Barty Crouch Jr post

[girlofprey]

ICONLOVE!

Yesterday I did lots of reading. But more importantly, I was wearing all clean clothes! Even my socks and jeans, which I'd just washed. And I'd had a shower so was in fact clean myself also. I thought it was worth reporting.

EVEN MY SOCKS omg.

Saturday night's television pleased me also. Family Guy had the dog predicting Stewie would give up his plans for World Domination at 18 when he meets 'a rough trick named Jim', and American Dad had mpreg. Teenage mpreg. Teenage ALIEN mpreg. It was all very special. And then on Rome last night a man picked up another man when he was drunk and held him and called him 'lamb'. TV is so good to me.

But down to business. Alright, you all know how it goes. I see a character I like love WOULD DIE FOR, I get a fandom. There's a period of confusion in which I can only talk about how pretty they are and imagine them in any swirling number of slashy pairings. Then things settle down, I start imagining them with an actual brain, and actually plotting out the pairings, however random.

I'm roughly at this point with Barty Crouch Jr. He is insane, but also quite cold and intelligent - ocassionally he even realises he's insane and checks himself. Post-movie mostly characters are eyeing him and thinking 'wow. He was a little crazy before, but now HE SO CRAZY! Hardcore!'. I'm imagining him pre-trial a lot too. Mostly he has cold, sexy meetings with his father's Ministry of Magic buddies, and may or may not be having sex with Amos Diggory, I haven't decided yet.

(I'm still squeeing over him of course. Post third-watching impressions: I LOVE HIS BOOTS! I LOVE HIS FALL INTO STACKS OF PAPER! VOLDEMORT STROKED PETER'S HAIR FOR BEING 'USEFUL', WHAT WOULD HE DO TO BARTY!?!)

And then comes the disturbing OTP - apparently here it's Barty Crouch Jr/Mad-Eye Moody. 'Heart-Shaped Box' is their theme-song, and probably post-movie torture, manipulation and father issues will come into a lot. Yes.

And then the inevitable slightly surreal mpreg bunny. Which aegflota, for better or worse, just kicked off bigstyle (badstyle?). It is thus:

Post-movie. Barty Crouch Jr being restrained in a chair, Dementor approaching - but omg, it's showing a lot of interest in his stomach (dessert!). Dumbledore realises something's off and puts a stop to the whole thing (probably you can't do this with Dementors and I should read the books but IT'S MY BUNNY!). Investigations are carried out, and oh yes, BCJ is knocked up, and temporarily saved, to his slight relief. But who's the daddy? Because he ain't talking. In various revelations it turns out there are a whole bunch of candidates, staff and students and miscellaneous alike, because he's been wrong!sexing most everyone - hey, he just got out of Azkaban/some form of imprisonment, and his only company before that was foetus!Voldemort and Wormtail. I know I'd be out for all the action I could get.

Anyhow, no-one quite knows what to do. Barty maintains that the baby must be Voldemort's THROUGH THE SHEER POWER OF WILL. He's put in Snape's custody, uneasily and probably slashily(ETA: Oh! Barty/Snape/Moody OT3!), and after a series of tests they discover the 'father' is Moody - a shock, as it's the only person he DIDN'T have sex with. He might have kicked him a few times, for good measure and old grudges, but he's still a gentleman. But it turns out drinking potions made with his DNA 24/7 for nine months or so can have some unprecedented side-effects, which Snape will probably get quite snarky about, and there they are. Moody's been hanging around for a while anyway, to keep an eye on the little bastard lad, and after some shock, he decides to do right by him and the baby. Barty mostly rolls his eyes about this. They have lots of arguments about whether the child should be raised Auror or Death Eater - Barty loses most of these through virtue of not wanting to get soul-sucked. They live together, for 'convenience', by which I mean more convenient and bitchy arguments, and - I can't see this ending well but SOMEHOW EVERYTHING IS ALL RIGHT.

Probably I won't write any of these, or not for a while anyway (ESSAYS, omg). But - they're so shiny in my head! ::pets them::

Kill me now.