girlofprey (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
girlofprey) wrote2019-12-29 03:32 pm
girlofprey) wrote2019-12-29 03:32 pm
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So Christmas was not so bad, and then my sister got involved. It was a bit of a slog going to Birmingham, but the journey wasn't too bad, only an hour and a half rather than two hours, and it was quiet. And mum wasn't home, so it's not like we'd have been doing anything else with the day. The journey back was when I started to feel it though, and it is a long round trip. But still, it was lovely to see my MN, and we ended up going for midday rather than 10am so it wasn't too gruelling. He looked well and is in a really nice place with really nice people and other kids. And he was happy enough, although it was Christmas so he had plenty of presents to occupy him, to be fair. I hope he settles there. I don't know when we'll see him again. Not till after New Year's at least.
And then Boxing Day. As I understood it, the plan was to have my YN, my ON, my sister, and one of my ON's carers (at my ON's request) at our house from 2 til 4. But I asked on Christmas Day evening, when mum got home from work, and she said she'd mentioned to the carers they could come earlier if they wanted, and she'd spoken to my sister, and my sister claimed that no-one had told her about it, and then that she'd asked the social worker if her fiance could come too, and the social worker had said yes. This is the fiance with a couple of accusations against him by my nephews, and an ongoing police investigation. Then she told my mum they'd be bringing her fiance's daughter too, because otherwise she'd be left on her own.
So on Boxing Day the carer's turned up a bit early, my mum told them and my nephews what was going on, and my ON's carers weren't sure if they could or should leave him in the house when the fiance was going to be there. My ON said it was fine, eventually, that he'd just go into another room if the guy was there, but he didn't seem very happy about it. But the carers really weren't happy, they said they couldn't leave him, so it was agreed eventually that they'd go hang around nearby, let the fiance come for a bit, then if my parents could take him home they'd let my ON come back to spend a while with his mother and my ON. So they all left. Then the carer for my YN said that she'd been told she didn't have to stay during the visit, because the carer for my ON would be there, so it would be supervised. She already had plans, so we just had to gloss over that and tell her she could go. Then my sister arrived. Late. She'd stopped into town for something. The first thing she said was that she was starving, and asked mum for some food. Mum was not cooking a meal for everyone, so she just sorted something out from the fridge. Then the fiance was also starving, could he have a sandwich. The fiance's daughter was also hungry, could she have something. And then we told my sister what was happening with the carers and my ON, and she just really took issue with the fact they wouldn't just let him come. The social worker had said it was fine, she insisted. Also talked about how she got a 'weird vibe' from my ON's carers, and I'm sure the fact they're a same-sex couple and my sister has apparently made comments about "two gays looking after my son" had nothing to do with it.
And I don't think she arrived until quarter to three, and we were supposed to be letting the carers know/taking the fiance away at half past three, and she just wouldn't make a decision. Kept saying that my YN wanted the fiance to stay, and she was trying to make 'everyone' happy. It got to about half past three, and finally she sent a message saying that was all fine, to bring my ON back and the fiance would go. But she sent it to my ON, who had no data on his phone, so he didn't receive it, and then it got to quarter to four, and my mum was trying to contact the carers, and finally they said it was too late, they'd been waiting around and had plans with another boy they were looking after, so had to get back. And my sister kept insisting the problem was with them, everything was fine, and they were just being awkward. Then they came back saying they could bring my ON, right then - he was supposed to be sleeping over - as long as the fiance was gone when they arrived. And she just wouldn't say yes, she wouldn't tell the fiance to go. And the fiance never looked up, never offered to go, just kept sitting on our floor putting toys together for my YN. So my ON never got to come back. He didn't get to see his mother, he didn't get to spend much time with his little brother, and although he mostly got cash for Christmas, he didn't get to open the few presents we'd got for him, and we didn't get to open the presents from him while he was there. My sister went off on one, my mum had to go lie down while insisting they wouldn't use her house as a contact point again, my sister made my dad unlock my mum's phone for her, yelling when he questioned her about it - she claimed it was so she could show her fiance a message she'd sent to "the two poofs", but actually, as we suspected, it was so she could send a message from mum's phone because they'd blocked my sister's I guess. It wasn't too abusive though, from what I hear. Just about how my ON was 'hers', and the two carers were just doing him and her a favour. And the fiance and his daughter stayed till they all went. My sister insisted it was for my YN's benefit, and she was trying to make everyone happy, but later I heard her in the kitchen telling my mum 'no-one is considering the fact that [the fiance] is what I need'. Who she would have had all day, except that one hour at my mum's house seeing her son. Very selfless.
So that was Christmas. A bit sad for my ON. But better for me than a lot of years, because I knew it could only last a few hours at most, and not until my sister was done taking advantage and the kids were all exhausted and having tantrums. And then it was over and we could have some quiet time.
The social worker was due to see my ON's carers the day after Boxing Day anyway, and she said she had categorically told my sister her fiance could not come to the meet-up.
She's either mad or a cowbag or both, and tired of trying to think about her.
So that was Christmas, anyway. Don't know when we'll see my ON again, but hopefully soon. Bit tumultuous. But now we're on our own. I'm trying to clear out my bedroom a bit, and constantly disappointed by my inability to just throw everything away when I'm clearly not using it. But I'm getting through it. Bit by bit. I have big plans.
And then Boxing Day. As I understood it, the plan was to have my YN, my ON, my sister, and one of my ON's carers (at my ON's request) at our house from 2 til 4. But I asked on Christmas Day evening, when mum got home from work, and she said she'd mentioned to the carers they could come earlier if they wanted, and she'd spoken to my sister, and my sister claimed that no-one had told her about it, and then that she'd asked the social worker if her fiance could come too, and the social worker had said yes. This is the fiance with a couple of accusations against him by my nephews, and an ongoing police investigation. Then she told my mum they'd be bringing her fiance's daughter too, because otherwise she'd be left on her own.
So on Boxing Day the carer's turned up a bit early, my mum told them and my nephews what was going on, and my ON's carers weren't sure if they could or should leave him in the house when the fiance was going to be there. My ON said it was fine, eventually, that he'd just go into another room if the guy was there, but he didn't seem very happy about it. But the carers really weren't happy, they said they couldn't leave him, so it was agreed eventually that they'd go hang around nearby, let the fiance come for a bit, then if my parents could take him home they'd let my ON come back to spend a while with his mother and my ON. So they all left. Then the carer for my YN said that she'd been told she didn't have to stay during the visit, because the carer for my ON would be there, so it would be supervised. She already had plans, so we just had to gloss over that and tell her she could go. Then my sister arrived. Late. She'd stopped into town for something. The first thing she said was that she was starving, and asked mum for some food. Mum was not cooking a meal for everyone, so she just sorted something out from the fridge. Then the fiance was also starving, could he have a sandwich. The fiance's daughter was also hungry, could she have something. And then we told my sister what was happening with the carers and my ON, and she just really took issue with the fact they wouldn't just let him come. The social worker had said it was fine, she insisted. Also talked about how she got a 'weird vibe' from my ON's carers, and I'm sure the fact they're a same-sex couple and my sister has apparently made comments about "two gays looking after my son" had nothing to do with it.
And I don't think she arrived until quarter to three, and we were supposed to be letting the carers know/taking the fiance away at half past three, and she just wouldn't make a decision. Kept saying that my YN wanted the fiance to stay, and she was trying to make 'everyone' happy. It got to about half past three, and finally she sent a message saying that was all fine, to bring my ON back and the fiance would go. But she sent it to my ON, who had no data on his phone, so he didn't receive it, and then it got to quarter to four, and my mum was trying to contact the carers, and finally they said it was too late, they'd been waiting around and had plans with another boy they were looking after, so had to get back. And my sister kept insisting the problem was with them, everything was fine, and they were just being awkward. Then they came back saying they could bring my ON, right then - he was supposed to be sleeping over - as long as the fiance was gone when they arrived. And she just wouldn't say yes, she wouldn't tell the fiance to go. And the fiance never looked up, never offered to go, just kept sitting on our floor putting toys together for my YN. So my ON never got to come back. He didn't get to see his mother, he didn't get to spend much time with his little brother, and although he mostly got cash for Christmas, he didn't get to open the few presents we'd got for him, and we didn't get to open the presents from him while he was there. My sister went off on one, my mum had to go lie down while insisting they wouldn't use her house as a contact point again, my sister made my dad unlock my mum's phone for her, yelling when he questioned her about it - she claimed it was so she could show her fiance a message she'd sent to "the two poofs", but actually, as we suspected, it was so she could send a message from mum's phone because they'd blocked my sister's I guess. It wasn't too abusive though, from what I hear. Just about how my ON was 'hers', and the two carers were just doing him and her a favour. And the fiance and his daughter stayed till they all went. My sister insisted it was for my YN's benefit, and she was trying to make everyone happy, but later I heard her in the kitchen telling my mum 'no-one is considering the fact that [the fiance] is what I need'. Who she would have had all day, except that one hour at my mum's house seeing her son. Very selfless.
So that was Christmas. A bit sad for my ON. But better for me than a lot of years, because I knew it could only last a few hours at most, and not until my sister was done taking advantage and the kids were all exhausted and having tantrums. And then it was over and we could have some quiet time.
The social worker was due to see my ON's carers the day after Boxing Day anyway, and she said she had categorically told my sister her fiance could not come to the meet-up.
She's either mad or a cowbag or both, and tired of trying to think about her.
So that was Christmas, anyway. Don't know when we'll see my ON again, but hopefully soon. Bit tumultuous. But now we're on our own. I'm trying to clear out my bedroom a bit, and constantly disappointed by my inability to just throw everything away when I'm clearly not using it. But I'm getting through it. Bit by bit. I have big plans.
no subject
Maybe next year will surprise us all by being lovely and wonderful and good. I wish it for you. x x x x