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Let me tell you about my family
Dec. 16th, 2012 11:24 pmSo, mum and I had an odd conversation today. It started out with Justin Lee Collins - there was a programme on he was narrating, and she said she was suprised they were giving him airtime, since he's been convicted of domestic abuse. Eventually we ended up talking about my sister, and the fact I think she is abusive. Then we ended up talking about the argument my sister and I had again. Apparently my sister has now, a year and three months after the fact, noticed that I'm not talking to her, and that I'm short with her when we do see each other. Mum and I discussed it again, and ended up agreeing, finally, that if my sister wants to talk about it, she should talk to me about it and not our mum.
Then I said something along the lines of how I wasn't prepared to put my feelings second for my sister, the way that I feel like I've been doing for our family for 17 years. My mum asked if she was included in that, and because I was being honest and felt like being honest about it, I said yes. Because I don't think anyone in the family really handled it well, except that I was a kid and didn't really handle it at all. She ended up crying, and then said she was sorry. And we had a hug, and I said it was fine, but that it would be nice if things were maybe different in the future. And then things were fine, pretty much. But it's odd to have said some of that stuff to her.
I have no idea what's going to come out of this situation. Maybe my sister will call me, and hopefully we can talk about it rather than argue about it, if she does. I'm starting to feel like maybe she's afraid to talk to me, for some reason, because she endlessly complains about mum being between us, and always protecting me, and yet whenever there's a problem between us, she talks to mum about it and asks her to sort it out. Hopefully we can talk about it. Otherwise it might be a very interesting Christmas. Or maybe it'll just never get mentioned again. Which is not ideal, but I'm fine with it as long as she doesn't harass me about it. Well, it's probably not going to work out really, in the long run. But I can't make her talk to me if she doesn't want to. Can I?
Then I said something along the lines of how I wasn't prepared to put my feelings second for my sister, the way that I feel like I've been doing for our family for 17 years. My mum asked if she was included in that, and because I was being honest and felt like being honest about it, I said yes. Because I don't think anyone in the family really handled it well, except that I was a kid and didn't really handle it at all. She ended up crying, and then said she was sorry. And we had a hug, and I said it was fine, but that it would be nice if things were maybe different in the future. And then things were fine, pretty much. But it's odd to have said some of that stuff to her.
I have no idea what's going to come out of this situation. Maybe my sister will call me, and hopefully we can talk about it rather than argue about it, if she does. I'm starting to feel like maybe she's afraid to talk to me, for some reason, because she endlessly complains about mum being between us, and always protecting me, and yet whenever there's a problem between us, she talks to mum about it and asks her to sort it out. Hopefully we can talk about it. Otherwise it might be a very interesting Christmas. Or maybe it'll just never get mentioned again. Which is not ideal, but I'm fine with it as long as she doesn't harass me about it. Well, it's probably not going to work out really, in the long run. But I can't make her talk to me if she doesn't want to. Can I?
