*hugs* I haven't lost anyone with dementia (though my grandfather was seemingly on the verge of ... something, but I don't know what), but I can imagine that's a difficult feeling, what with all the gradations of loss, and the loss while the person's still alive, and then again another loss. I do know what the waiting and the weirdness is like though - so strange. I think the oddness of it all is very understandable. x