girlofprey | (no subject)

I have learned the new and exciting torture of being on your period at work. FUN. I took two paracetamol an hour before I was supposed to, spent an hour in the bathroom with my shirt off (without passing out!), before deciding I felt well enough to get to the bus station. Given my recent lack of sleep and how badly I've been eating, I really shouldn't be suprised it was so bad. And somewhat as expected, I feel completely fine now, except tired. But blah. I'd finished all the bloody filing, anyway.

My dad thinks he might be fired from his job. Again. To lose one job is accidental, to lose two begins to look like carelessness. I joke because it's actually slightly scary. It sounds like it was completely nothing to do with him - someone (else) made a huge and basic error when designing something that's now started to be built, on a job he's only vaguely involved in. But it's a big error, which could apparently cost a million pounds to deal with; and it's student accomodation, so it really needs to be finished next September, which it looks like it might not be now. So my dad thinks anyone even slightly involved in the job that allowed it to happen might get the sack. Including his (and my) boss. He even went so far as to tell me money wasn't everything, you should get a job you enjoy, because it just wasn't worth it otherwise - if you know my dad at all, you know this is a VERY STRANGE THING for him to say. He did then take me on a tour of his area pointing out all the rich solicitors though, and telling me how great it is to be a judge. I don't know. He's a bit of a pessimist, but it all does sound very serious. I don't know what he'll do if he leaves his second job in a year, under a black cloud. And they are crying out for engineers in Dubai, after all...

I'm mostly trying not to think about it. It might all come to nothing, after all. The poppies are out in the fields and that pleases me. Also I decided that even though I'm not allowed to buy any more books, poetry clearly doesn't count, and got 'Sonnets to Orpheus' by Rilke, which is - beautiful, at least in this translation.

Ahem:

'Keep ahead of all parting, as if it were behind
you, like the winter that is just now passed.
In winters you are so endlessly winter, you find
that, getting through the winter, your heart on the whole will last.

Be ever dead in Eurydice - arise singing
with greater praise, rise again to the pure relation.
Among the fleeting, in the realm of declination,
be a resonant glass that shatters while it is ringing.

Be - at the same time, know the terms of negation,
the infinite basis of your fervent vibration,
that you may completely complete it this one time.

To teeming nature's store of used, as of dumb
and moldy things, to that uncountable count,
Add yourself joyously, and annul the amount.'

Possibly I'm just over-emotional today, but I started to cry in the bus station. Then felt really, really guilty about not being at work.

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Hormones and work are a shitty combination. Eat chocolate (preferably cold chocolate, not warm, slightly melty chocolate given the weather) and everything might seem slightly better. :)

I had ice-cream. Ben and Jerry's. All was well again.

It is quite possible that Ben and Jerry's is actually the answer to everything. Mmmm, Cookie Dough.

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I sat in the bathroom and thought I was just going to have to escape, and hope they forgot I was supposed to be there

Your attitude is so like mine I fear we may be twins. I escaped legitimately though, hah!

The leaking I can cope with. They have products for that. It the stomach cramps, leg cramps, back cramps, nausea, hot flushes, and general exhaustion that follow all of them, that cause the problems. Not entirely conducive to good filing.

That's a bit wretched. We're a very leaking sort of a being, aren't we. I don't think the designer ought to get much of an award.

I wouldn't feel guilty about not being at work. I think not being at work is generally something of a triumph. It's ultimately what most people are working towards. Go you.

The design is alright. The practise could do with some fine-tuning.

Your ideas are good. I like them. I still crying off work so I could go weep over poetry is slightly cheeky. But I'm probably not getting paid for it, so - whatever. I might go weep some more!

Oh man, it does suck to be a woman sometimes...well once a month!

I hope everything works out for you Dad too!

SO VERY BAD. I could always take the Pill, of course. But I won't!

Me too. Apparently he doesn't think he'd have trouble finding another job (perhaps in Dubai???), he's just sad for all the people who're going to get into trouble. Poor dad :(

::LOVES YOU::

The poem is beautiful Do not feel guilt for not being at work. I hope your dad is okay x

I AM GREAT (apparently)

I like the poem. It doesn't look the same in the journal as in the book. I feel some guilt but they won't pay me probably. Me too, I think he will be X