactionary and just want to roll things back to how they used to be, while never seem to understand that the meaning of the word revolution is 'to roll things back'. Also their belief that the proletariat are completely uninfluenced by religion or culture or anything like that, are just suspicious of it because it's just a tool of the bourgeois. Okay Marx. It is interesting though, and makes a lot of interesting points.
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It was my mum's birthday yesterday. Apparently, she got woken up by her sister at about twenty to nine in the morning - her sister is in her seventies, had a stroke a few years ago, and her only daughter is currently in hospital recovering from an operation to remove a brain tumour, but they were expecting her to come out of hospital a few weeks ago. Then my mum had to go to a CPR training session. And after that, she decided to let my ON come over, because it was her birthday and because he normally comes down on a Tuesday, but she was working today. And - I didn't get the full story of this, but it was something like; a community/school nurse was at my sister's house, and wanted to weigh the kids and measure their height. My MN and YN weren't in, so my sister either asked my mum to go look for them, or my mum was just driving away with my ON and saw them. Much, much further away from the house than they should have been, considering my MN is 8 and my YN is 5. Apparently, when she stopped to pick them up, my YN was crying, and saying something about how a man had chased them, threatening to call the police, because my MN was throwing stones. My MN, at the time, just refused to get in the car, because he'd found some older boys to hang around with. It was around this time my mum's sister called her again, crying. But, after that was all done, we went out for a meal, and it was pretty nice.

Today my mum had a twilight shift at the hospital, which basically means she's working from 12pm to 12am - pretty much all her shifts are 12 hours these days, but sometimes she does day shifts, which are about 7am to 7pm. She normally only does one a week, but for some reason the shifts have fallen, this week and last week, so she's doing two on consecutive days. So she did the CPR session yesterday, is working a twilight today, and is working a twilight tomorrow.

So she was up this morning, getting ready for a 12 hour shift at the hospital, and apparently my sister called her, asking her if she could look after my MN for an hour, because she wanted to get ready for a Jobcentre appointment, which had been rescheduled from last week after she was 15 minutes late and they refused to see her. Because my MN is still not at school till tomorrow, because she didn't sort out his transport. She apparently said her appointment was at 11:40, and "you're not at work till 12, are you?". At which point my mum had to point out that no, she had to get to work for at least 11:45, to be ready for the start of her shift. In the end, she agreed to watch him, and my sister said she'd just meet her before she went into work, and pick up my MN then. Let's hope that worked out. Before that - I essentially woke up to mum telling me my sister had called her, while she was getting ready, and she also told me that my MN had apparently said that while he was out on his jaunt yesterday "an old man had forced him to smoke weed". When my MN came to our house, the story had apparently changed to it being one of the older, 12 year-old boys he was with who'd forced him to smoke weed.

Tonight, I came home and asked my dad if he'd heard about mum's exciting morning, and he said he'd had an exciting afternoon, because he'd gone over to my sister's for something, and my MN was acting like a lunatic. Apparently he was running around with a mop, and then my dad took it off him, so he started jumping on furniture, trying to push things over. My sister didn't react much to this, so my dad told her to do something with him, she tried to tell him to stop, he told her to fuck off, and she ended up kicking him. After which he ran outside, picked up a brick, and threw it through a window of their shed, smashing it. There are three windows in the shed, and he's broken them all, apparently. My dad then started talking about how my MN needed to go away, just go away somewhere, probably to a padded cell. And how my sister's been ruining my dad's life since she was 13, and it's all just bollocks.

And I'm not doing very well, to be honest. This might be obvious from the posts I'm making lately, but...this is just exhausting. And awful. And honestly, it might not be so bad, but given everything that's going on with my job at the moment, I just don't know what's going on with that either. If I could be confident that I could stay at my job, getting my wage, for as long as I wanted to, until I chose to leave, at least that would be something I could feel secure about. But, even though there's no particular indication the new company are going to let us go, I can't feel secure about it, not until we get some concrete news one way or the other. So I don't know what's going to happen with my family, and I don't know what's going to happen with my job, and I don't know what effect either of those things are going to have on my mental health. And I'm just really tired, and I can't tell if it's because the weather changed over the weekend and everyone's tired, or I ate too much, or I'm just actually not sleeping enough, or it's my hormones. But I just feel miserable. I cried at porn the other night. It was this really good dubcon, which was mostly overall consensual, just a bit pushing, but wasn't just about the 'empowerment' of complete submission, and it crystallised some of my attitudes/issues around dubcon. It was around the same time I saw a post on Tumblr shouting out to and supporting our new label, 'hypersexuals', who are apparently people who have kinks that upset or disgust them, have sex all the time, and have sex as a form of self-harm with people they don't like. Maybe? Maybe all of those features are supposed to be separate? I don't think they should necessarily be lumped in under one label anyway. But I definitely don't think it's helpful to just put them under one label and passively accept them in a way that lets people avoid talking or thinking about subjects, rather than thinking or talking about why people have those feelings or do those things. I'm sorry, I'm not being very progressive right now. I probably just don't understand tumblr, or young people, and how supportive but also critically-thinking they truly are.

Anyway. That post annoyed me. But they crying thing, I genuinely don't know if it's because it crystallised a few issues for me, or because I'm feeling incredibly emotionally raw because of everything that's going on at the moment. I got a bit teary last night, because my mum turned 68 and started asking if she was an old woman, she wasn't an old woman was she? And my dad started reminiscing about when he was young and used to punch people so hard he detached their retinas. I think they both miss their youth, and it upsets me to think in ideal circumstances, I will outlive them and they'll die and I'll have to live without them. And also their present is so awful, and that upsets me when I think about it, even though we've all kind of accepted it as normal at this point. I followed that up with a dream last night where my sister was younger, and just had one young kid, but kept coming into our house and insisting she should stay with us and eat our food because she didn't have any food for the kid at home, and she tried to make this up to us with beautiful singing, and I had to tell her that no matter how beautiful the singing was, it did not in fact make up for her invading all of our space and our house, and shouting at her that she was an awful cow and she was ruining all our lives. I told my mum about it this morning, and she was like "that was no dream".

Anyway. This sucks. I don't really know what to do about it. I could go see my doctor, but I honestly don't know what they can do for me. I'm already on anti-depressants, that I'm pretty sure I should have been weaned off of this spring. Other than that, I don't know that I have time for counselling or anything. I could call Samaritans to talk about this stuff, but they can't really talk back to you about stuff because they aren't trained, so it wouldn't really be like having a conversation about it. I'm just...I don't know if I should just hunker down, and hope for the best, wait for it to sort of get better. I've already had to take a step back from video game news, because it's just too stressful given what some arseholes on the internet think. I feel like crying right now, but I don't know if it'll help to just let myself be emotional about it. Because at what point do I stop? I should probably talk to my mum about this. But I don't really want to put any more on her shoulders. But I don't think I'm coping super well at the moment, and it might help the both of us to talk about it.
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Well, my dad went to the tip for what seemed to be an hour or two, my sister came back from her whatever, and mostly fell asleep on the couch, and my YN has just had a horrific sounding temper tantrum, but when I came downstairs (I'd been on the loo), my mum was just giving my MN some strawberries and meringue, while my YN looked on licking his lips, but still with tears drying on his face. Idk.
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I booted my computer up as usual today, and when I clicked to go on the internet it chose to open an infinite amount of Firefox windows. Bold choice, computer.

Truth be told, I'm a little concerned about it. The fans - or something - have been squeaking more lately, even when it isn't hot, and the whole computer keeps crashing, I think when it's trying to download new graphics drivers or something. It definitely did when I tried to watch a livestream at E3. I've only just built this computer, and it cost a lot of money to do so. Don't be broken, computer.

We're on the second week of 'babysitting sometimes' for my sister, and it's already gone tits-up. It turns out what's actually going on is that she's got some sort of flirtation thing going on with the guy who takes my MN to his school (when he has transport to his school), and so she wants some free time on the weekends to see him. So who knows what's even going to happen with that, and apparently the kids' dad has heard about this and said if she has anyone round to the house, he'll come in and smash their face in. Which is lovely. But anyway, regardless, that's the reason she wants us to have the kids 'sometimes'. She was apparently meant to be seeing this guy last week, but he cancelled at the last minute, so now she's seeing him this week. So now we have all three kids, except my mum was so worried about what my dad would say about it, she didn't tell him till this morning. And since he was taking my MN to football yesterday morning, and we were going to an open-air concert yesterday evening, he had stuff he was planning to do today. So currently, my dad's at the tip, the kids refused to go with him, so my mum's downstairs cooking a Sunday dinner, while trying to keep an eye on two of our nephews outside. I would go watch them, but they're only going to run in if there's a problem, so I'd basically be standing sentry for no reason. My ON and I have just been up town, because it's my mum's birthday tomorrow and there's some stuff we needed to get at the last minute, and basically it's been a very busy weekend and there's not been a lot of communication. And my sister's currently off on a date.

It wouldn't be so bad, but like I say, we had my MN to sleep on Friday night, and then my parents took him to football yesterday morning, and then we immediately got my ON, who came to our house to play on the computer, then came to the concert with us, then slept overnight. It's not like we don't have the kids otherwise.
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I've been feeling so stressed lately. Just stuff going round and round in my head, like I want to write essays or something about it, but I don't. I couldn't sleep last night. And it's one of those things where I can't tell if me getting too anxious about that stuff, or if I'm anxious because of other stuff going on in my life, family stuff and that, and my anxiety's getting an outlet through worrying about other things. I've also been having weird cramping today and yesterday, so it could be pre-menstrual tension, but I just have no idea what my cycle is or what's going on with my body anymore.

My MN is coming around, and I've been thinking about saying something to him about perving on those girls, because I don't want to let him think it's okay. But we've just had some neighbours round, because we live in a residential cul-de-sac, and the lovely older couple who've lived down at the end since we moved in are having some sort of planning war with the guy who lives near them, and wants to stop them parking their cars where they always have so he can knock down a wall and have a driveway at the back of his house. Despite the fact he's completely block-paved the front of his house and has been selling multiple cars from it for years - which he's not supposed to do. So now I'm too tired to even try to have a discussion with my MN.

Video games make me happy. Most of the video games I really want to play are not coming out for a year or so. I tell a lie, some are coming out very soon, but they're not the ones I'm obsessing over because they're not the ones that are far away.
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Soaps just seem to be full of rape victims being tormented by their rapists these days.

And on a similar note, the police were apparently around at my sister's the other day, because my MN and his arsehole little friend were 'perving on some girls'. On the one hand, I'm not surprised given that similar things have happened before. On the other hand, I genuinely never thought my nephew would be the type of boy who would hurt girls just to impress other boys. But here we are.
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The candle turned out to need a lot more coddling than I thought. A lot of propping up the wick with scissors was required to keep it out of the wax.

But you know, I think I might even miss it when it's gone.

My sister has asked my mum if she'll consider babysitting sometimes, so she can have some time to herself. My mum is sort of considering whether she'd rather go to my sister's for it, or have the kids over here. Apparently my sister is a lot better at the moment. Idk, I feel like it's my mum that needs the break, if anyone, and it'd be a bit much if my sister wants my parents to watch the kids every Saturday, or something. But we'll see if it improves things.

I keep catching snippets of Emmerdale and Coronation Street when I'm downstairs. They still seem to be focusing a lot on storylines that annoy me. Either taking some storylines super-seriously, or casually ignoring massive leaps of logic in others. Legit, who would be upset with someone who tried to kill Ken? Tried to end his tyranny? I could almost be interested if Daniel was allowed to be Random Academic Maniac, but no, he has to suffer, rather than be given a medal. It's bullshit.
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I finally married Shane in Stardew Valley. I found him a few mornings later in his little nook, contemplating whether to have a beer or a cider at 6am. I don't know why all our boyfriends have to be so unfulfilled and alienated.

My ON is down at the moment. Apparently his dad is moving out today. Or meeting with a landlord at least - my mum's not convinced he'll actually be gone right away, but still. It's something? Things moving on at least. We'll still have to wait and see how things are when it's just my sister and the kids living on their own, but yeah, it'll be a change. And I'm glad he's going.

I'm sort of happy about the next few weeks. After today, I have a short week at work, then another long week, and then I have a week off. And it'll be E3, so the current games news drought will be over, and we'll find out way more about a few games that have been announced lately. There's a wild shooter coming out that pits you against a militant cult in rural America, and apparently according to some people on the internet, that's true racism. Whereas previous games in the series being set in Africa, a South Pacific Island, and Asia, and having you fight Africans, Pacific Islanders, and Asians definitely wasn't. It's weird when people show how nothing they are.

And in the meantime, Wonder Woman is coming out, which I'm going to see, a new series of Camp Camp is starting, Tekken 7's out, the Elder Scrolls Online's Morrowind is coming out, and the Let's Play company I watch are bringing out a new game-focused podcast show, which is nice, because I was just thinking recently how much I miss the old one they did. The format of the new show seems a little annoying, but eh, we'll see. Of course, in the middle of that we're going to have an election (which I still think they should postpone), which will probably have a very depressing result, but. Apart from that giant blemish, it looks like a nice few weeks.

I wish there was some way I could show you the Justice League poster I got in a comic a few weeks back, and has been sitting next to my keyboard ever since. It's most of the male members posing like they're members of a boyband. And then just Batman being a freak. Never change, Batman.
girlofprey: (R for raygun)
I did it. I finally found the base post of a joke I've been laughing at for about a year now.

That was me yesterday, only instead of skipping breakfast, it was me thinking I'd just catch a train home from Lancaster.

It was appalling. When we got to the station, it said my train was delayed, but not by how much, but I figured it would only be a few minutes at most. It turned out it was delayed because of a trespasser on the line, which due to the time of year and how long it took them to resolve it, I'm going to now assume was someone trying to kill themselves, which is really sad. But it meant we were just stood about at Lancaster station for an hour, with them every now and then making announcements that the train was still delayed, they still didn't know how long it would be till it arrived, and then trespasser was still on the tracks. The best part was, the problem was happening at Morecambe, which was nowhere on my route home, but our train was coming from Morecambe, so we just couldn't get going till it was done. They cancelled 2 trains to Morecambe over the next hour, and started talking about replacement bus services. I stood out on a freezing cold platform for about 25 minutes before I realised that what with the cold and all, that probably wasn't the best plan, then went and had a chocolate brownie from Costa and sat in the passenger's lounge. My mum called, and my phone died, but happily there was a plug socket right in front of me in the waiting room, and I managed to charge it up enough for it to last the rest of my journey home. Finally, after an hour, they announced that a (delayed) train to Preston would have a connection to Leeds, so anyone who'd been planning to get on my train should probably get on that. Which was no easy feat, because it was packed to the rafters, particularly around the doorways - and not really in the aisles, so clearly people just didn't want to move. But eventually we got to Preston, and eventually we got on a train to Leeds that wasn't too packed, and I managed to give my parents some idea when I was getting home so I could get a lift from our local station. And the scenery was really beautiful in the sunset and the twilight. So it wasn't all bad. I did try to have a nap on that train and then as soon as I sat up from it ended up coughing my lungs up, while everyone on the carriage looked at me like I was Patient Zero, including a Brenda Blethyn-looking woman at my table. But anyway. After a short, cold stay at Leeds station, I managed to finally get home.

Home was a slightly different story. I'd been expecting all the sympathy from my mum cos I was ill, and when I told her about it on the phone she said she'd go out and try to get me all the cold remedies. Which I thought was odd, because usually she just gives me whatever's in the cupboard. But when I told her I was going to take the next few days off work, she looked at me in horror, because she'd thought I would just take all the cold remedies till I was all dosed up, and then go into work. She's been fretting about sickness at work and self-certification notes all day, which doesn't really help my anxiety. But I think she has a slightly overblown sense of what rational self-sacrifice is, so I am just not taking her advice. I feel way better now than I did on Saturday, but I think I'm going to take tomorrow off as well just to recover, and then try to go back in on Thursday. My boss has been super lovely about it.

I put the sides back on my new computer tower yesterday. In a show of either confidence, or not wanting to be bothered, my dad said I could do it, and I did. It makes it look very finished and beautiful. I'm currently trying to make a Windows 10 boot disk, even though I can't authenticate it, or do pretty much anything, without internet. But I'm going to try to maybe find a place for the tower, and plug in my keyboard and mouse. No word yet on the ethernet extender my dad was talking about, which is how I'm going to get internet, but it does feel like things are moving on at a decent pace.
girlofprey: (R for raygun)
I just spent 40 minutes trying to download a Windows 10 installation file to hopefully use on my new PC tomorrow, with my netbook struggling to load everything and unable to use a mouse because I only have one USB port and I needed it for the flash drive - figuring out the download tool, deciding which edition of Windows I wanted, researching my CPU to see whether I needed a 32-bit or 64-bit version - only for the download tool to repeatedly tell me I didn't have a flash drive attached to my computer, when I did, I could see it.

alskdjsalkfjaskdlvmnmd.

Also my MN spent quite a lot of today calling us all fat pigs and telling us he was going to kill everyone of us, merry Christmas.
girlofprey: (Christmas Whale)
Christmas whale.

It doesn't feel very Christmas-y though. I don't know if it's the mild weather or the fact I'm working, so that takes up most of my time, but it's true. Or maybe it's that people are still reeling in shock from all the politics stuff, so no-one's really in the spirit. Watching Sky News all day really doesn't make me feel too Christmas-y. But anyway, it's true. I can sing Christmas carols to my heart's abandon, even though I don't feel like it, and yesterday I tried to think of even one and could only come up with 'Greensleeves'. Anyway. I'm going to have to do some Christmas shopping soon too, although I don't know when. I have an idea for something to get my mother, and I have the money for it this year too - but it does mean I'll probably need to get my dad something of a similar value, and I don't know what that is. Plus the kids. It's my YN's birthday in less than two weeks. Although I do have a present from last year that I never used hidden away in a drawer. Maybe that will have to do.

After all my worrying about how much time I have these days (despite my claims to the contrary), they're asking me to work extra hours next week, because the morning receptionist is on holiday. I awkwardly explained to my boss that I have OCD and find changes to my routine hard, so I couldn't say I was raring to do it, but I would. He was very nice about it, and said maybe I wouldn't find it as bad as I thought it would be, so we could take about covering in future after that. The thing is it's not the work, it's the amount of time outside of work I'm going to have. They want me to go in for 11 - and really, I think he was hoping for 10 - which means I won't have to get up any earlier, but I won't have time to have a shower on a morning like I usually do, and I won't be able to stay up a little late, because if I sleep in it will really fuck me. So I'll have less time of an evening. But maybe it's only my expectation of what I'm going to get done in a day that really upsets me, and if I let go of that it will be okay, or better at least. And it is only for a week. But the morning receptionist is pregnant, and so she's going to be off for months shortly, and I really don't think I can do that, no matter how well next week goes. I came to this job very much as a part-time job. But like I say, they've been very nice and flexible so far, so we'll see.

Things I have been doing: playing Final Fantasy XV. It's a game that's taken 10 years to come out, so it felt very special to pick it up on day one. And the game had a little leaflet in the front, which was a print-out of a thank you note signed by everyone on the team that made it. Which was lovely. I wanted to get my own opinion of it, rather than just having to listen to all the reviews and whether it was a 'real' Final Fantasy game or not. And I really like it. It's very atmospheric, and everything sort of feels like it goes together, which is hard thing to explain but really makes a game feel special for me. When the story and the characters and the mechanics all seem to work together, and nothing's jarring or feels too 'video-gamey', like it's just a set of mechanics. I really like the combat too, which is cool, because a few of the demos felt very janky. I haven't really touched the story yet, but I'm really enjoying it so far. And really, having everything work together is a real achievement for a game that was in development for so long. Well done to them.

Also, I have been reading the original Superman comic strips. They are amazing. Superman does not give a fuck. The first strip involves him going to see a governor in the middle of the night, who has a SOLID STEEL bedroom door. And the butler's like "haha, just try to get through that", and Superman's like "haha, I will" and rips it apart. Then the butler tries to SHOOT SUPERMAN. Like a fool. But Superman just laughs it off. And then saves a woman who was about to be wrongly executed for something she didn't do. It's great. Of interest to me: Jonathan and Martha Kent were not in the story from the beginning. Superman was raised in an orphanage, where they were like "golly!" about his super-strength, but decided not to say anything about it. But Lois Lane was there from strip one. And she is amazing. An example of their dialogue:

Clark: "Why is it you always avoid me at the office?"
Lois: "Please Clark! I've been scribbling 'sob stories' all day long. Don't ask me to dish out another."

Interestingly, I guess because of the time, Clark Kent is the star reporter at the Daily Star, and Lois is a 'sob sister', which basically means an agony aunt/writer of the sentimental pieces. She's pretty mad about it though. Perry White won't put her on a story about a dam bursting, so she tricks Clark and goes anyway. But then she nearly drowns in the flood and Superman has to save her, so it's not like it's super feminist. But still, she's great. And Clark is all about her. Which is quite lovely.

I get paid today, so I can continue to buy computer parts and actually try and get the thing built. Woo hoo. Also the tax credits place have written back to me, and now they want to pay me £380 a month instead of £390. Which is fine. Still seems bizarre to me, and I suspect it won't last past April, when the new tax year starts, and all my 'freshly working, was recently on ESA' stuff won't really apply. But I've queried it, and they've said it's all fine, so it's very welcome. Given that I'll probably be fine on my wage, I can just put it into my savings account. And then, if they decide they DID make a mistake, it will all just be there anyway to give back to them, and I will be mad, but it will be doable.

Meanwhile the company my company's working for is losing money every year, apparently, so I don't know how safe my job is, and my sister's partner's firm went bust, and I thought he'd been taken on by the firm that took over from them, but apparently everyone except him and his friend got picked back up, so he isn't working. And Christmas is coming, and my sister just got a £150 fine for not showing up to an anger management course they said she had to go on after assaulting a woman last year. So it's all a bit up in the air. But we're out of the depths or recession, say the Conservatives! So hooray. My sister and her family are moving into the new house this weekend apparently. They can't afford to pay my parent's rent yet, obviously, but they will at least be in there. So that's something, I guess.
girlofprey: (R for raygun)
I've been in London for a few days, seeing my friend Sarah and [livejournal.com profile] jekesta and [livejournal.com profile] alicamel and [livejournal.com profile] slemslempike, and not been sleeping super comfortably because we were mostly on couches. I was really looking forward to getting back to my own big bed, and I got in it last night - and realised my cat had been in my room and weed in it. And I had to go sleep in our little bedroom where my nephews sleep when they stay over.

I wasn't about to wake my mum about it, so instead she got what sounded like the quite scary experience of going in my room this morning, and seeing it empty, completely made up, and missing the pillow, because my nephews don't always love to be clean so I decided not to put my head on theirs. But anyway. She found me, and I told her about it, and hopefully it will all be resolved by tonight. It does mean I can't play on my PS4 though, because it's at the end of my bed, so I have to sit on my bed to do it.

Also my MN got suspended from school (/his special unit) again for punching a teacher, he had a CAMHS appointment today and my sister slept in so my mum is having to take him, my mum spilled superglue all over our fancy granite worktops in the kitchen, and everything just seems to have gone to pot while I've been gone.

London was lovely though.
girlofprey: (R for raygun)
I was interrupted from a video game about an hour ago by a call from security at our local bus station. My ON had been fighting, or someone had been hitting him, on his school bus, and he either called the only number he knew off by heart or just decided to call my mum instead of his. Unfortunately, my mum's at work all day, so I took the bus station's number and passed it on to my sister instead.

Ten minutes ago, he knocked on our door. I thought he was distraught over the fight or something, but actually he just wanted to play competitive Minecraft at our house, since he 'usually' comes down on a Friday to do it (and a Tuesday, and a Monday.) I told him no, and to go home and talk to his mother about this fight, perhaps.

Being an aunt is suddenly a bit like being a mother, and I'm not enjoying it very much.
girlofprey: (R for raygun)
My nephew is back.
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