girlofprey (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
girlofprey) wrote2018-09-23 02:49 pm
girlofprey) wrote2018-09-23 02:49 pm
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Well, I tried to go to my doctor on Friday. I woke up at five past eight, which wasn't bad considering I'm not great at even getting up later than that at the moment, and I fought through many an engaged dialtone to finally get to speak to someone at around quarter past eight. I explained my issues, and she went on hold, and then she came back to basically tell me that usually a problem like that would be seen by their AMT - whatever that is - but at the moment she was off sick, so they suggested I go to the Urgent Treatment Centre instead. The Urgent Treatment Centre is what we have now instead of an A&E in our town - I lied before when I said I went to the A&E over my eye, the powers that be have decided that a UTC is all we're getting at the moment. So they basically told me to go elsewhere. And I'm not quite sure even now if they meant "we have no more doctor's appointments left for today, and the other woman who could see you is away", or "your problem doesn't qualify you for a doctor's appointment at your own GP surgery, you'll have to go elsewhere". So that wasn't a brilliant outcome.
But in the end, I decided not to go to the UTC. My eye is looking better to me, although it's still a bit red and sore and puffy, but it doesn't look worse than it did before or even really different, and I'm not really happy to go wait in the UTC for what I assume are A&E waiting times, just to be told once again there's nothing they can really do about it, I'll have to just let it heal on it's own. So I'm just going to take my ibuprofen and anti-histamines and whatever for a few days and see how it goes. Happily, I have the next three days off, so if it's still looking a bit weird on Wednesday or something I might go down and just get it checked out, and hopefully things will be easier on a weekday at least. Or I guess I could try my doctor's surgery again. For whatever that might get me.
Other than that, things are going - okay. I don't know. I was really struggling all week to get to work while my parents are away - as much as I really enjoy having the house to myself while they're away, I am pretty used to my mum being around when I go to work, so if I run out of time I can ask her to do some stuff for me so I can set off. Not so while she's away. If I'm making a sandwich, and I leave any stuff out after doing so, it's just going to sit and go off all day, so I can't really do that. I had to go out without feeding the cat a couple of times, which made me feel awful. But then another time I stayed longer than I should to feed her, only for her to wander off and go outside, so she was locked out all day and couldn't eat it anyway. Damn cat. I actually missed the train on Wednesday, and I had to run for it every other day, and my attitude to myself wasn't great during all of those issues. So I'm pretty glad I have most of next week off work, so I don't really have to do that. Only two days next week, and then two days into the following week my parents will be back, so it'll be less of a concern. But yeah. I have been struggling lately, and I've particularly struggled with that.
But while I'm off things are a little different. Still not great, because I'm going through some mental health stuff, and my counsellor has had a baby so he's now off work until October. When he talked about this repeatedly and said he might have to 'run off' at some point, I thought "oh yes, he might have to run off if she goes into labour, to be at the birth". I didn't think about paternal leave, which is what he's actually taking. So I'm a bit without support at the moment, and for a few more weeks at least. Which doesn't make me feel super. The employment support guy he put me in touch with, when he finally called, basically just left a message on my phone - which I didn't even hear ring to be honest - and I keep meaning to re-listen to it and take his number and call back, but...he hasn't called me back. And it's been nearly too weeks. I was hoping for a little more enthuasism out of the guy to like, help me. So that's not really going anywhere at the moment. And I'm feeling a little guilty in a way, for how much time off my boss is currently arranging for me, given that my plan is really to leave that job as soon as is humanly possible. But I do need it. So I can't really feel too guilty for that.
I'm eating a lot of take-out at the moment, and no-one is around to judge me, so that's pretty happying. It was not my plan, but last Monday my mum actually went into town and said she was getting stuff for me for the rest of the week, and then only got stuff for two days, so I was left a little bereft. Still. Barbeque sauce and onion ring burger, duck in black bean sauce, and chicken and barbeque sauce pizza. Mmm. And it hasn't even given me and digestive problems yet.
So I'm just sort of plodding along. Playing some Spider-Man. Trying to relax. Doing my best for the cat, but also kind of keeping her at arm's length at the moment, because I don't need the anxiety of any of her body parts getting near my eye. And doing my best. And I have a few more days to do my best before I even need to be back at work. So that's pretty good. I might go do a thing that is nice. Who knows.
But in the end, I decided not to go to the UTC. My eye is looking better to me, although it's still a bit red and sore and puffy, but it doesn't look worse than it did before or even really different, and I'm not really happy to go wait in the UTC for what I assume are A&E waiting times, just to be told once again there's nothing they can really do about it, I'll have to just let it heal on it's own. So I'm just going to take my ibuprofen and anti-histamines and whatever for a few days and see how it goes. Happily, I have the next three days off, so if it's still looking a bit weird on Wednesday or something I might go down and just get it checked out, and hopefully things will be easier on a weekday at least. Or I guess I could try my doctor's surgery again. For whatever that might get me.
Other than that, things are going - okay. I don't know. I was really struggling all week to get to work while my parents are away - as much as I really enjoy having the house to myself while they're away, I am pretty used to my mum being around when I go to work, so if I run out of time I can ask her to do some stuff for me so I can set off. Not so while she's away. If I'm making a sandwich, and I leave any stuff out after doing so, it's just going to sit and go off all day, so I can't really do that. I had to go out without feeding the cat a couple of times, which made me feel awful. But then another time I stayed longer than I should to feed her, only for her to wander off and go outside, so she was locked out all day and couldn't eat it anyway. Damn cat. I actually missed the train on Wednesday, and I had to run for it every other day, and my attitude to myself wasn't great during all of those issues. So I'm pretty glad I have most of next week off work, so I don't really have to do that. Only two days next week, and then two days into the following week my parents will be back, so it'll be less of a concern. But yeah. I have been struggling lately, and I've particularly struggled with that.
But while I'm off things are a little different. Still not great, because I'm going through some mental health stuff, and my counsellor has had a baby so he's now off work until October. When he talked about this repeatedly and said he might have to 'run off' at some point, I thought "oh yes, he might have to run off if she goes into labour, to be at the birth". I didn't think about paternal leave, which is what he's actually taking. So I'm a bit without support at the moment, and for a few more weeks at least. Which doesn't make me feel super. The employment support guy he put me in touch with, when he finally called, basically just left a message on my phone - which I didn't even hear ring to be honest - and I keep meaning to re-listen to it and take his number and call back, but...he hasn't called me back. And it's been nearly too weeks. I was hoping for a little more enthuasism out of the guy to like, help me. So that's not really going anywhere at the moment. And I'm feeling a little guilty in a way, for how much time off my boss is currently arranging for me, given that my plan is really to leave that job as soon as is humanly possible. But I do need it. So I can't really feel too guilty for that.
I'm eating a lot of take-out at the moment, and no-one is around to judge me, so that's pretty happying. It was not my plan, but last Monday my mum actually went into town and said she was getting stuff for me for the rest of the week, and then only got stuff for two days, so I was left a little bereft. Still. Barbeque sauce and onion ring burger, duck in black bean sauce, and chicken and barbeque sauce pizza. Mmm. And it hasn't even given me and digestive problems yet.
So I'm just sort of plodding along. Playing some Spider-Man. Trying to relax. Doing my best for the cat, but also kind of keeping her at arm's length at the moment, because I don't need the anxiety of any of her body parts getting near my eye. And doing my best. And I have a few more days to do my best before I even need to be back at work. So that's pretty good. I might go do a thing that is nice. Who knows.
no subject
~I hope that the one employment support guy gets back to you. Playing phone tag like that always makes me feel even more anxious. I think it is great that your boss has been arranging stuff to help you, but you shouldn't feel guilty about eventually leaving your job (although I know that's hard to do!). In the end, you have to do what is best for you...and it sounds like you're needing to find a new place, and that's what is most important.
~I hope you enjoy the rest of your days off and are able to relax and continue to do what is best for you. ♥