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Apr. 19th, 2020 01:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
girlofpreyI thought I'd mentioned my dad's colleague who was in hospital, but looking back through my entries I don't think I did. He did have the coronavirus, or at least all the symptoms. And he was in hospital for a while before he died. And now apparently one of the nurses at our district hospital has died. Which is making everything much more immediate and scary.
But you try to get by, don't you? So far lockdown has been very odd for me, because it's pretty similar to how things were when I was depressed and not working. Except without the constant mental anguish. More justified anxiety, though. But I'm still mostly watching Youtube videos and playing video games, and staring at my four walls. Honestly wish I could do something more fulfilling with my time, but it also feels weird to no longer give views to the Youtube channel I rely on pretty heavily for entertainment when we're not in a crisis, who will also be struggling right now. They are also based in Texas, so who knows what their lives will turn into shortly. I know I don't owe them anything, but it still feels weirdly guilt-inducing when they're still there putting out videos everyday, livestreaming for hours. Also you just get into a rut. Honestly, the daily walk makes things slightly more upbeat than when I was more or less housebound from depression. And the weather is genuinely lovely. I must have a fairly specific form of SADS, because just looking at sunshine genuinely makes me feel happier.
Things are crazy in America. I am sorry for everyone on my flist who lives in America.
Mum has talked about quitting her job, or speaking to occupational health about what she can and can't tolerate in the role at the moment, but she hasn't done either, just continues to go into work. To be fair, where she works is not likely to turn into the epicentre, and she seems very definite about refusing to go to our district hospital if they ask her to go work there. So we'll just see how things go. I think we were all feeling very positive about how things are going with the pandemic, but then mum saw a news piece about how things are in Italy at the moment, who are supposed to be two weeks ahead of us, and it doesn't make things look hopeful for two weeks from now. Plus the fact that we've been running out of PPE since the pandemic started, and even critical places like hospitals are on track to run out very shortly. Things may well be going okay in the health service at the moment, but if we run out of PPE, supplies, equipment and - to be fair - staff, then maybe things won't be so okay.
But you try to get through it, like I say.
But you try to get by, don't you? So far lockdown has been very odd for me, because it's pretty similar to how things were when I was depressed and not working. Except without the constant mental anguish. More justified anxiety, though. But I'm still mostly watching Youtube videos and playing video games, and staring at my four walls. Honestly wish I could do something more fulfilling with my time, but it also feels weird to no longer give views to the Youtube channel I rely on pretty heavily for entertainment when we're not in a crisis, who will also be struggling right now. They are also based in Texas, so who knows what their lives will turn into shortly. I know I don't owe them anything, but it still feels weirdly guilt-inducing when they're still there putting out videos everyday, livestreaming for hours. Also you just get into a rut. Honestly, the daily walk makes things slightly more upbeat than when I was more or less housebound from depression. And the weather is genuinely lovely. I must have a fairly specific form of SADS, because just looking at sunshine genuinely makes me feel happier.
Things are crazy in America. I am sorry for everyone on my flist who lives in America.
Mum has talked about quitting her job, or speaking to occupational health about what she can and can't tolerate in the role at the moment, but she hasn't done either, just continues to go into work. To be fair, where she works is not likely to turn into the epicentre, and she seems very definite about refusing to go to our district hospital if they ask her to go work there. So we'll just see how things go. I think we were all feeling very positive about how things are going with the pandemic, but then mum saw a news piece about how things are in Italy at the moment, who are supposed to be two weeks ahead of us, and it doesn't make things look hopeful for two weeks from now. Plus the fact that we've been running out of PPE since the pandemic started, and even critical places like hospitals are on track to run out very shortly. Things may well be going okay in the health service at the moment, but if we run out of PPE, supplies, equipment and - to be fair - staff, then maybe things won't be so okay.
But you try to get through it, like I say.
