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My mum is being quiet and sighing a lot, which I think means something's going on with my sister. However, since I started crying and crying at work and talking about how hard it was to constantly hear this stuff and not be able to talk about it, my mum has very kindly a) said that maybe she vents a little about how things are with my sister to me, and maybe makes things out to be worse than they really are because she's stressed out, and b) stopped talking to me about things to do with my sister. Which I very much appreciate. I guess I'll hear about this situation if it gets any worse.

I'm not looking forward to the nuclear war.
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I finished the Communist Manifesto today. Well, I actually finished it a few weeks ago - it randomly ended about halfway through my book. The rest turned out to be the many prefaces Marx and Engels had written over the years, as it got republished. Which was interesting, because they briefly covered all the political/socialist changes that happened over the decades after it was written, including some revisions to their theory - a revolution in France in the 1800s showed that 'the working class cannot simply lay hold of the ready-made State machinery, and wield it for its own purposes', apparently. And it was also slightly sad, because it covered the years after Marx died, and Engels had to go on writing the prefaces alone. And then the last part of the book was an essay Marx wrote after the election of someone in France that people clearly did not like and were shocked by, following some of their socialist uprisings, and frankly it was like reading something about Trump. Although I know I only draw that conclusion because Trump is happening now, and that's the closest example I have to compare it to. It also, on the other hand, contained this charming phrase:

"A nation and a woman are not forgiven for the unguarded hour in which the first available adventurer is able to violate them."

Calm down there, Marx.

It was interesting though, partly because I never realised a large part of Communist theory was that socialism was the ultimate outcome of capitalism - that in the same way that the progress society made by organising into feudalism essentially led to capitalism, and commoners overthrowing nobility, the progress made by capitalism would inevitably lead to socialism. Which is a weirdly dynamic and completely undynamic belief - at what point does/can revolution happen? Slowly, over time, I suppose. Again, I find it's heavy overreliance on the idea of revolution, on the idea that violence and only doing things violently can really achieve anything a bit much, plus casually ignoring women and racism outside of 'competition between countries' obviously. But it's still an interesting read, and worth doing, given the current political state of things.

I just let my mum go round to the shop to get some chocolate for me. I feel a bit bad, but I did lend her some of my supply the other day when she had none.
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Well. The country is in chaos, obviously, but this is so much more than I ever hoped.

Fuck you, Theresa May.

Also: I'm on a period again. For fuck's sake.
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Apparently Jeremy Corbyn has said some weird shit, but the only source I can find for it is the Sun. Does anyone have any more information?
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Alright summer, you have summered it up, it's great, you can go now.

My mum is back from London. Which is nice, because I was a little anxious about her, given the state of things. Purely for anxiety reasons, I know logically it was unlikely anything was going to happen to her, and things do tend to actually be safer when everyone's on high-alert than the rest of the time, really. But still. It's nice to have her home.

I don't even know what to think about the state of the country right now. It's so sad, but I'm also constantly waiting for news of reprisals against Muslims. There already have been some, and yesterday a guy who works in our post room stood and watched a guy from the Centre for Muslims on our (silent) tv that just shows Sky News all days, and then said "bastards!" not quite under his breath, and walked out. And I know people want to feel safe, and it's good for people to feel safe, but seeing all the soldiers on the streets sometimes just makes me think of those dystopian films where you get flashbacks, and it's like 'this is when martial law started'. And maybe if the Tories hadn't cut funding for the police so much, and the numbers of police officers so much, we wouldn't need so many soldiers. We're going to have an election soon, in this atmosphere - I genuinely think they should postpone it, but I guess that would be letting terrorism mess with the political process, which wouldn't be great either. It's just...fucked up.

Anyway. Since talking about how I never get anything done at the weekend, I sorted through my jewellery collection - I have a lot of jewellery, is my takeaway from that, and I really like ceramics and glass - and I cancelled my kickboxing membership, and I picked up my new prescription for the pill, and I renewed my application for working tax credits. I had to call them up to tell them about my change in circumstance, in that I no longer qualify for the Disability element, timewise, so I basically had to do it over the phone. But it was relatively painless, once I had all the information. I think at best I'll get much less money than before - they might even want some back from me, since I haven't qualified for the disability element since March - but you know, it was nice to get it in the first place, and I wasn't expecting it. So we'll see what they decide in the future. I've told them what I can, at least.

I got all of this done pretty much by not playing video games for a bit. Except, you know, an hour and a half of my vita game every day, and Pokemon Picross when I'm bored (I'm on the alt-world challenges). So basically now, instead of playing video games all the time and feeling bad about all the stuff I haven't done, I'm doing things and feeling bad about all the video games I haven't played. Sucks to be me.
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It's a shame that Jeremy Corbyn is so shit, because is I like so much of what he says and his politics, and the fact he doesn't back down from them.

This thought brought to you by an article showing how all the party leaders have voted on abortion in the past few years. Including some unfortunate opinions that apparently belong to Tim Farron.

A tale from Trails of Cold Steel )
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Theresa May has gone from hateful to terrifying.
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I legitimately started thinking about Shakespeare quotes today while thinking about how angry I was at Theresa May, which disturbs me a little bit. I feel like this is how stalkers get started. Specifically, I was thinking of that bit in Hamlet about that "damnable, smiling villain" ("O, that one may smile, and smile, and smile, and be a villain").

Anyway. My train broke down on Monday, and tomorrow they're having another strike. It's not my best or favourite week for trains. Partially, this means I'm going to have to walk into town tomorrow to get a bus to Leeds, which will be earlier than even my usual train. I was going to ask my mum to give me a lift, but she's having laser eye surgery (or something?). Anyway, she can't. So I must look after myself, and either be cold or get all hot and sweaty walking into town, before going to sit at work for five hours. And all I have to look forward to after that is a bus home from Leeds, on a Friday night.

Psyche. I can actually look forward to a long weekend, and I'm planning to go see the new Guardians of the Galaxy movie on Saturday. My next few weeks have actually worked out quite interestingly; I have a short week next week, because of the bank holiday, then a full week. But on the Friday of the full week, I'm going to Jen's for Eurovision, and I'm having the following Monday off for travelling and resting and so on. So I'll have a short week, then too. Then a full week. Then after that a short week, because of the bank holiday. Then a full week. Then a week off, in June, for E3. I'm not actually working a full fortnight again until the middle of June. Hurrah.

Should be interesting at least. Might fuck with my regular schedule though.

I love Cora Harper in Mass Effect: Andromeda, and I've just learned that she's apparently only romanceable by a male Ryder. And now I'm sad.
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Politics )

I love Mass Effect: Andromeda. I really love it, and people in general hate it, and it makes me really sad. I love the main character, I love the story, I love the things going on with her (/him) and her (/his) family, I love the companions, I love the random characters you meet, I love the general gameplay of just randomly sorting out planets for people to live on. I love the combat, I love the weapons, I love the way it feels to move, I love the powers. It is buggy, like people say, but they've fixed the worst of that now, and it never at any point stopped me from really enjoying the game. But it's got a really negative reaction, 'even apart from the bugs', and I just don't understand it. Part of me think it's just me being contrary, and loving it because everyone else hates it, especially because it started getting a negative reaction even before it came out when people thought it was being 'too PC' (a guy literally wrote an article called 'Why aren't any of the female characters in Andromeda attractive?', even though some of them are literally the most beautiful video game women I've ever seen in my life, and it was incredibly gross). But that doesn't really explain the fact that I love it, and want to play it all the time, and want to go back to it whenever I stop playing it. I've never been that contrary. I feel like I'm starting to notice a pattern where games that are largely about exploration and building something tend to get a negative or tepid reaction, meanwhile the games that are essentially about a lone wolf, who doesn't have the backing of their government/people, trying to kill something no-one thinks they can kill suddenly do super well. And. It's very disheartening. Because I quite like the lone wolf games, but I love the exploration/building a future games, and it's upsetting to me that maybe people just won't make those in the future, because apparently nobody likes them. For some reason.

This a video game problem, and it probably won't mean much to most people. I'm sorry. In Trails of Cold Steel I forced the noble boy to go on a quest to help the commoner boy's friends/bullies from his old neighbourhood, and it was better than I could have ever dreamed. He said, "I didn't know you spoke delinquent".
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I'm expecting some genuine, severe fuckery with the French election. Just so you all know. Expecting and dreading.

I love Mass Effect Andromeda. I love Mass Effect Andromeda. I love it.
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  1. Fuck Theresa May. Fuck everything.

  2. I keep optimistically looking up future video game release dates. As if we're not all going to be dead before then.

  3. I do mostly think of all men as the 'fun police' these days.
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"The mother of all bombs"
"It's not real, I didn't do it, you can't prove I did anything."

So. Does anyone else have any ideas on why all our countries are ruled by children now?
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Right, so just so everyone knows, I haven't gone radio silent out of sorrow. Once again, the internet in my bedroom just failed to work all day, until tonight. I have no idea what's going on with it - the internet in the rest of the house works, only the tablet suddenly disconnected when I tried to use it to watch a video on instead of my computer, and even at that point my playstation and ps vita were still connecting to their online stores. So it can't be our internet. But right now, my internet is working fine and great, and just suddenly started doing so without much input from me. So it also can't be my computer, because it is connecting to the internet fine. So I don't know what it can be. I'm hoping it'll just go back to normal, but who knows, so I might be quiet for a while.

I love Mass Effect: Andromeda. I'm a little worried about World War 3 starting any time now, but what can any of us do? I love T-Bag/Abruzzi.
girlofprey: (R for raygun)
I wanted to wait until I had time to make a proper post, the kind of post I think this deserves, but pretty much everybody on my flist has posted about leaving Livejournal today, and I don't want to seem like I'm just jumping on the bandwagon in a couple of days time, so. Ahem.

I'm leaving Livejournal. It's something I've been thinking about for the past few months, ever since the move to Russian servers, and this week after the TOS thing, I just think it's time. Apparently the TOS stuff doesn't even apply to you if you're a paid member - maybe - but...I know this is irrational, but I hear about what's happening in Russia, about them decriminalising domestic violence, and what's happening in Chechnya, because of their anti-gay laws, and everything with Russia and Trump, and I just...I don't want them to own what I think, and what I say on this Livejournal, in any way, in the way they apparently think they own anything being held on a Russian server. I don't want anything to do with them. And I don't want to post to this Livejournal and always feel partly guilty, partly paranoid, when it's something that I loved so much.

And I did love it so much, it's been a huge part of my life, I met some of my closest friends on here, and discovered fic, and pairings, and things about myself, and I really hate to let it go, even if Dreamwidth is basically the same thing. It's not Livejournal. But like I say, I just don't think I can do it anymore. It's not going to be the same. And like I say, I don't want Russia to own anything I think or say in any way, so I'm going to leave this post up for a week, and then I'm going to delete this journal.

A friend of mine told me I should probably lead with "I'm moving to Dreamwidth" and not "I'm leaving Livejournal", but here we go, I don't want to go back and edit now. I'm girlofprey on Dreamwidth - a bit ago I transferred all my old posts including comments, but I haven't been cross-posting since then which is kind of annoying, but ah well. Also I'm not sure if my old photo posts, or posts with videos embedded will have posted properly, and that's a horrible shame, genuinely I am angry about potentially losing that stuff, but there you go. I will happily subscribe to any of you on there, and I'm planning to use that instead of my Livejournal from now on.

I'm really sad. I loved Livejournal. Fuck Russia. Goodbye Livejournal.
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I am happy they have fined the Conservatives for being bullshit, but 1) I don't understand why they've fined them less than the amount they apparently stole, and 2) I think they should give half of the fine money to the NHS and the other half to refugee charities.
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News of the Girl

  • The train company that runs my usual journey to work is on strike tomorrow, so I'm going to have find creative ways to get there and back tomorrow. It doesn't surprise me, because my journey home has been rubbish for months now - always packed, even though it's not rush hour, and never on time, and the staff are always the ones who end up getting the abuse, rather than the company owners. So I am quite supportive of this strike. But it is still quite annoying. There is a bus tomorrow morning, but it's a lot earlier than my train, so I'm going to get a lift into town tomorrow morning. And then tomorrow evening, there will be a bus at some point, but how and when I cannot say.

  • I saw Logan last week. I liked it. I can see why people say it's the best comic book film ever, but it is still a comic book film. And I didn't really like the ending. Massive Spoilers ).

  • I did not go see anything this weekend, because I decided I wanted a weekend in. I do want to see the King Kong film though, even though it mostly looks like a big, gun-happy film. I still quite enjoy Tom Hiddleston though, even if he is quite embarrassing lately, and he looked quite good in the trailer, even though the trailer also looked quite weird.

  • I hate Theresa May, I hate her. I see her walking around sometimes, like nothing is wrong, and I think "is this just sexism, why I hate her? Is a lot of it sexism?". And then I remember Yarl's Wood and I just get furious. I can't believe we're just allowing her. I can't believe she is just walking around and smiling, and has the gall to say the Conservatives are a party 'of the people and by the people' or whatever the fuck she said, and I just can't believe it. I can't believe we're allowing this.

  • Dear EU Commissioner who said he'd like us to eventually get back in the boat with Europe: I would love to be in the boat. Please save me a space in the boat.

  • Mostly what's happening at the moment is I think about making an LJ post, and then my thoughts collapse before I get to the end of what I actually want to say about them, and I go back to playing Horizon: Zero Dawn instead. I'm really enjoying Horizon: Zero Dawn, and I really like playing a massive, big game starring a female character, but it is kind of a shame that Aloy (the main character) is 18, and not really by our standards a fully adult woman, and that despite the fact they were all "she's grown up in a very matriarchal society, she goes looking for her mother!", a lot of it is really about her relationship with her father figure. And all the dudes who obviously want to bang her. All the dudes who want to bang her is great, and a nice flipped version of "every sexy woman the male hero meets and helps wants to do him". But I am hoping for another main female character to come along sometime shortly.

girlofprey: (R for raygun)
Horizon: Zero Dawn is pretty good.

And I have been tormented all day with video of Theresa May laughing like a jackal, thanks to Sky News.
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Some bullshit I have heard in the last few weeks:

  • One of the Let's Players I watch 'jokily' explaining that if you guilt or pressure a woman into sleeping with you, she isn't unwilling, it's not like you tricked her into it.

  • My dad, last night, saying that 'people talk about slavery, but in this country we sent children into mines and basically killed people in the mills, maybe the toffs in London had it better than them but we didn't', and then tried to tell me some 'historical facts' about slavery, and then said that really, 'slavery' was just a word, and I don't know what to say to him anymore. I ended up just repeating 'no' till the conversation was over.

  • Some arsehole on my train home yelling at one of our train conductors about how the train was always late, and then they had to de-couple it from another train and we were all left standing on the platform, and there was no 'uniform procedure'. If he had kept it up any longer, I would have suggested he write to the train company if he had a grievance, or, I don't know, the government for having no interest in funding or providing public services, but after the dude insisted he was angry because of the way the train conductor had spoken to him (entirely respectfully), the train conductor said "well, good luck with that", and closed the door so he could decouple the train.

On the other hand, I did quite enjoy all the EU leaders going to Theresa May and being like "he's no good for you girl" about Donald.
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Two news stories I saw today:

  1. Them moving the nuclear clock thirty seconds closer to midnight.

  2. Tim Peake going back into space.

Me: Take me with you.

Also today, I saw an advert with a song about PPI, and if you love me you'll never, ever sing it to me. And yesterday I saw a personalised license plate I actually quite enjoyed. I find personalised license plates incredibly pointless and annoying, and the street I walk down to get to work has so many of them. But yesterday I saw a taxi with the license plate "TAX 3Y". And I will take that. I will take Taxey the taxi.

I hope the Wall drama goes on throughout Donald Trump's presidency.
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All of our politicians and their wives suddenly appearing in fashion magazines: the face of modern fascism?

Here is what I consider Krissychula's greatest hits. Including the one I think about whenever it is too hot. I'm gonna slit someone's throat.

She won't let people embed the second one, for reasons I both completely do and completely don't understand, but it is here.
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