girlofprey: (Default)
Sometimes I forget how much puritans suck. Then I remember.

I tried to pay off my tax credits overpayment yesterday. It was a massive pain, because first the letter told me to call a number to speak to HMRC about it, which was not a free number, then a bit later in the letter it said there was also a website I could go to; the website said I could pay it off by cheque at my bank or building society, using the payslip they'd sent me, but I only had the letter and no payslip; I went to my bank on Saturday with a cheque and the letter, but they said they couldn't do it because they didn't have a sort code or account number to pay the cheque into (which was probably on the payslip); so I got the sort code and account number from the website, where it told you how to pay things off using telephone or online banking, and I went into my bank again yesterday, and they said that sort code and account number weren't for a Barclays account, so they couldn't pay it in. However, using the letter and sort code and account number and the cheque I'd written, they could pay the money as a transfer, using the payment reference on my letter as a transaction reference. So I hope that worked, and HMRC don't still think I owe them £1028.94. I could probably find out. By calling the non-free number.

I've decided to try to read Stephen King's It, since that trailer suggests it's a pretty powerful story. I went into Waterstones today, and I was going up in their lift I saw some Stephen King books on the ground floor. I was looking for something else too, but then I went down, with little time to spare till I had to go to work. There were only three books on the shelf, because it was the Stephen King part of the crime section. I went to 'Fiction K'. No Stephen King. I assume his books were in the horror section upstairs, but I had to leave. I searched for 'Stephen King It' on Amazon. The first result was 'The Stand'. Then 'Mr Mercedes'. Then 'The Shining'. I don't know why the world doesn't want me to have that book.
girlofprey: (R for raygun)
I'm spending money like billio at the moment. I paid £150 for the room bill for Redemption, took £100 out of a cash machine in case the dealer's room was good on top of that (it wasn't, but I did spend some of the leftovers on a game I was going to buy anyway), gave my mum £100 in rent for the month, and paid £110 to renew my metrocard for the month. All in the last week. Also I did buy that game, and I'm getting another one for £50 at the weekend because I think it's the only chance I'll have to get it on a physical disc. I did just get paid, but...it would probably still pay to slow down a bit.

I am planning to go to the cinema at the weekend though. I want to see Logan, but also Hidden Figures, and Moonlight, if I can find it on anywhere. Frankly it's tough only having one Saturday in a week. I will probably just go see Logan for this Saturday.
girlofprey: (Christmas Whale)
Christmas whale.

It doesn't feel very Christmas-y though. I don't know if it's the mild weather or the fact I'm working, so that takes up most of my time, but it's true. Or maybe it's that people are still reeling in shock from all the politics stuff, so no-one's really in the spirit. Watching Sky News all day really doesn't make me feel too Christmas-y. But anyway, it's true. I can sing Christmas carols to my heart's abandon, even though I don't feel like it, and yesterday I tried to think of even one and could only come up with 'Greensleeves'. Anyway. I'm going to have to do some Christmas shopping soon too, although I don't know when. I have an idea for something to get my mother, and I have the money for it this year too - but it does mean I'll probably need to get my dad something of a similar value, and I don't know what that is. Plus the kids. It's my YN's birthday in less than two weeks. Although I do have a present from last year that I never used hidden away in a drawer. Maybe that will have to do.

After all my worrying about how much time I have these days (despite my claims to the contrary), they're asking me to work extra hours next week, because the morning receptionist is on holiday. I awkwardly explained to my boss that I have OCD and find changes to my routine hard, so I couldn't say I was raring to do it, but I would. He was very nice about it, and said maybe I wouldn't find it as bad as I thought it would be, so we could take about covering in future after that. The thing is it's not the work, it's the amount of time outside of work I'm going to have. They want me to go in for 11 - and really, I think he was hoping for 10 - which means I won't have to get up any earlier, but I won't have time to have a shower on a morning like I usually do, and I won't be able to stay up a little late, because if I sleep in it will really fuck me. So I'll have less time of an evening. But maybe it's only my expectation of what I'm going to get done in a day that really upsets me, and if I let go of that it will be okay, or better at least. And it is only for a week. But the morning receptionist is pregnant, and so she's going to be off for months shortly, and I really don't think I can do that, no matter how well next week goes. I came to this job very much as a part-time job. But like I say, they've been very nice and flexible so far, so we'll see.

Things I have been doing: playing Final Fantasy XV. It's a game that's taken 10 years to come out, so it felt very special to pick it up on day one. And the game had a little leaflet in the front, which was a print-out of a thank you note signed by everyone on the team that made it. Which was lovely. I wanted to get my own opinion of it, rather than just having to listen to all the reviews and whether it was a 'real' Final Fantasy game or not. And I really like it. It's very atmospheric, and everything sort of feels like it goes together, which is hard thing to explain but really makes a game feel special for me. When the story and the characters and the mechanics all seem to work together, and nothing's jarring or feels too 'video-gamey', like it's just a set of mechanics. I really like the combat too, which is cool, because a few of the demos felt very janky. I haven't really touched the story yet, but I'm really enjoying it so far. And really, having everything work together is a real achievement for a game that was in development for so long. Well done to them.

Also, I have been reading the original Superman comic strips. They are amazing. Superman does not give a fuck. The first strip involves him going to see a governor in the middle of the night, who has a SOLID STEEL bedroom door. And the butler's like "haha, just try to get through that", and Superman's like "haha, I will" and rips it apart. Then the butler tries to SHOOT SUPERMAN. Like a fool. But Superman just laughs it off. And then saves a woman who was about to be wrongly executed for something she didn't do. It's great. Of interest to me: Jonathan and Martha Kent were not in the story from the beginning. Superman was raised in an orphanage, where they were like "golly!" about his super-strength, but decided not to say anything about it. But Lois Lane was there from strip one. And she is amazing. An example of their dialogue:

Clark: "Why is it you always avoid me at the office?"
Lois: "Please Clark! I've been scribbling 'sob stories' all day long. Don't ask me to dish out another."

Interestingly, I guess because of the time, Clark Kent is the star reporter at the Daily Star, and Lois is a 'sob sister', which basically means an agony aunt/writer of the sentimental pieces. She's pretty mad about it though. Perry White won't put her on a story about a dam bursting, so she tricks Clark and goes anyway. But then she nearly drowns in the flood and Superman has to save her, so it's not like it's super feminist. But still, she's great. And Clark is all about her. Which is quite lovely.

I get paid today, so I can continue to buy computer parts and actually try and get the thing built. Woo hoo. Also the tax credits place have written back to me, and now they want to pay me £380 a month instead of £390. Which is fine. Still seems bizarre to me, and I suspect it won't last past April, when the new tax year starts, and all my 'freshly working, was recently on ESA' stuff won't really apply. But I've queried it, and they've said it's all fine, so it's very welcome. Given that I'll probably be fine on my wage, I can just put it into my savings account. And then, if they decide they DID make a mistake, it will all just be there anyway to give back to them, and I will be mad, but it will be doable.

Meanwhile the company my company's working for is losing money every year, apparently, so I don't know how safe my job is, and my sister's partner's firm went bust, and I thought he'd been taken on by the firm that took over from them, but apparently everyone except him and his friend got picked back up, so he isn't working. And Christmas is coming, and my sister just got a £150 fine for not showing up to an anger management course they said she had to go on after assaulting a woman last year. So it's all a bit up in the air. But we're out of the depths or recession, say the Conservatives! So hooray. My sister and her family are moving into the new house this weekend apparently. They can't afford to pay my parent's rent yet, obviously, but they will at least be in there. So that's something, I guess.
girlofprey: (R for raygun)
Snapped at my mum like a jerk yesterday. I was running late to get my train and getting frustrated with myself. I apologised by text as soon as I could, and she was lovely about it, but still not a great thing to have done. I've been running around so much lately trying to do all the things I want to do, I ended up not really giving myself any time to think. Although I was also trying to avoid thinking, in case all the stuff I'm doing now made me too anxious, if I gave myself time to think about it.

I'm still worrying about how much time I've got, and work got a little frustrating this week. My main boss is on holiday, and I'm starting to get a few mixed messages about what I'm supposed to be doing. I've got a bunch of notes about all the stuff I'll be asked to do, but half of the information is outdated and wrong, and when I forget to do something, because I don't really recognise anyone, there's not really much of a way for me to chase it up and sort it out. I know it's probably fine, and to be expected in my first few weeks on a job, but it's still frustrating, and I get a little paranoid about how everyone thinks I'm doing. It's just weird when so much of your job is sitting around - when someone does ask you to do something or you do need to something and you don't get it right, it just feels really rubbish.

And I've been worrying about money lately. Which is sort of ridiculous, because I'm fine, and probably not going to run out any time soon. But I'm getting paid for the first time next week - yay! - and I had a lot of ideas about what I was going to do with my first paycheque. And they didn't really involve having to pay off all the stuff I'd already spent 'until I get paid'. To be honest, it's this PC build that's throwing me. When I first started it I figured I'd spend about £1000 on it, and I took that much out of my savings - but the list of parts I was getting always came to a bit more than that, and like I say I was spending stuff 'until I get paid' so I don't even have the full £1000 anymore - a lot of it was stuff I needed, like work clothes. But still. I've got a CPU and a case so far, but I know if I bought all the rest of the stuff on my list it would clear out my bank account right now. So I'm just sort of stuck at home, on a netbook that runs pretty slowly - including for things like googling and buying new computer parts - feeling like I should be getting on with buying parts so I can have a new computer but not really feeling like I can get on with it. And to be honest, my list doesn't even cover peripherals - little things like a screen and a keyboard. That's going to come to another couple of hundred at least. I'm thinking of asking my parents to get me a gaming mouse for Christmas. And again - I probably have the money, especially after I get paid, and whatever's going on with the tax credits. I guess I just...figured when I was started getting paid I'd feel more in control of my money. And I sort of don't. Every time I buy a takeaway, just because I feel like it, or I buy a new comic book to read at work, I feel completely out of control. And then I need to get a new train pass, this week, and as far as I can tell none of my options are really going to be any cheaper than just paying the fare every day, and Christmas is coming up, and arghfk. I need to sit down and really look at it, I guess. And I need to bite the bullet and just start buying computer parts. Especially when I get paid.

I always knew this was going to be the hardest part of going back to work. The part just after it's all fresh and new, and I can expect/give myself some leeway for things because I'm new to them, but before I get so used to it it's almost second nature. This was always the sort of time I used to really struggle with OCD and developing new rituals to feel okay about things. Right now I'm trying to resist that while also staying sort of organised.

Also, it could well be my hormones. I finally stopped bleeding this week, but in the end my period lasted three and a half weeks, so for all I know I'm due another one. Or maybe I'll have a nice long period of PMT for a bit. At least I did eventually stop bleeding though, so hopefully it's settling down a bit.

Life is hard.
girlofprey: (R for raygun)
My dad is genuinely in a mood with me because I started buying parts for my new PC build, and didn't consult with him or get his approval first. For real.

I called the Tax Credits place today, just to double-check about my form. The lady said as far as she could see from looking at it, they didn't have me down as having been on income-related Jobseeker's, which is a relief. The part of me that still worries keeps thinking maybe I got confused when I was deciding whether I qualified for the Disability aspect - but I always understood the concept of being on the taxable Jobseeker's, even if I got the terms mixed up, so I don't think I would have. The woman said that a lot of their decisions are based on 'faith' and not actually looking into your circumstances. But I feel like I've done pretty much everything I possibly can at this point to check if I made a mistake, and everything suggests that I didn't. However - one thing the woman said they didn't have was my projected taxable income for the rest of this year. This was something my Job Advisor said I'd need to do the Tax Credits calculator thing online, to see if I qualified, and it never asked me for it. And when I filled in the form it didn't ask me for it. But the woman on the phone said they'd need it, and it would affect my awarded payment, and if they didn't have it and they overpaid me they'd have to take the money back somehow. I don't think she meant sending the bailiffs round, just paying out less in the future, but still. So I gave it to her, including the taxable Jobseeker's Allowance I received this year. She said it would affect my payments, and I'd get a new awards letter sent out. It's all the same to me, I wouldn't have even thought about tax credits if it wasn't for my Job Advisor, and my new wage is enough for me. But it all seems like it's in a bit of a shambles at the moment.

I hope "even our very worst, most despicable politicians still hate Nigel Farage" is a top news story every day.
girlofprey: (R for raygun)
The more I hear about Bernie Sanders, the more I think he's just a cunt.

And Jeremy Corbyn seems to be taking after him, and that's a shame.

Tonight my train home was delayed due to flooding, and then my train home broke down a few stops from my stop. They got it going again. But still. It was not my favourite train ride home ever.

My Playstation Vita made it bearable though. The littlest Playstation.

Also, when I got home, I had a letter from the HMRC about my Working Tax Credits. They have given me them, which I sort of suspected when I looked at my bank balance the other day and had more than I thought I did. They are going to give me £400 a month. Which seems like a lot. It seems sort of ungrateful to even be shocked by it, and I'm not unhappy about it, I just...was not expecting that. They're going to give it to me until next April, the beginning of the next tax year, so I don't know if it'll continue after that, but. Wow.

I would feel a lot better about it, but ever since I sent off the form I have been worried that I accidentally confused Contribution-based and Income-based Jobseeker's Allowance. I know that they probably actually looked into my circumstances and tax records/national insurance information, and maybe that part didn't even make that much difference, but I'm still super-paranoid that I'm going to be accused of fraud somewhere down the line. I'm going to call the helpline tomorrow and just double-check. But if all goes well that's...very comforting. A lot more than I was expecting.
girlofprey: (R for raygun)
First day at work yesterday. In true Halloween fashion, I cut my finger and started bleeding a bunch, had to fill in a Workplace Accident form for the first time in my life. And because we have big screens opposite the main desk playing Sky News all day, I had to watch Donald Trump talk and crow over Hillary. Her latest scandal being - she has an assistant that sends emails.

I can't believe the polls. I just...wish Americans knew what a real evil female politician was like. Like Theresa May, or Margaret Thatcher. Just no, Americans.

Anyway. Work was okay, pretty quiet, as I expected. I didn't have my email address and stuff yet, apparently now because my line manager accidentally only requested it from November 1st, so they couldn't give it to me before then for security reasons. But I should have it by today, and then I can start doing the emails and car parking stuff, and looking on the internet to while away the time. Honestly, boredom might be the biggest problem in that job - I figured I'd read graphic novels while I was there, since they're a little more pick-up-and-put-down-able than a book. But I read 2 massive ones during my shift, completely. I can't really afford to buy 2 every day for work. It was nice to actually get on with reading though. But books might actually be better.

As I expected though, the late evenings are really going to take some getting used to. The security guard who was taking over from me got there a few minutes early and was nice enough to let me go for my train, so I managed to get the 19:12 one, but even then I don't get home until about 8 o'clock. By the time I've had dinner, it's 9 o'clock. I watch a couple of Youtube videos and it's bedtime. I'm up now, and I only really have 2 hours till I need to leave for work. I mean, I knew spending 25 hours of my week working - plus travelling to and from - was going to mean I had less time for everything else, but it's different to actually be doing it. If I end up getting the 8 o'clock train most nights, it's only going to be worse. Should probably bring my PS Vita to play in the station if I get stuck. But anyway, at least I'm working. And earning.

Eventually, anyway. At the moment I'm so broke my mum had to transfer some money into my account just so my direct debit for kickboxing didn't make me go overdrawn. I was planning to buy some new work clothes, but that's on hold for the moment. Plus the fact I'm probably going to have to sort out and pay for my new railcard before the current one runs out, which will probably be before I get my first paycheck. Unless I just pay the individual fares until I get paid. There's so much to think about. I probably am going to have to transfer some money from my ISA though. Plus I'm meant to be buying/building a PC at some point. Still, I am happy to be earning and working though, and I'm happy that the job's going well.

(I couldn't figure out the phones, and first I ignored a call because I thought the girl who trained me said we didn't really do much with the phones, and then I answered a call and couldn't figure out how to transfer it, so I kept them on hold for about three minutes. But I'm pretty sure that guy was trying to sell something to one of our executives. And he never called back. So maybe it was fine. Everything went pretty smoothly after that.)
girlofprey: (R for raygun)
So. My plan to not think too much about my new job so I overthink it and get worked up has, somewhat expectedly, backfired today, because I'm left scrambling to finally get everything ready. My mum is washing my work clothes - which, to be fair, I thought I might be wearing yesterday during my last shift at the Hospice - and I need to remember to have a bath tonight and do my Working Tax Credits form. I need to remember that I'm planning to get the train at 11 o'clock tomorrow, not 12 o'clock, because I want to go into Leeds and get some stuff before I go for my shift. But I have my metro pass, and I have a clean jumper I can wear, and they are expecting me, and I should be able to get a decent night's sleep since I don't have to get up particularly early.

I really enjoyed Blackpool yesterday, and I'm glad I went, but I might start missing the money soon enough. I keep thinking "I'll be earning in November", and forgetting that I won't actually be paid until pretty much December, so the only money I've got coming in between now and then is £140 from my last Jobseeker's payment. And the grand from my dad, but that's all going on the computer, so it's really as short as it's long. I'll probably have to borrow some money from my ISA, because there's some stuff I've been planning to get - like new work clothes - that I just don't think I'll have the money for otherwise. It's just a matter of remembering to do it.

But Blackpool was great. We got there for about 11 in the morning, so we figured we'd spend a little time just wandering up the front and along the piers. I knew they were doing Halloween food in Pleasure Beach, so I wanted to wait till we got there to have lunch, but I completely misjudged the distance from the Tower to Blackpool Pleasure Beach (for the first time that day - the second time leading to us nearly missing our train home), so by the time we got there we were both starving - and then we learned the fancy new process of getting in to Blackpool Pleasure Beach. When I was a kid you could just wander in and out at will, you just needed tickets to ride the rides (my dad used to buy strips from scalpers, I think - a couple of A tickets, a few more B tickets, and a bunch of C tickets). But now you have to decide what kind of experience you want before you go in, buy tickets accordingly, and then go through the gates and have them scanned. The queues were long and we had no idea what we were doing, so we ended up just going to the Something Grill right outside the park. I had a delicious bacon and cheese burger, but the food took forever to come, so despite having gotten to Blackpool early, we ended up not actually getting into the park until about 3 o'clock. For one horrible moment we thought mum was going to have to buy a £30 wristband just to get into the park, even though she was actively invested in not going on any rides, but it turned out there was a £6 option for just getting in through the gates.

It's an interesting system though, because after I paid £30 for a wristband, I felt sort of obliged to go on some rides, even though I'd sort of stopped feeling it by that point in the day. So I went on The Big One, after decades of looking at it and thinking 'I wonder what that's like, I would never have the nerve to go on it'. And it was fun, but the kind of fun that's almost on the side of unpleasant, which might mean I'm getting older. I was pretty tired and the cheeseburger hadn't quite settled yet though. Like, I was screaming and giggling with adrenaline - and the view was amazing - but it also made my neck hurt and made me feel kind of sick. I think it would probably have been more fun if I was on with a kid. Maybe next year. Anyway, we and mum wandered through the 'horror maze', then I went on the Big Dipper for old times' sake, and then the Ghost Train because Halloween. Then we were pretty much out of time, so we went out, had a 99 because it's a weird autumn that isn't that cold, and walked down the front looking at the lights. Ending in a brisk jog through Blackpool town centre to get our train. We were going to get a tram, but we couldn't understand them. Anyway, the train home was amazing, because I think it was pretty much the last train out of Blackpool all night, and it was ram-packed with people coming home with their kids. Me and mum managed to get some fold-down seats in one of the doorway compartments, and a truly unbelievable amount of furious women got on at the last minute with buggies, who'd obviously been out with their kids in Blackpool all day and now couldn't get a seat. Then a dude with a teddy bear as big as he was turned up to get on. Like, no room man. No room even for humans. But it all quietened down after Preston. Our second train back from Leeds was full of drunk people in fancy dress singing, and drunk people not in fancy dress just casually swearing all over the place, and naturally a bunch of the singing people got off at our local stop and one quite drunk guy mistook my mum and me for a couple, because I was holding her hand so we wouldn't get swept away by rowdy people. And then we got home, and the clocks went back and we got another hour. Bonus.

My new job is tomorrow and I have to remember to wash my hair tonight. I'm also having a weird mini-period. So that's fun.
girlofprey: (R for raygun)
So the Jobcentre finally paid me. They paid me £600. I was only really looking to see if the £140 I was expecting had gone in. Part of me's worried it's a mistake and I'll have to give some of it back. If not, all I can think is that they decided to backdate my claim like I asked them to, and haven't let me know yet.

But yeah. Wow. I had £10 in the bank last week, and this week I have £1000.
girlofprey: (R for raygun)
The good news: I got the job.

The bad news: Because I am essentially working for a bank, I need to have a lot of credit and CRB checks done for security reasons, so I won't officially start until the 31st October.

The good news: That means the random dates I threw at them for the trips I'm planning to take in October are no longer binding, and I can go whenever I like, and I can also go to kickboxing for another few months at least.

The bad news: Idk how I'm going to pay for all of that, I'll have to dip into my savings and then pay it back later I guess.

But. I got the job. So I have a little security in my future at least. And I should be employed by Christmas, which will be really nice. To be honest, the credit check thing is kind of throwing me a bit because I don't think my credit's great, but I think they're more looking for county court judgements and fraud than my dislike of credit cards. It just means a few months of not working, other than training days and stuff. I'm going into the Jobcentre today to see what that means for my benefits, although under the current government I'm guessing 'not much'. Also I need to buy a computer. Ouch. Oh, and my Job Advisor woman said I'd get working tax credits if I got a job within a certain amount of time of finishing ESA, so I don't know how that's going to stack up either. So it's not the best possible outcome. But I am seeing it as a positive thing. Hurray!
girlofprey: (R for raygun)
I'm pretty sure my period has started. Which is nice, because it's due, but after the stress of last week I wasn't sure if it wouldn't be delayed a little bit, and I might end up getting it when I was supposed to be going to Insomnia (the computer game convention) next week, and I might end up missing it again. Which I'd rather not do, number one because I actually want to go, and number two because an email has informed me there'll be Playstation VR stuff there - which seems pretty obvious now. And I'd quite like to try it out, given that I still keep dallying with the idea of getting it. It'd be nice to know if I'm one of the people that gets motion sickness just from VR before shelling out a bunch of money on it. It's probably a bit of a pipe dream anyway, because some leaked materials have suggested you need a 6ft by 4ft area of completely empty space to use it, so the headset doesn't get confused, and I'm basically planning to get it just for sitting-on-my-bed play. But. It's worth checking out at the very least.

Another mark against getting it is the fact that my bank account is quickly dwindling. I do have savings - what little I have that my parents haven't borrowed - but still. It's probably an idea to get on Jobseeker's pretty soon, or just start looking for a job. The sheer amount of time it took to find out I couldn't apply for Jobseeker's until a calendar month after my last ESA payment, though, makes me think getting onto Jobseeker's isn't going to be an easy and stress-free experience. Part of me wants to leave it until after this week's 'home holiday', to make up for the holiday last week, before getting into it.

I went to kickboxing last night, and accidentally banged my foot, which before then had been pretty much getting better. So I'm icing it now and it's been hurting all day. So that's awesome.

Things that are genuinely awesome: Machias and Jusis in Trails of Cold Steel. I hope they get married by the end of the trilogy, just to show those nobles.
girlofprey: (R for raygun)
I had an interesting weekend. We had a fire on my street. Which is really a cul-de-sac. I came down at 12.30 on Friday night - way too late to be up when I had to go to the Hospice the next day anyway - and my parents weren't downstairs, so I went into our garage and saw an orange glow and a huge plume of smoke. The engine block in our neighbour's car had set on fire, about half an hour after he'd come back home in it. Which is apparently a thing that can happen. Honestly, it was like a bonfire. Then we heard bangs, which I guess was the tire blowing, because when the smoke clear the car was all lopsided. So we all stood outside on the street waiting for the fire engine to turn up. Once it did it was all over pretty quickly, and thankfully not much else got damaged than the car. Their gutters are a little bit melted, and the plants of the neighbour next to them are a little bit singed, but somehow the car beside the other one on the driveway came out completely unscathed. The car that was on fire is completely fucked though. Like, the front is melted. Presumably they're getting that replaced pretty soon.

Then over the weekend I got a little sad. I asked mum and dad when they thought I'd be getting the money back that I lent them for the house. I'd already asked dad a few days before, and he got angry at me for asking. And the answer on Saturday was basically 'not any time soon'. They really went down to the wire to buy that house, and - as I suspected - the money going to my sister isn't stopping any time soon. Apparently she needs a new kitchen in the new house, and my parents are planning to pay for it. So that's about £2,500. So. Yeah. I mean, the terms were not clear for the repayment of the money, when my mum got me out of bed asking whether it would even be possible for me to transfer them the money, because they needed it by half past midday. But I really felt like it was meant to be a short-term, 'hand us the money and when we're paid in a few days we'll hand it back' kind of thing. Instead I'm left feeling like my dad just figured my savings account was a piggy bank he could raid. I think I got my point across that I'd been expecting the money back soon, and that it wasn't nothing to me to have it, just because I wasn't spending it. I liked having that security, and a little independence from my parents, too. Also probably got across what a risky venture I think buying my sister a house is, if it's going to take them down to the wire. Dad got annoyed at me again, and we were family, and families just do for each other. But I think I got how I felt across. Mum was talking about transferring some money over this week, and paying me back £500 for starters. So we'll see. Mostly I just wish they'd never asked me. That they'd never had to ask me. I wish I was just out of it, and it was between them and my sister. You know, no-one even thanked me for the money. I had to remind mum she might do that, after running around for her transferring things all morning, and dad asked me where the other thousand I had was. And my sister - blah.

Other than that, I haven't really had much to talk about, other than my ongoing perplexed feelings about The Witcher. It's such an odd game. I'm enjoying it, and I'm way more interested now in the story than I was, but it's such a slog. And the way everyone talked about it, I was really expecting kind of a masterpiece, but the story's quite trashy really. Lots of swooning, skinny sorceresses with their tits out, 'which one will he choose?' and etc. Mostly I'm doing what I do with most stories that kind of bore me, and imagining the kind of story I'd be writing. About a spectre king, and the gutter-rat mutated into a monster-slayer for hire, who keeps vaguely tailing him and foiling his plans. I'm enjoying that story.

And I've been catching up on Coronation Street. The football really threw me, and all those random hour-long episodes. But oh my God. David.
girlofprey: (R for raygun)
So - the money thing turned out to be that mum and dad didn't quite have enough money for the house. Because the house is still going to be in their name, they didn't realise that they'd have to pay stamp duty, because they owned two properties at once, which meant paying out a couple of extra thousand. Which would have been fine - apparently - because they're both getting paid by next week - but it turned out the people selling the house wanted the money today. So my mum came into my bedroom this morning, asking if I'd transfer some money from my ISA into her account. Which is still way more involved than I wanted to be, but whatever. It took a few calls, and I had to transfer it into my own current account, then into her account, but I did it. Apparently they didn't actually need the money at the appointment they had today, like they thought they did, but it's being transferred overnight, so by tomorrow they should have the house. And I am assured that my money was just for a short term loan, and I'll probably have it back by next week. Of course, because I haven't paid anything into my ISA for a while, I'll have to go through a whole security rigmarole to pay it back in. But, other than that, it should be quite straightforward at least.

When my dad got home, he - half-jokingly - asked why I'd only transferred £2000. He said I had £3000, so he'd thought I might transfer all of it, so mum and he had £500 spending money each. Fuck off, dad. It was half-joking, but still annoying. He's only got £60 in the bank, apparently. But he's meant to be getting paid this week, so not for long. I also suggested he shouldn't have booked a holiday for my sister's kids, if he was going to be in that sort of dire straits. He blamed mum for that.

Meanwhile, my sister's contribution today was to repeatedly text mum while she and I were sorting out bank things, asking when mum was coming to take the kids to school, and could she bring some clean socks and underwear because the kids didn't have any.

Anyway. So my trip to Leeds is on hold till tomorrow. If I'm allowed to spend any money at the moment. Mum will never know it was a trip to buy her own birthday present that got postponed. Or at least not till Sunday. Also I went to vote today. Please let Britain stay in the EU. Please don't let the racists win. Please don't trap us in a country with the racists.
girlofprey: (R for raygun)
sfkjlskdfasklfhklsjahfjk The most infuriating soap person on Tumblr just made a post about scene between two female friends, and tagged it with stuff about how rare strong friendships are in soaps, especially between women, that aren't 'demeaning' and just all about men, and Tumblr won't let me reblog the post or @ the guy, and every time I try to make a post about how WRONG he is, WRONG, I have to start off explaining all the things Tumblr won't let me do and it's so awkward the whole post feels ridiculous after that. HE'S SO WRONG. And he doesn't watch Coronation Street because he tried one episode and 'the hypocrisy was too much for him'. But he still talks shit about Coronation Street, and everything they should change about the show, every time it comes up, even though he doesn't even watch it. If he wants female friendships he should just go to there. He's going to feel that way when apparently he mostly watches Eastenders.

Anyway rant over. Tomorrow, I have accidentally scheduled a shopping trip to Leeds, a soap podcast, and voting in the EU referendum. The EU referendum is almost making me feel sick. I mean, I finally get to do the one thing I can actually do about it, and vote to stay in, but also we're going to have the results by tomorrow night. And so many people are being hugely racist. And is that if, if the country votes to leave? Do the politicians have to do it? Or do they just have to take it under advisement? I know if we vote to leave and then we don't, people will just vote UKIP in the next election. It's weird how much momentum the Leave campaign seems to have, but I also assume that they're just loud extremists. And there was a lot of buzz about Scotland leaving the UK during their referendum, and they didn't. I guess I just worry that the Stay people might not bother to vote like the extremists probably will. Like how people forgot to vote against the Conservatives.

The shopping trip can't really be moved though - it's my mum's birthday on Sunday, and she's actually going away over the weekend, so I'm not sure when I'll be able to give her a present. Or what to get her. Mum's one of those really annoying people who don't really want anything, and if you ask them, say "really - don't make a fuss" - but is also the person who least deserves to get up on their birthday, and then realise "oh...nobody did make an effort". But I'll find her something. Even if it's just bath stuff or whatever.

My parents are getting on with buying my sister a house, as I mentioned before, and then they booked a holiday for this year for my sister's kids. Which seems like a lot of expenditure. My mum joked afterwards that they might have to borrow something off me to pay for it - but in that way where people wouldn't even make the joke if they weren't kind of thinking about it. And then today my dad asked me 'where's your money?', and about my bank accounts, and how easily I could access my savings. And...I really don't want to lend them money. And it feels really ungrateful when they're letting me stay here for free and paying for stuff for me, but I know if they borrow anything it's just going on all this stuff for my sister, and my sister is a black hole as far as money is concerned, like she is definitely contributing no money to the holiday my parents are taking her kids on, zero. And I really don't want to get dragged into that. That is an insecure enough investment that I really really don't want my finances - what little I have - dragged into it too.

AU number fifty-eight that the Daredevil kink meme came up with and then barely used: a highschool AU where Matt and Fisk were opposing debate team captains, and every time they argued their friends just rolled their eyes because the UST was incredibly palpable. Someone prompted that, and someone else wrote 300 words about it instead of 30,000. Why?
girlofprey: (R for raygun)
Today, after trying all week and having one appointment cancelled due to the doctor being sick, I finally, finally got an appointment with a female doctor. And I had a breast exam, because I'm never sure I'm doing it right, and I wanted to settle my mind that nothing's already wrong, so I could move forward with self-examinations. The doctor was lovely, and it turns out I've been doing it way too hard. Which I kind of guessed, since it usually hurts afterwards, but it's nice to have a model to move towards, rather than just vaguely feeling like I'm doing something wrong. I explained that a lot of it was about anxiety, and I knew there was probably nothing really wrong - it always awkward trying to explain to doctors how you're trying to balance your mental health problems/anxiety with actual health concerns. But she was lovely about it, and it's done now, hurrah!

On the other hand, I signed up to be involved in a beta for a game that's coming out this year. A beta is sort of an exclusive session in a game that's not ready to be released yet, so the developers can pick up any specific bugs that happen as people are playing, or see if certain things in the game are too hard or too easy. And I got accepted! To my first beta-test. But the session in question is only going to last 3 hours, and it's scheduled for tonight, when I'm already booked to go to the pantomime. Sadness.

On the other other hand, I received a statement yesterday for my old Post Office account. My parents opened it for me when I was a kid, and I never use it anymore, and there's just about £80 sitting in it. So I'm going to close it down and just have that money. Free £80, yay!
girlofprey: (R for raygun)
I don't know if I ever updated you all on what happened with the ridiculous piece of gaming merchandise I bought. Essentially, I bought a statue, it arrived broken. I emailed the company to ask about a replacement, they said I'd have to buy a new one and return the old one as separate transactions. I bought a new one - waited to make sure it was in one piece when it arrived - then returned the old one. As I was returning it everyone said it was odd the company hadn't sent me a pre-paid returns sticker, but you know, they hadn't, and it cost me £11 to return it (the only postage that would cover the package up to it's actual value). I got home, emailed the company asking if I was entitled to the return postage, and they said I was, but as I had already sent it off I could no longer have it. I sent a VERY angry email about how weird and choppy their responses had been to me about the returns process, especially if they had neglected to mention important information like that, and they offered to refund the money anyway, on my second purchase of the statue, if I provided proof of how much it cost. I got that money immediately, because I bought it the second time with paypal. So I'm forced to assume the returned package got to them. But they said my actual refund for the first statue would take a bit longer because I bought it on my card, so it'd show up on my next bank statement.

I wasn't entirely sure what that meant, since that only really makes sense for a credit card, where they just tot up all the charges and payments at the end of the month - I used a debit card - but I was alright to wait. My new bank statement just came today, and there's no sign of any refund on it - just the £11 for the postage. I've spent a bit of money, thinking "well, I've got that £70 coming in" - and it's not here. So I guess I'll have to email the company again and see what's happening with that. Sigh.

Anyway. In happier news, my bedroom briefly became a tip yesterday, but then got cleaned up again. And now the cupboards above my wardrobe are emptier and the boxes are gone from down the side of my bed. Hurrah. And the stuff I no longer needed has even gone off to the charity shop, because my dad was meant to be going golfing but then his partners cancelled on him, so he was in all day and offered to take me. And my bedroom is basically tidy! Nearly six years after I moved into it. But I did it. It's so lovely. It's so lovely being able to open my wardrobe doors without having to move a bunch of stuff out of the way first, and open my drawers without having to move stuff out of the way, and by and large knowing that there's nothing in the wardrobe or the drawers I don't really want. There's still a few jobs I wouldn't mind doing - I could go through the bag collection in my wardrobe to get rid of any I don't really want, or clear out some of my old CDs. But they're pretty small things, overall it is done! Hurrah!

The weirdest thing about taking Sertraline is that sometimes I sleep through my alarm or lie in and get up a few hours later than I usually do, and then my head feels all staticky. I'm going to assume it's withdrawal, I feel way better after I've taken a pill. Maybe I'm not taking enough to have withdrawal symptoms, and it's just the effect of getting up super late. Hum.
girlofprey: (Girl Blue Hair)
I went to Thought Bubble today, West Yorkshire's yearly comic book convention. Spent more than I meant to, as usual, but I can afford it for now. And some of it was stuff I would have gotten anyway, so I probably saved on shipping. This line would work better on me if I didn't know there are a couple of PS4 games coming out in the next few weeks that I want and that will be hella expensive. Umm.

But anyway - I stopped off on the way back from Leeds and ended up walking home for about an hour. It started raining, but just gently, so I didn't bother getting my umbrella out. It took about twenty minutes for me to realise actually I had quite a few cloth and paper bags filled with paper comic books, and probably their condition would be optimum if I didn't let them get soaked through with rainwater. Some of their covers are wrinkly and a signature got smudged. But other than that, they're okay folks!

I also handed in my DBS form to start volunteering yesterday. I have to have a DBS check (basically a CRB check) before I can properly start and be left on my own, which will talk about six weeks. At the interview the woman who's sort of the head volunteer said I could come in and train while waiting for it to come back, since I didn't need a DBS check for that - but when I handed in the form, that woman's superior said the check would take about six weeks and to 'call them' when it came back so I could get started. So I don't know when something will next happen now. In six weeks or this week. I'll have to wait and see.
girlofprey: (R for raygun)
I got to the farm trip today and it was all fine. Well, it was stressful, but it turned out all fine. And I got my mum and birthday present and card in time for her birthday, hurrah. But now I'm exhausted and don't feel like doing anything, but also don't feel like going to bed early tonight. Hmm.

I'm also hitting the upper limit of my 'no hands washing' homework right now. After the farm visit today and all the stress of getting there this morning, I have only one hand-washing opportunity left to me today, and I'm saving it for brushing my teeth tonight. Hence I have already been to the bathroom twice this evening without washing my hands afterwards. That's not so fun. Tomorrow I have to do exposure therapy and do basically the same thing all night. Which I am EXTREMELY LOOKING FORWARD TO. Although to be fair, I don't if I'm feeling so bad right now mostly because of that or the being so tired thing.

In other news, I had pots of money at the beginning of the week, and then I booked for a con, found myself in a shop which had a range of bras in my size so I bought £50 worth, and now LJ is telling me my account expires soon, no, why?
girlofprey: (Princess and the Frog Tiana)
The days when I decide I actually DO want Ever After High dolls are some of the hardest days of all.
girlofprey: (R for raygun)
MY Jobcentre appointment today, some ESA blather and confusion )

Anyway. Other than that I was freaking out slightly that we were halfway through December and I had no idea what I wanted for Christmas, or what to get anyone else. But then I realised I had an idea for my ON's present (which I've now ordered), my MN and YN can just have something from Argos or the Early Learning Centre really, and I only give my sister £10 in a card, which just leaves mum and dad. Who never tell me what they want or seem to want anything, so in some ways I'm not sure it matters what I get them, as long as I get it with love and good intentions. I'll have to schedule love and good intentions, and a shopping trip, into next week somewhere. It is the 11th today and next week it will be the 18th and that is basically Christmas. ARGH.

As far what I want - it's weird because at the moment I have quite a bit of money, from a couple of ESA arrears payments over the years, so I can pretty much afford to get myself anything I actually want, if I wanted to. Even the pretty expensive stuff. So it doesn't feel like there's much urgency. The main thing I was thinking of in the run-up to this Christmas was a PS4, because they were released in November but...they're so expensive, they're more expensive than what my parents usually spend on me at Christmas, so I'd either just be getting some money towards it or giving them half the money so they and I could buy it for me together, anyway. And they've all sold out till after Christmas now, I think. And I'm still at my parents' house stuck in the spare bedroom playing on Playstation games, and I don't really want to be filling it up with consoles. There's still games I love and am replaying or haven't started yet on the PS3, so I wouldn't be getting rid of that, so there'd also be a lot of messing around with wires, making sure the right one's plugged in and hooked up to the TV before I used either of them. And we already have a VHS player and the Playstation in there, so it really would just be consoles on top of consoles. And uhh.

So I might just leave the PS4 until the spring, when I can plan for it better. Also, like I say, I don't even think you could get one now if you wanted to. So I'm probably going to just give my parents a list of DVDs and CDs I'd quite like, as per usual. I could use a new watch. But I could buy myself one, and buy the one I actually wanted, if I wanted to. So uhh.
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