girlofprey (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
girlofprey) wrote2013-11-08 10:06 pm
girlofprey) wrote2013-11-08 10:06 pm
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I tried calling DIAL, our local ESA support service, today about the request for the reasons I was granted my appeal, but they're not open on Fridays. So I called the courthouse, and the woman there said usually the Jobcentre requests the reasons for a decision just "to see where they went wrong and not do it again", and occasionally because they want to appeal a decision themselves. Which I already knew I guess, but still. It's not very nice to hear it's still a possibility. Apparently the Jobcentre have 28 days or so now to decide if they want to appeal, which means I might still have 28 days left of worrying and worrying that I might suddenly get a phonecall saying I'm back in the game again. I asked her, and she did say it's very very rare that the Jobcentre appeals a decision, because the Tribunal is part of the government so it's weird. Unless it's a "really really good one", apparently - I still don't know what she meant by a good one, and I wish I'd asked, but I didn't. She did ask if I was owed a lot of backpay, which I am, so maybe they're just double-checking or having to look at the reasons because of that.
I'm hoping that it's just because I got my appeal under the special regulations thing, which like I said I'd never even heard of before my appeal. In the papers from my assessment, they mention them and it was worded oddly, but it sounded like they thought there was no evidence there was a risk to anyone's mental health just from being found fit for work. So maybe they just want to see what I was given it on, and what judges and doctors (those randoms) think is relevant in that case. Hopefully. Or maybe they just want to see what my situation is so they can pass it on to the Disability Advisor who I'll be seeing when I'm back at the Jobcentre. I don't know. The woman said I could call the Jobcentre 'hub' that's overseeing my case, and ask if there's any intention to appeal, but since it might take a while for the papers to get to the right person and for a decision to be made if one's in the works, she said it'd probably be better if I waited until next week. So I have to wait two days to even call. And the fact is - if they give me a definite no, fair enough, but after the rings they've run round me in the past, telling me assessments weren't to do with whether I kept my benefits or not and etc, I probably won't trust them even if they do say no. So I'll just be waiting and waiting, I guess.
I got a call today as well, from 'no number', that I couldn't answer because my battery died. There was no message left. But obviously my brain's telling me that might be the Jobcentre calling to say they're appealing the decision. Even though I've been hounded by PPI people for a long while now. I assume the Jobcentre would have a number if they were calling. Maybe it'll all be fine, but I can't convince myself it will be unless I know for definite, just in case it isn't. So I'm just going to have to feel like this for a while. Great.
And I had a weird appointment with a service worker yesterday. My official worker is off for two weeks, so I'm seeing sort of 'interim' people, and yesterday it was a woman I'd never seen before. She was quite nice, but from the things she said she'd obviously had problems before and felt very proactive about being over them. I found her a little brusque, in places. Like I was explaining about my family again, because she didn't know my situation, and she was asking questions when I mentioned things and stuff, and then later she said she didn't know why I'd talked so much about them, and it wasn't always helpful dwelling on past problems. Then later she was commenting on the way my 'manner changed' when I'd spoken to mum about something, and how there are ways to say how you feel while still 'keeping your manners'. And I kind of get what she was saying and she was probably right about some things, but it was - very different from the style I'm used to. A little intense for two hours.
But then it also made me think about all the stuff I'd feel more comfortable saying to her than to my usual service worker, because he's a man. I mean he's perfectly nice and I don't feel threatened by him or anything, but there's still stuff I feel weird saying. Like about buying new bras and stuff. I talked to the woman yesterday about how I get depressed sometimes when I get PMT, just because of my hormones I think, and she suggested sage oil as a non-medical hormone balancer. I can't imagine having had that conversation with my current worker. It's sort of unusual for me to have a male worker because I've always generally had female ones, and I kind of wanted to have that experience. But I'm wondering now if I might really want to change to a female worker, just so I can talk about more things more comfortably. Hmph.
I'm hoping that it's just because I got my appeal under the special regulations thing, which like I said I'd never even heard of before my appeal. In the papers from my assessment, they mention them and it was worded oddly, but it sounded like they thought there was no evidence there was a risk to anyone's mental health just from being found fit for work. So maybe they just want to see what I was given it on, and what judges and doctors (those randoms) think is relevant in that case. Hopefully. Or maybe they just want to see what my situation is so they can pass it on to the Disability Advisor who I'll be seeing when I'm back at the Jobcentre. I don't know. The woman said I could call the Jobcentre 'hub' that's overseeing my case, and ask if there's any intention to appeal, but since it might take a while for the papers to get to the right person and for a decision to be made if one's in the works, she said it'd probably be better if I waited until next week. So I have to wait two days to even call. And the fact is - if they give me a definite no, fair enough, but after the rings they've run round me in the past, telling me assessments weren't to do with whether I kept my benefits or not and etc, I probably won't trust them even if they do say no. So I'll just be waiting and waiting, I guess.
I got a call today as well, from 'no number', that I couldn't answer because my battery died. There was no message left. But obviously my brain's telling me that might be the Jobcentre calling to say they're appealing the decision. Even though I've been hounded by PPI people for a long while now. I assume the Jobcentre would have a number if they were calling. Maybe it'll all be fine, but I can't convince myself it will be unless I know for definite, just in case it isn't. So I'm just going to have to feel like this for a while. Great.
And I had a weird appointment with a service worker yesterday. My official worker is off for two weeks, so I'm seeing sort of 'interim' people, and yesterday it was a woman I'd never seen before. She was quite nice, but from the things she said she'd obviously had problems before and felt very proactive about being over them. I found her a little brusque, in places. Like I was explaining about my family again, because she didn't know my situation, and she was asking questions when I mentioned things and stuff, and then later she said she didn't know why I'd talked so much about them, and it wasn't always helpful dwelling on past problems. Then later she was commenting on the way my 'manner changed' when I'd spoken to mum about something, and how there are ways to say how you feel while still 'keeping your manners'. And I kind of get what she was saying and she was probably right about some things, but it was - very different from the style I'm used to. A little intense for two hours.
But then it also made me think about all the stuff I'd feel more comfortable saying to her than to my usual service worker, because he's a man. I mean he's perfectly nice and I don't feel threatened by him or anything, but there's still stuff I feel weird saying. Like about buying new bras and stuff. I talked to the woman yesterday about how I get depressed sometimes when I get PMT, just because of my hormones I think, and she suggested sage oil as a non-medical hormone balancer. I can't imagine having had that conversation with my current worker. It's sort of unusual for me to have a male worker because I've always generally had female ones, and I kind of wanted to have that experience. But I'm wondering now if I might really want to change to a female worker, just so I can talk about more things more comfortably. Hmph.