girlofprey | (no subject)

Well, I have been called up. I had a missed call on my phone this morning when I woke up, from my manager - called him back, and he said the place we work for is looking to reopen again on June 1st, so they were calling round everyone seeing what the situation was for people coming back in. Against all my assumptions - and to my manager's surprise - the one thing the business is specifically asking for is reception. So I have a decision to make. I asked quite straightforwardly if I was fired if I didn't want to go back, and he said he didn't know, he would have to ask that question, there was a lot of sympathy within the government guidelines. I mentioned my vulnerable-age-group parents and public transport. But he just said to think it over, which I will. They're not calling me back tomorrow, or even next week, at least. It's still a little surprising. At the moment, with the weather as lovely as it is and people I know having been relatively untouched by the pandemic, I feel like I could go back in. And they are paying me, which I like, and it is fair enough to actually earn the money I'm being paid. But I don't know how I'm going to feel actually going back in. Mum and dad don't see a problem with it, if the social distancing guidelines are followed, so at least they're not uncomfortable with the idea. I think I'm going to discuss it with my mental health worker tomorrow, and probably call my manager back and just ask what changes are in place to make it safe and follow guidelines. Also, I assume they're also insisting the cleaners come back? But he didn't make it sound like that. I don't even know if the rest of the office, or my manager, would be there if I went back.

Also I just had an argument with my parents about a package that arrived for me. My dad opened it, thinking it wouldn't be an infection risk with the contents inside - but joke's on him, because it was a book with a plastic dustjacket anyway. Then, while I was asking him what he'd done and while he'd done it, my mum decided to wipe the dustjacket down with a disinfectant wipe, including the bit inside the cover, which has possibly damaged the inside pages a bit. And I know there is very little infection risk and the damage is probably minor. But it's my package, and literally neither of them wanted to ask me what I wanted doing with it before they messed with it. I have a system, and even if it's an over-the-top system it's mine, and my decision. So now I've argued with them, and relations with my dad are probably frayed.

Also I was have kinky sex dreams about terminators last night. Also I've discovered my local games shop is open again, while looking for ways I could possibly support them online. I want to support them, but I wasn't expecting to be offered the chance to go back in as I did before, before the shops are even supposed to be opening again (maybe) on June 1st. I'm going to call them and see what the what is. I have to go into town this week to get my prescription anyway, so fuck it. May as well go around all the shops as well. And to be fair, given all the garden centres and furniture shops reopening immediately after Boris' last announcement, I've realised I no longer know what a 'shop' is anyway.

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It is a tricky decision to make about whether going into work is the best thing to do currently, and I wish you all the best in making an informed decision when all is said and done. ♥

Oh wow...I could see where that would cause an argument. 0_0; Especially since you did have a system already in place and everything. I'm sorry!

That is interesting about the game store, and I wish you all the best in perusing the shops and seeing what is and isn't open still. Just be sure to take care and stay safe! ♥

Thank you, I'm going to talk to my boss about it tomorrow.

lskdjfoijwes. Oh it's very weird and I'm sorry, and I know like you say it's totally fair to have to work for money but also it's awful and I think we're allowed to feel that. I don't know what to say. I think everything you've said about checking where you stand and talking to your mental health person is all the right stuff, and I hope something comes out that you're comfortable with. Public transport is going to be the strangest hardest thing I think.

I'm wondering now if they want me to be a cut-price sort of infection control - making sure no-one comes in the door without a mask, that sort of thing? Or maybe it's more important than ever to run the car park, because most people are being encouraged to drive in rather than use public transport. I just can't understand why they want me so badly when ideally few people should go in and out of the building. I'm surprised to be asked, and wish I hadn't been so I could just coast by on free money for a bit longer, but here we are. I'm not feeling too concerned about it at the moment - I've been doing some pretty good work on my mental health treatment at the moment, and have learned to deal with worry a bit better, and sort of feel it less (if that makes sense), so I'm probably feeling better about it than I would have done a few weeks ago. But when it does come to actually going in, and all the things that will have to be different, I might feel very differently. But I can try for a bit.

The public transport is indeed the hardest bit - if I could walk around to the office I wouldn't feel nearly as weird about it - but hopefully they're going to put a lot of things in place for public safety anyway. I'm relying on Northern Rail here, which is probably not a good idea, but can't do much else than have ridiculous amounts of faith. All the train times are changing on Monday though apparently, so I'll have to wait till then to see if I can even get in on time the same as I used to.