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Oct. 15th, 2010 02:35 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
girlofpreyI love Nathan Wylde. I love him. This is a bit 'diluted' sort of, because we had my youngest nephew as usual today until 8 o'clock-ish, so when I got back I had to catch up on Hollyoaks, then Emmerdale, then Coronation Street, then True Blood, all at once. But oh god. Nathan's mother got back from her holiday, and she was all 'hello, darling', and he was a bit cool with her, and then he revealed that Faye had told him the offer Faye had made to Natasha - to stop contesting the will, and let Natasha and her other two kids have their inheritance, if Natasha 'admitted' (they think) that Nathan killed his dad - which Natasha hadn't told Nathan about. And he seemed pretty convinced that she hadn't told him because she'd been thinking about doing it. She claimed that she hadn't thought about it, which I kind of believed, but said she hadn't told him because she didn't want to 'upset' him with it. Which is the same reason she gave for telling him she killed his dad accidentally, instead of that she deliberately killed him. So okay, Natasha. But he was still a bit convinced she was thinking of selling him out, and I can't really blame him at this stage, and she insisted that dude, no. She didn't like to think it, but she'd probably already lost his sister. She wasn't about to lose him too. And she put her hand on his, and it was kind of lovely, and I want to believe she loves him and properly meant it, but it's so hard to trust Natasha at this point.
Then - Nathan's sister Maisie came back last night, and went to see her innocent half-brother in prison, to tell him she was going to testify even if she had no proof, and to at least try to help him. And tonight she came back to the Wyldes' house to talk to Natasha, to tell her that she was testifying and going to tell the truth, and asking Natasha to do the same. And Natasha kept trying to insist Nathan didn't do it, and that Maisie didn't know anything, but when Maisie (I think) asked her to tell her the truth then, she didn't. Then Nathan came back and immediately overheard Maisie calling him a murderer, and came in, and Maisie refused to stay in the same house with him and ran off. He tried to go after her, Natasha told him he would only make things worse, and he said "How could they get any worse?". FAIR POINT, Nathan. Then, we saw him in their living room, staring at a picture of his dad on the mantelpiece, and then looking down with an insane/hysterical smile and laugh, and oh god, he's doing such a good (soap) portrayal of someone slowly losing their mind. And Natasha came in and said some stuff, but he again ignored her and went off.
Then we cut to Maisie getting to her dad's first/other wife Faye's house, crying, and Faye told her to come inside, just as Nathan came speeding up, asking if this was really who she'd rather spend time with than her real family and trying to drag her away by the arm. She said she wasn't scared of him, and accused him of murder again, and he shouted that he didn't do it, and was SO CLOSE TO SAYING THE TRUTH, IT SOUNDED LIKE, until Natasha suddenly popped up all 'Nathan!'. Maisie said she wasn't scared of him like their mum was, and he was all 'scared?', and she said 'obviously, why else would she be protecting you?'. AND OH MY GOD, THERE IS NO OTHER REASON, HE IS PROTECTING HER, OH MY GOD. And then he just started shouting that he did it for her and Will (his brother), everything he did he did for her and Will, and she and Faye were like 'and what did you do?'. But Natasha was there. And he said that Maisie knew him better than anyone, better than their dad - I love even though I don't exactly understand why that he specified their dad - and that she knew in her heart of hearts that he wasn't capable of this. And then he - sort of gave up. I don't know. He and Natasha left, him just staring at Maisie one last time with his eyes, all 'Seriously, I DIDN'T DO IT'. And Maisie went inside, and he and Natasha drove off.
Inside Faye's house, Faye was telling Maisie everything was all right, and it was important for her to stay strong, and something. And Maisie was just like 'But what if he was telling the truth?? He said he'd done it for me and Will, what did he mean? He said that I knew him better than anyone, better than even dad, why would he say that if he wasn't serious about it?' And she said that for a minute there while he was shouting it was like she had her real brother back, and OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH, NATHAN, MAISIE. And Faye was just like 'no, he totally did it' and I HATE that people have just turned up assuming they know the Wyldes and Nathan better than they would know themselves, I know that partly it's because they are assuming the Wyldes are NORMAL PEOPLE with a NORMAL FAMILY SITUATION, and it's not like Nathan wouldn't seem INCREDIBLY GUILTY to any outside part, probably, but OH MY GOD. They are SO CONVINCED and ALSO WRONG and it is slightly unbearable. Faye kept insisting that Nathan had tried to scare her, because he's SUCH A VICIOUS MONSTER, and when that hadn't worked he'd tried to push her emotional buttons, because he knew how and thought it would work. But Maisie kept insisting, and Faye eventually seemed to believe her, and said well, he said everything he'd done he'd done for Maisie and Will, so what exactly had he done? And Maisie said that she did know him better than anyone, and that if something was going on and he was caught up in it, then the only one who'd be able to get through to him was her, so she had to try. IT WAS SO LOVELY, I SHIP NATHAN/MAISIE QUITE A BIT SOMETIMES.
BUT MEANWHILE, IN NATASHA'S HOUSE OF EVIL, Natasha and Nathan had got back to the house and gone into their dining room to have a chat. I can't even remember how it started - but it basically ended up with Nathan saying how Natasha didn't really seem to understand how hard this had been for him, making sure she was all right, and keeping it together, and that she stuck to the plan. And she was all 'Dude. Are you kidding? Stick to the plan? IF YOU HAD STUCK TO THE PLAN, THE RIGHT PERSON WOULD HAVE BEEN FRAMED FOR THE CRIME INSTEAD OF THE WRONG PERSON, AND IF YOU HADN'T BLACKMAILED ME, MY NEW NOW EX-BOYFRIEND WOULDN'T BE IN OUR LIVES.' Calmly not mentioning the fact that if she hadn't shot her husband there wouldn't be a murder to cover up, and IF SHE HAD GONE TO THE POLICE WHEN SHE TOLD NATHAN SHE'D KILLED HIS DAD AND HE WANTED TO GO TO THE POLICE, NONE OF THIS WOULD BE HAPPENING. And he said like 'wow, you've really thought this through', and she told him they'd had too many moments like this, and it didn't wash with her anymore. She told him he was the worst loose cannon ever, and he was all 'thanks', and she said, I can't remember, but basically that she had enough to do without feeding his ego as well. I CAN'T BELIEVE NATASHA, I CAN'T BELIEVE HER. HE IS HER SON AND SHE LIED TO HIM SO HE'D HELP HER COVER UP HIS DAD'S MURDER, AND NOW SHE IS ALL CRITIQUING HIS COVER-UP SKILLS WHILE ALSO BITCHING HIM OUT FOR HOW HORRIBLE THE THINGS HE IS DOING ARE, HELLO, NATASHA, HELLO. OBVIOUSLY HIS COVER-UP SKILLS ARE NOT THE GREATEST, HE IS SOMETIMES KIND OF AN IDIOT, BUT HE HAS SO MANY REASONS FOR ACTING A BIT IRRATIONALLY. SO MANY REASONS.
And she said something about how it wasn't all about him, it hadn't been easy for anyone. And he was all 'Easy?? My dad's dead, [something else awful], I'm on the points of losing my inheritance, and my sister hates my guts'. And how having his innocent half-brother (who he hates) go down for something she did was only slightly recompense for how he was feeling. Which, idk, partly that sounded like he still considered having Ryan go to jail was sort of a plus for him, just not enough of a plus. Although it's basically canon that he hates him that much. But maybe they were doing some sort of subtext thing I had missed where he thought Natasha was suggesting he'd wrecked the plan and got himself into this mess by trying to get specific revenge on Ryan. Which is possibly true, but he was still doing all of it for her or at least at her request, and to protect Maisie and Will, like she was constantly insisting he should do (by helping her cover up the murder).
Anyway. He ran into the living room after saying that, and she eventually followed him in, and he was crying, and he had his sleeves over his hands like Logan Echolls did that one time in Veronica Mars, and OH MY GOD. And Natasha came in and sat down next to him, and told him how she understood, really, she understood how he'd been feeling, and she hadn't been fair to him, and they could deal with it now, how he was feeling and everything. And she seemed genuine, and I really want to believe that Natasha loves him, really, and wants to help him, but I also can't ignore the fact that it's really in her best interests to make sure he's not about to have a breakdown, or blurt out the truth, or do something to wreck up their plan. And she really only seems to have these conversations with him when he's ABSOLUTELY LAID IT ON THE LINE that he is feeling really bad and struggling with everything. But she came in, and said she hadn't been fair to him, and he kept making remarks about how he was terrible at sticking to the plan, and a 'loose cannon', and she said no, she wasn't being fair when she said that, and he was all 'well, that's not what you just said'. And he said that no, actually, he was a loose cannon, probably the loosest cannon.
And she said that they really had to make sure that what happened today never happened again, and oh my god, Natasha. And he said 'yeah, when the red mist descends' - and just. Lyndon Ogbourne has said in at least one interview that a lot of what Nathan does is so twisted, and that he probably scares himself sometimes, with how far he'd go. And there was that scene after he attacked/sexually assaulted Faye where Natasha was pressing him about it, and he did just look a little bit in denial and scared and said 'maybe I did go a little bit too far', like he couldn't really bring himself to think about how awful what he did truly was, but he knew about it on some level, he knew that it really was terrible. And just the idea that he does know how bad the things he does are, but not until afterwards, and he can't seem to stop himself, and then he just can't really think about it too much because it's just too awful, so he just goes on doing terrible things, and oh. Oh god.
But anyway. He said that the thing was, he'd meant everything he'd said to Maisie. That he'd done some bad things, but that murder really wasn't in his repertoire. And Natasha said that she didn't think it was in hers, and I know that she is probably feeling bad about killing Mark, and I know that she was sort of making the point that anybody can be capable of it, but what, Natasha? Was she trying to say he was as bad as her really, and should stick with her and help her out, he just hadn't actually committed a murder yet? The fact is that Natasha murdered someone, and Nathan didn't, god. But Nathan didn't really buy it, he said that she'd been wrong about herself then, and that was the difference between him and her, that she'd already gone as low as she could go, there was no saving her - but he could still be saved. And he said that yes, he did a lot of stupid things, but that sometimes, every now and then, he could do the sensible thing. And she asked him what that was, and he said he was going to go to Maisie, and tell her the truth. And Natasha said fine. Tell her. But if you tell her that, you'll have to tell her how you covered up the murder. You'll have to tell her everything. Where he went when he went away, and why they had no money (and he did blackmail her, I know he did, but it was in such a not-really-like-that way and in such a terrible situation that it's really hard to explain, but oh my god). And she said that he'd have to tell her about how they framed Ryan. And if he told her one bit of the truth, he have to tell her all of it. And that was true, but he was clearly in such a state, and he really wanted to do the right thing, for once, and do the right thing by his sister, and again maybe Natasha was being honest and laying it on the line for him, but also maybe she was just trying to stop him from doing something that would ruin her life and get her sent to prison. And she said that he could tell Maisie the whole truth, but he knew that it would destroy her, and what they had left of their family. Again, the same reasons she gave as to why he should help her cover up the murder in the first place.
And then the next scene we came to with them, Nathan was sitting on the sofa, and he just looked ill. Like, mentally ill. Like he was under so much pressure he couldn't really think or experience emotion anymore. And Natasha just leaned in from where she was sitting beside him, and told him that he knew now, he knew that what he had to do was just keep lying, and he'd been crying, he'd been crying basically all the way through the previous scenes, a little bit. But then he just broke down, and put his head on her chest, and properly sobbed. OH MY GOD NATHAN OH GOD I LOVE HIM OH GOD NATHAN NATHAN NATHAN.
A lot of when he was talking about how he was feeling came off a little bit whingey, but that is basically his character, as a slightly spoiled, twisted posh boy. And so much of it was just horrendous. And he has SO MANY REASONS TO BE UNHAPPY WITH HIS MOTHER'S TREATMENT AND HIS CURRENT SITUATION. And, in character terms, so few ways of dealing with them emotionally. And most of his life is just so awful. If this storyline does not turn out to be about how Natasha lied through her teeth to emotionally manipulate her already slightly unstable son to make sure she stayed out of jail - or at the very least was in so much denial she made herself believe any reason she could think of why it was for the best that she stay out of jail, without caring what it would do to her son - then I really don't think I understand it at all. I would like to believe that on some level she loves Nathan, and all of her kids. But she makes it so hard to believe that. Oh my god. He cried on her chest and she put her hand on his head, and I really can't think of anyone I would least want to send Nathan to for emotional support. I can't believe Natasha. One little bit.
Then - Nathan's sister Maisie came back last night, and went to see her innocent half-brother in prison, to tell him she was going to testify even if she had no proof, and to at least try to help him. And tonight she came back to the Wyldes' house to talk to Natasha, to tell her that she was testifying and going to tell the truth, and asking Natasha to do the same. And Natasha kept trying to insist Nathan didn't do it, and that Maisie didn't know anything, but when Maisie (I think) asked her to tell her the truth then, she didn't. Then Nathan came back and immediately overheard Maisie calling him a murderer, and came in, and Maisie refused to stay in the same house with him and ran off. He tried to go after her, Natasha told him he would only make things worse, and he said "How could they get any worse?". FAIR POINT, Nathan. Then, we saw him in their living room, staring at a picture of his dad on the mantelpiece, and then looking down with an insane/hysterical smile and laugh, and oh god, he's doing such a good (soap) portrayal of someone slowly losing their mind. And Natasha came in and said some stuff, but he again ignored her and went off.
Then we cut to Maisie getting to her dad's first/other wife Faye's house, crying, and Faye told her to come inside, just as Nathan came speeding up, asking if this was really who she'd rather spend time with than her real family and trying to drag her away by the arm. She said she wasn't scared of him, and accused him of murder again, and he shouted that he didn't do it, and was SO CLOSE TO SAYING THE TRUTH, IT SOUNDED LIKE, until Natasha suddenly popped up all 'Nathan!'. Maisie said she wasn't scared of him like their mum was, and he was all 'scared?', and she said 'obviously, why else would she be protecting you?'. AND OH MY GOD, THERE IS NO OTHER REASON, HE IS PROTECTING HER, OH MY GOD. And then he just started shouting that he did it for her and Will (his brother), everything he did he did for her and Will, and she and Faye were like 'and what did you do?'. But Natasha was there. And he said that Maisie knew him better than anyone, better than their dad - I love even though I don't exactly understand why that he specified their dad - and that she knew in her heart of hearts that he wasn't capable of this. And then he - sort of gave up. I don't know. He and Natasha left, him just staring at Maisie one last time with his eyes, all 'Seriously, I DIDN'T DO IT'. And Maisie went inside, and he and Natasha drove off.
Inside Faye's house, Faye was telling Maisie everything was all right, and it was important for her to stay strong, and something. And Maisie was just like 'But what if he was telling the truth?? He said he'd done it for me and Will, what did he mean? He said that I knew him better than anyone, better than even dad, why would he say that if he wasn't serious about it?' And she said that for a minute there while he was shouting it was like she had her real brother back, and OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH, NATHAN, MAISIE. And Faye was just like 'no, he totally did it' and I HATE that people have just turned up assuming they know the Wyldes and Nathan better than they would know themselves, I know that partly it's because they are assuming the Wyldes are NORMAL PEOPLE with a NORMAL FAMILY SITUATION, and it's not like Nathan wouldn't seem INCREDIBLY GUILTY to any outside part, probably, but OH MY GOD. They are SO CONVINCED and ALSO WRONG and it is slightly unbearable. Faye kept insisting that Nathan had tried to scare her, because he's SUCH A VICIOUS MONSTER, and when that hadn't worked he'd tried to push her emotional buttons, because he knew how and thought it would work. But Maisie kept insisting, and Faye eventually seemed to believe her, and said well, he said everything he'd done he'd done for Maisie and Will, so what exactly had he done? And Maisie said that she did know him better than anyone, and that if something was going on and he was caught up in it, then the only one who'd be able to get through to him was her, so she had to try. IT WAS SO LOVELY, I SHIP NATHAN/MAISIE QUITE A BIT SOMETIMES.
BUT MEANWHILE, IN NATASHA'S HOUSE OF EVIL, Natasha and Nathan had got back to the house and gone into their dining room to have a chat. I can't even remember how it started - but it basically ended up with Nathan saying how Natasha didn't really seem to understand how hard this had been for him, making sure she was all right, and keeping it together, and that she stuck to the plan. And she was all 'Dude. Are you kidding? Stick to the plan? IF YOU HAD STUCK TO THE PLAN, THE RIGHT PERSON WOULD HAVE BEEN FRAMED FOR THE CRIME INSTEAD OF THE WRONG PERSON, AND IF YOU HADN'T BLACKMAILED ME, MY NEW NOW EX-BOYFRIEND WOULDN'T BE IN OUR LIVES.' Calmly not mentioning the fact that if she hadn't shot her husband there wouldn't be a murder to cover up, and IF SHE HAD GONE TO THE POLICE WHEN SHE TOLD NATHAN SHE'D KILLED HIS DAD AND HE WANTED TO GO TO THE POLICE, NONE OF THIS WOULD BE HAPPENING. And he said like 'wow, you've really thought this through', and she told him they'd had too many moments like this, and it didn't wash with her anymore. She told him he was the worst loose cannon ever, and he was all 'thanks', and she said, I can't remember, but basically that she had enough to do without feeding his ego as well. I CAN'T BELIEVE NATASHA, I CAN'T BELIEVE HER. HE IS HER SON AND SHE LIED TO HIM SO HE'D HELP HER COVER UP HIS DAD'S MURDER, AND NOW SHE IS ALL CRITIQUING HIS COVER-UP SKILLS WHILE ALSO BITCHING HIM OUT FOR HOW HORRIBLE THE THINGS HE IS DOING ARE, HELLO, NATASHA, HELLO. OBVIOUSLY HIS COVER-UP SKILLS ARE NOT THE GREATEST, HE IS SOMETIMES KIND OF AN IDIOT, BUT HE HAS SO MANY REASONS FOR ACTING A BIT IRRATIONALLY. SO MANY REASONS.
And she said something about how it wasn't all about him, it hadn't been easy for anyone. And he was all 'Easy?? My dad's dead, [something else awful], I'm on the points of losing my inheritance, and my sister hates my guts'. And how having his innocent half-brother (who he hates) go down for something she did was only slightly recompense for how he was feeling. Which, idk, partly that sounded like he still considered having Ryan go to jail was sort of a plus for him, just not enough of a plus. Although it's basically canon that he hates him that much. But maybe they were doing some sort of subtext thing I had missed where he thought Natasha was suggesting he'd wrecked the plan and got himself into this mess by trying to get specific revenge on Ryan. Which is possibly true, but he was still doing all of it for her or at least at her request, and to protect Maisie and Will, like she was constantly insisting he should do (by helping her cover up the murder).
Anyway. He ran into the living room after saying that, and she eventually followed him in, and he was crying, and he had his sleeves over his hands like Logan Echolls did that one time in Veronica Mars, and OH MY GOD. And Natasha came in and sat down next to him, and told him how she understood, really, she understood how he'd been feeling, and she hadn't been fair to him, and they could deal with it now, how he was feeling and everything. And she seemed genuine, and I really want to believe that Natasha loves him, really, and wants to help him, but I also can't ignore the fact that it's really in her best interests to make sure he's not about to have a breakdown, or blurt out the truth, or do something to wreck up their plan. And she really only seems to have these conversations with him when he's ABSOLUTELY LAID IT ON THE LINE that he is feeling really bad and struggling with everything. But she came in, and said she hadn't been fair to him, and he kept making remarks about how he was terrible at sticking to the plan, and a 'loose cannon', and she said no, she wasn't being fair when she said that, and he was all 'well, that's not what you just said'. And he said that no, actually, he was a loose cannon, probably the loosest cannon.
And she said that they really had to make sure that what happened today never happened again, and oh my god, Natasha. And he said 'yeah, when the red mist descends' - and just. Lyndon Ogbourne has said in at least one interview that a lot of what Nathan does is so twisted, and that he probably scares himself sometimes, with how far he'd go. And there was that scene after he attacked/sexually assaulted Faye where Natasha was pressing him about it, and he did just look a little bit in denial and scared and said 'maybe I did go a little bit too far', like he couldn't really bring himself to think about how awful what he did truly was, but he knew about it on some level, he knew that it really was terrible. And just the idea that he does know how bad the things he does are, but not until afterwards, and he can't seem to stop himself, and then he just can't really think about it too much because it's just too awful, so he just goes on doing terrible things, and oh. Oh god.
But anyway. He said that the thing was, he'd meant everything he'd said to Maisie. That he'd done some bad things, but that murder really wasn't in his repertoire. And Natasha said that she didn't think it was in hers, and I know that she is probably feeling bad about killing Mark, and I know that she was sort of making the point that anybody can be capable of it, but what, Natasha? Was she trying to say he was as bad as her really, and should stick with her and help her out, he just hadn't actually committed a murder yet? The fact is that Natasha murdered someone, and Nathan didn't, god. But Nathan didn't really buy it, he said that she'd been wrong about herself then, and that was the difference between him and her, that she'd already gone as low as she could go, there was no saving her - but he could still be saved. And he said that yes, he did a lot of stupid things, but that sometimes, every now and then, he could do the sensible thing. And she asked him what that was, and he said he was going to go to Maisie, and tell her the truth. And Natasha said fine. Tell her. But if you tell her that, you'll have to tell her how you covered up the murder. You'll have to tell her everything. Where he went when he went away, and why they had no money (and he did blackmail her, I know he did, but it was in such a not-really-like-that way and in such a terrible situation that it's really hard to explain, but oh my god). And she said that he'd have to tell her about how they framed Ryan. And if he told her one bit of the truth, he have to tell her all of it. And that was true, but he was clearly in such a state, and he really wanted to do the right thing, for once, and do the right thing by his sister, and again maybe Natasha was being honest and laying it on the line for him, but also maybe she was just trying to stop him from doing something that would ruin her life and get her sent to prison. And she said that he could tell Maisie the whole truth, but he knew that it would destroy her, and what they had left of their family. Again, the same reasons she gave as to why he should help her cover up the murder in the first place.
And then the next scene we came to with them, Nathan was sitting on the sofa, and he just looked ill. Like, mentally ill. Like he was under so much pressure he couldn't really think or experience emotion anymore. And Natasha just leaned in from where she was sitting beside him, and told him that he knew now, he knew that what he had to do was just keep lying, and he'd been crying, he'd been crying basically all the way through the previous scenes, a little bit. But then he just broke down, and put his head on her chest, and properly sobbed. OH MY GOD NATHAN OH GOD I LOVE HIM OH GOD NATHAN NATHAN NATHAN.
A lot of when he was talking about how he was feeling came off a little bit whingey, but that is basically his character, as a slightly spoiled, twisted posh boy. And so much of it was just horrendous. And he has SO MANY REASONS TO BE UNHAPPY WITH HIS MOTHER'S TREATMENT AND HIS CURRENT SITUATION. And, in character terms, so few ways of dealing with them emotionally. And most of his life is just so awful. If this storyline does not turn out to be about how Natasha lied through her teeth to emotionally manipulate her already slightly unstable son to make sure she stayed out of jail - or at the very least was in so much denial she made herself believe any reason she could think of why it was for the best that she stay out of jail, without caring what it would do to her son - then I really don't think I understand it at all. I would like to believe that on some level she loves Nathan, and all of her kids. But she makes it so hard to believe that. Oh my god. He cried on her chest and she put her hand on his head, and I really can't think of anyone I would least want to send Nathan to for emotional support. I can't believe Natasha. One little bit.
