girlofprey (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
girlofprey) wrote2019-08-03 09:56 pm
girlofprey) wrote2019-08-03 09:56 pm
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Also I went back to work, and it was fine. I was a little worried how people might react to me, but most of them asked if I'd been on holiday. I told a few I was actually off sick, and they were like "bet you're glad to be back at work?". "I know work isn't great, but it's better than being sick!". So I don't know what they thought I had, but no-one really made too big a deal of it, which was nice.
I spoke to my boss, and the subject of the sick pay form came up. He brought it up, after being perplexed by my 4-week sicknote I could just ignore, and he said he'd looked at the form and couldn't make head nor tail of it, so he'd called the government phoneline on the form, but he couldn't get through. He seemed confused enough that I believe that's really what happened, so I guess my boss just doesn't know that I am 100% entitled to sick pay from the company. Which is where the whole "can you just look at the form again?" thing becomes awkward, because if I'm going to pursue this, at what point do I tell him all the stuff about sick pay, which I found out from a few minutes of googling, when he obviously hasn't even googled it? He asked what our boss - one of the CEOs - said when she emailed the form to me, and I said nothing, she said "I'm emailing you this". So he said he'd speak to her again. So. Things are unfolding. And I don't know what they are.
My parents are going on holiday tomorrow. I will have the house to myself. The dog is also going to a kennel. My mum kindly bought food for me for the whole week, and has been freaking out making sure I have enough clothes, even for a hot week, so I think I will be okay.
Games - the main thing I learned about games at E3 this year is that I just don't think I can do them in total anymore. Or just not be part of gaming 'fandom' (in terms of looking up rumours online and Let's Plays) anymore, but I just don't have the time. I don't know how anyone could have the time. The rest of my year looks like this: there was a game, Man of Medan, coming out on 30th August which I wanted to get. Then another game I was looking forward to, Control, finally had a release announced - on 27th August. And a new Blair Witch game got revealed, which looked pretty good, and that's releasing on 30th August, and also another game called Astral Chain I thought looked interesting was announced to release on 30th August too. That's just one week. And these games are likely - in fact, expected - to be tens of hours long.
I have a week and a half to finish all of those, before another game I was interested in, Greedfall, comes out on 10th September. Then I have 3 days to finish that before Borderlands 3 comes out - I am going to get Borderlands 3 when it comes out. But I have over a month to finish that, before the next Trails of Cold Steel game comes out, and I can find out what happened to Jusis and Machias. Trails of Cold Steel games tend to be at least 110 hours long. I have 3 days to finish it before The Outer Worlds comes out. Honestly I could ditch the Outer Worlds, I don't always love Obsidian's writing, but it does look cool. And it's a new IP. And it's a Bethesda-like RPG, and we haven't had a new one of those for a few years. Anyway, I have 6 days to finish that hundred-hour+ game before Luigi's Mansion 3 comes out, just in time for Halloween. And then 8 days to finish that, before Death Stranding releases.
I like getting games I'm interested in at launch. I like supporting devs, I like giving them good sales in the first week if it looks like they made an interesting, not-horrific game at least - and I like having my own experiences with games when they come out, before all the reviews flood in and everyone has an opinion, and any of them become The Joke everyone makes on all their podcasts, even people who haven't played the game but know it will get a 'laugh'. But this is too much. There's no time. There's certainly no time to actually enjoy them, or take your own time with them. I get that game companies are jumping on the whole "announce the release date close to the release date" thing now, but this is too much. It's a clusterfuck. It needs better planning. "But Rachael, just don't buy a few and play them later, after Christmas" I hear you say. Well, guess what spring looks like! Watch Dogs Legion comes out two weeks before Animal Crossing, a game that swallows lives, and they're both a month before Cyberpunk 2077. And Masquerade: Bloodlines 2 is just floating around somewhere before April. It's crazy.
So I don't know. I feel like I'm going to have to switch off from gaming culture - I feel like I'm going to have kill some of my own excitement about games, which feels really weird, but it's too much. There's too many huge games coming out too close together. FOMO is a killer, but you've got to miss out on some things. The weird thing is that I feel like gaming companies/youtubers more or less rely on it, they bank on people wanting to be involved in the conversations right away, so they all buy the game and watch the videos right away, and they've been sorting of ramping things up and encouraging it. But for me at least, I feel like I've reached a breaking point. There's no way to do all this stuff and enjoy it. I genuinely can't imagine some of these games not tanking big time, no matter how big or anticipated they are - there's too much competition. I guess a lot of them are aimed at different audiences, and it's not like there haven't been packed weeks before, but. ??? It seems like so many. I would be genuinely surprised if all of these games sell as well as their companies want them to. I feel like maybe the game developers are just holding their breaths, not backing down so people don't lose confidence in their game, and hoping they're the ones that survive. ??? I don't know. I'm getting Borderlands 3 and Death Stranding. And probably something during the week of 26th August, despite my reduced pay this month. That's all I know right now. And Watch Dogs Legion in March. Who knows what will happen between now and March. That's all I can say. That's all anyone can say.
I spoke to my boss, and the subject of the sick pay form came up. He brought it up, after being perplexed by my 4-week sicknote I could just ignore, and he said he'd looked at the form and couldn't make head nor tail of it, so he'd called the government phoneline on the form, but he couldn't get through. He seemed confused enough that I believe that's really what happened, so I guess my boss just doesn't know that I am 100% entitled to sick pay from the company. Which is where the whole "can you just look at the form again?" thing becomes awkward, because if I'm going to pursue this, at what point do I tell him all the stuff about sick pay, which I found out from a few minutes of googling, when he obviously hasn't even googled it? He asked what our boss - one of the CEOs - said when she emailed the form to me, and I said nothing, she said "I'm emailing you this". So he said he'd speak to her again. So. Things are unfolding. And I don't know what they are.
My parents are going on holiday tomorrow. I will have the house to myself. The dog is also going to a kennel. My mum kindly bought food for me for the whole week, and has been freaking out making sure I have enough clothes, even for a hot week, so I think I will be okay.
Games - the main thing I learned about games at E3 this year is that I just don't think I can do them in total anymore. Or just not be part of gaming 'fandom' (in terms of looking up rumours online and Let's Plays) anymore, but I just don't have the time. I don't know how anyone could have the time. The rest of my year looks like this: there was a game, Man of Medan, coming out on 30th August which I wanted to get. Then another game I was looking forward to, Control, finally had a release announced - on 27th August. And a new Blair Witch game got revealed, which looked pretty good, and that's releasing on 30th August, and also another game called Astral Chain I thought looked interesting was announced to release on 30th August too. That's just one week. And these games are likely - in fact, expected - to be tens of hours long.
I have a week and a half to finish all of those, before another game I was interested in, Greedfall, comes out on 10th September. Then I have 3 days to finish that before Borderlands 3 comes out - I am going to get Borderlands 3 when it comes out. But I have over a month to finish that, before the next Trails of Cold Steel game comes out, and I can find out what happened to Jusis and Machias. Trails of Cold Steel games tend to be at least 110 hours long. I have 3 days to finish it before The Outer Worlds comes out. Honestly I could ditch the Outer Worlds, I don't always love Obsidian's writing, but it does look cool. And it's a new IP. And it's a Bethesda-like RPG, and we haven't had a new one of those for a few years. Anyway, I have 6 days to finish that hundred-hour+ game before Luigi's Mansion 3 comes out, just in time for Halloween. And then 8 days to finish that, before Death Stranding releases.
I like getting games I'm interested in at launch. I like supporting devs, I like giving them good sales in the first week if it looks like they made an interesting, not-horrific game at least - and I like having my own experiences with games when they come out, before all the reviews flood in and everyone has an opinion, and any of them become The Joke everyone makes on all their podcasts, even people who haven't played the game but know it will get a 'laugh'. But this is too much. There's no time. There's certainly no time to actually enjoy them, or take your own time with them. I get that game companies are jumping on the whole "announce the release date close to the release date" thing now, but this is too much. It's a clusterfuck. It needs better planning. "But Rachael, just don't buy a few and play them later, after Christmas" I hear you say. Well, guess what spring looks like! Watch Dogs Legion comes out two weeks before Animal Crossing, a game that swallows lives, and they're both a month before Cyberpunk 2077. And Masquerade: Bloodlines 2 is just floating around somewhere before April. It's crazy.
So I don't know. I feel like I'm going to have to switch off from gaming culture - I feel like I'm going to have kill some of my own excitement about games, which feels really weird, but it's too much. There's too many huge games coming out too close together. FOMO is a killer, but you've got to miss out on some things. The weird thing is that I feel like gaming companies/youtubers more or less rely on it, they bank on people wanting to be involved in the conversations right away, so they all buy the game and watch the videos right away, and they've been sorting of ramping things up and encouraging it. But for me at least, I feel like I've reached a breaking point. There's no way to do all this stuff and enjoy it. I genuinely can't imagine some of these games not tanking big time, no matter how big or anticipated they are - there's too much competition. I guess a lot of them are aimed at different audiences, and it's not like there haven't been packed weeks before, but. ??? It seems like so many. I would be genuinely surprised if all of these games sell as well as their companies want them to. I feel like maybe the game developers are just holding their breaths, not backing down so people don't lose confidence in their game, and hoping they're the ones that survive. ??? I don't know. I'm getting Borderlands 3 and Death Stranding. And probably something during the week of 26th August, despite my reduced pay this month. That's all I know right now. And Watch Dogs Legion in March. Who knows what will happen between now and March. That's all I can say. That's all anyone can say.